Cryptor 
¨ 11-11-2003 06:30 PM 
Re: Re: Any complaints about Conquest? 
quote: Originally posted by Feephi 
You spend $30 on it, all your time on a Friday night with it, and it doesn't give you sex.
---------------
I think the problem is that your not treating her right. Your copy of c3c needs to feel important, so take her to your local market place, and let her spend some of your gold on luxuries for herself. When the sun sets, take her out to a grannary, and rush buy a quality meal. Make sure you've got industrious workers serving you, to ensure prompt service and avoid awkward delays. After you feel her food box is full enough to grow to the next level, a trip to Shakespeare's Theatre may help to put her in the mood, or Copernicus Observatory if she is that way inclined. Avoid Sun Tzu War Academy, as a visit to it is more likely to result in the loss of one or more of your loved ones limbs, which will not put her in the mood for loving. After her trip to the theatre, or night under the stars, take her back to your Forbidden Place, light some candles, dim the lights, take out your Cruise Missile and prepare for a Revolution, and the anachry that follows. (Note, if your loved one is religious, this final stage may be unexpectedly short, so prepare for disapointment.)

Handy Hints.

- Driving the lady around in a sexy tank may help to put her in the mood. A pleasant Chariot ride is even more effective.

- Always use protection. Failure to do so may cause a Courthouse to forceably place you in an expensive 20 year GPT deal.

- Avoid Police Stations, Stock Exchanges, Research Labs, and especially the Manhatton Project.

- If something unfortunate may happen which results in the sudden demise of your loved one, quickly get to the nearest Airport, taking care to avoid all Police Stations on the way.

- If she keeps crashing, take her to the Hospital immediatly. She may need a patch. Be forwarned, sometimes you may have to wait for this patch.

- Being Expansionist may help your chances of finding the right girl for you. For some bizarre reason, it also aviods the butch chicks that beat you up.

- If your significant other looks like she's straight out of the 70's, and has an inkling towards free drugs, free love, and free rock and roll, mention to her how great you think Recycling Plants and Solar Plants are, and continually complain about Tactical Nukes, Coal Plants and Manufacturing Plants.

- Keep and eye on any deals your very good friend makes with others. Mutual protection pacts are a concern, but any rights of passage are a sure sign that she'll not being as faithful as she should.

- Don't forget to establish an embassy before you start firing cruise missiles in her direction.

- You can win over the one you love in many ways, but I suggust you try cultural and diplomatic methods first. Taking her into space would be great, but not particularly practical. I suggest you leave conquest and domination as the last resort. And don't forget, if you're patient, you can always win on points.

- If things aren't going as well as hoped, don't despair, you can always retire.