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Dry
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Brussels
Sep 2000
time: 06:33
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quote:
Originally posted by Pekka
sprayber, that's how you do it! Some people don't understand how to deal with bullies in school. It's not enough to hit back when he is bullying you. He'll just be more angry and hit you more, because bullies are usually bigger. It's not enough to beat them and make them cry. He'll come after you even harder and will call you liar when you tell everyone about it. Can you beat him twice, with his bully friends having his back?
You do just like you did.. you beat him and submit the guy and humiliate him in front of everybody. That's a legit victory and gives you respect from everyone. Key word is submitting and humiliating. It's not enough to slap the guy around. He can always claim otherwise afterwards. Make him submit, just like you did by choking.
I'm proud of you! 
YEAHhhhhhhhhhh Bring it ooooon!  |
That's not exactly my experience. But the situation was also a little bit different.
I had almost no problems with bullying. I was a 'don't mess with me, I won't mess with you' kind of guy and looked like being strong enough to be a potential threat. So, the only guys that had problems with were the 'leader of the pack' kind.
Those who wanted that I submit to their lead. Or those who desperatly needed to know if they were stronger than me of not.
The trick was: beat them in private, no witness, no humiliation and send the very clear unspoken message: "I can beat you with one hand whenever I want. Now the next fight can take place in front of everybody. Do you really want to take that risk?"
After you've done that DO NOT TELL anybody you beat him. He would be in danger of losing his leader/strongest guy position and of course he will come back, because he desperately needs to show others HE is the true leader, the true strongest guy.
As long as only you and him know who is the strongest and as long as he knows you won't use this against him (his position), you don't have problems anymore.
The only time I had a 'public' fight with such a 'leader', it appeared very quickly that I would beat him. The fight ended very quickly and was diplomaticaly called a draw.
No humalition, no lost of status.
We had each what we wanted: he stayed the leader, the unbeaten guy, and I could stay outside the gang's 'domination'. We even became friends.
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Pekka
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em seu burro dos pais!
Feb 2002
time: 07:33
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Dry, depends. I understand your situation and I'm glad the outcome was the best possible for you.
I'm talking about maybe younger bullies here.. under 12 years. When you go 13 and older, the bullies are more 'real'. They might have more than just big size advantage and few goons to follow them. Not saying they'd be all great, but that losing face is worse then, and that might lead to continous hostilities.Guys are going through puberty, testosterone flowing, losing face is the worst for bully. You said he had a gang, that's a different scenario. I was talking when you have bully and some goons following him...... you need new strategy over older guys with more to lose. I was never picked on when I was older so I don't know solutions to that.. but I guess you knew and did good. I was only picked on for a short while when I was younger, 10 and 11 because I had rash. It was a short face of my life, but then I only had few good friends who was with me even when the bullies teased me and called me names and losers would laugh, because they thought it was funny, or laughed so they wouldn't be teased by the bully. But even my few good friends wouldn't stand next to me when I was teased.. they wouldn't laugh, but they'd step back and let me face it alone. I understood it though, and held no grudge because of it.
But I learned one thing, that if you don't step up for yourself, no one ever will. And if you don't do something about it, it will never stop. This was learned after short series of humiliating experiences though. Kids that age, they take it pretty hard and at that point the teasing is your whole life and it sucks. But I was active hockey player, so I wasn't a skinny wimpy kind of guy. And all the others were like 'why don't you say back, you can take him', but the same guys would laugh at me when I was insulted and threatened. So they were just baboons, getting entertained. So the last day I got teased was when the teacher was late and we were in class (they were in the same class with me) and started insulting again. I felt like crying actually, and thought either I'll step up or start crying now because I can't take it anymore, so I shouted back. It was one of my proudest moments in my life. I remember it like yesterday. I shouted 'stand up or I'll drop you where you sit you fat ****' and after few seconds he stood up and *WHAM* my first fight was on and the only fight I had in school ever. I knew how to fight, from playing hockey and was roughened that way for a 11 year old and I charged like a train gave the first few punches, drew first blood and that's where it ended. His punk friends wouldn't do crap. They just say 'you're bleeding!' like bunch of sissies. And the bully went 'yeah I'm going to nurse and you'll be in trouble'... what a *****! 
He tried to be my friend after that, but I didn't want to be his friend. But we never clashed again. I'm glad I did what I did. If you don't stand up, you'll be punked around forever by losers.
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Albert Speer
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Puerile Polemic
Mar 1999
time: 00:33
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yeah Pekka is absolutely right. the thing with a fist-fight is that whoever gets hit first will probably lose for the simple fact that a punch in your stomach or your face will daze you for at least a second or two, enough time for your opponent to put in another hit and another hit and within seconds, you're crawling into a ball shielding yourself from an assault. that is why the first blow is crucial to winning a fight.
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Albert Speer
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Puerile Polemic
Mar 1999
time: 00:33
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that would be a shame if Ben Kenobi got banned for saying that after Asher launched a complaint.
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Albert Speer
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Puerile Polemic
Mar 1999
time: 00:33
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Ben:
like i said, it would be a shame if Asher, having showed his disgust for people calling him that, asked Ming to ban you, someone who clearly wouldn't deserve it, for it just cause you made a little joke of still calling him glonkie. in other words, i'm warning you and notice i said it would be a shame if that happened.
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Ben Kenobi
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McGregornobi!
Oct 2002
time: 21:33
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At least I can find someone else. Nicknames on the other hand...
Last edited by Ben Kenobi on 08-01-2004 at 11:41
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Serb
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Siberia, Communist party of Apolyton
Nov 2001
time: 11:33
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My wife calls me "Serick-Erick-Berick" or just "Serick".
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Apolyton Time is 00:33. |
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07-01-2004 15:33
I'll say no more...
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