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lightblue
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L'Boro, UK
Oct 2001
time: 05:35
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quote:
Originally posted by Dissident
are you a guy? did you not read the part about a women getting half you own, even if she doesn't even work? Not to mention she gets to keep the kids, and if you're lucky, you get to see them on weekends. |
Ye I am a guy. It's just the kind of woman you go for. Any woman I'd go out with is almost invariably ambitious and wanting her own career. If you're only hooking up with women that want to live off your cash you're looking in the wrong places.
And to be fair if you're co-habiting you'll have even less of a legal foot to stand on wrt kids if you get spearated. But the whole idea of marriage is that you don't separate... I think a large part of the high divorce stats is people marrying on what approaches a whim, or because they're pressured into it due to unplanned pregnancies and that sort of thing.
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Drogue
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Omnipresent conscience
Oct 2002
time: 05:35
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quote:
Originally posted by Whoha
60% of US-US marriages end in divorce. |
Which would be a lot lower than the number of non-marriage relationships that end in breakup. It is incredibly hard to have a relationship that lasts the rest of your life, it is an astounding feat, IMHO. Therefore, that 40% succeed in this is an impressive figure.
I will admit, that the stability of marriage is partly caused by the obstacles in breaking up, and so some marriages stay together because of convenience, not because of continued emotion, so I would question the value of stability brought on because of obligation not desire. The fact that 60% still do end in divorce says two things: that it is hard to keep a relationship together forever, and that it is now easier to get a divorce than it used to be (comparing it to old divorce figures). For childraising and stability it's a bad thing, having a high divorce rate, but I'd rather have that than force people to remain together when they don't want to. Therefore, personally I don't see a problem with a high divorce rate, although I will admit it does destroy the so called sanctity of marriage somewhat, but then again.
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DanielXY
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Germany
Dec 2002
time: 05:35
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Marriage prevents you to get easy rid of someone you dont like anymore. Why would you agree to such a contract? As long as you love each other there is no problem with marriage ... but well there isnt any problem being together without marriage.
As soon as the relationship isnt going so well anymore the trouble begins while married vs. it being a lesser problem while being not married.
Marriage is essentialy preventing the partners from breaking up too fast. Its a hassle cost money etc.
If you are the one wanting to break up you wont be happy to be married.
If your partner is the one wanting to break up... he may wont leave you simply cose its not practical, not cose he loves you so much. Instead of breaking up like he would do with normal relationships he is just going to have affairs... There you have your potential for distrust...
Absolut Important for trust in any relationship is that each party can end it at any time without too much practical downsides (well apart from loosing the partner) or hassle. (Unless you want to keep your partner hostage).
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DanielXY
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Germany
Dec 2002
time: 05:35
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Of course when you meet someone new and you stay together for some time you always hear your girlfriend say "We gonna stay together forever! :X", just to leave you a month later....
You can think well this time all will change, this time all will be perfect. This girl is going to stay with me forever....
How many relationship do ppl. have around per year? How many of them thought this is going to last forever, and it was over bevore the year was gone? How many stayed together 10+ years? 1-2% at most?
What makes you special? Why do you think the most likly statistical outcome (you will break up), doesnt apply to you? Dont be ignorant to reality.
Ok that was a tad bitter. But thats how it works, most relationships are doomed.
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Rex Little
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If you're raising kids, getting married is the right thing to do. Kids are better off with both parents, and marriage does increase the odds of keeping the home together. Plus if you do split up, the father has a better chance of keeping contact with the kids if it's a divorce, rather than a cohabitation breakup.
If no kids are involved, avoid marriage like the plague. (I say this to men; I won't presume to give advice to women.) If you feel you must get married, live together first. And not for just a few months--I recommend three years minimum. I've been married twice; in both cases, it was happy to begin with, but within three years I knew it was a bad idea. The first one cost me a lot more to get out of than it would have if we'd stayed single, and I'm still in the second only because of what it would cost to leave. Between marriages I had a girlfriend I lived with; we got engaged but never set a date, and by the time we'd lived together for two years we knew marriage would never work. (Don't ask me why I didn't apply the lesson learned to the next woman I got involved with; we grow too soon old and too late smart.)
Dissident - not all American women are gold-diggers. When she was much younger, my wife was married to a guy who became a multi-millionaire while they were together. When they divorced he was willing to give her a generous settlement, but she refused to take a dime!
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MRT144
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Seattle Washington
Oct 2002
time: 21:35
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ben, this gives less time to plan the wedding, and hence a cheaper wedding
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Apolyton Time is 00:35. |
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21-04-2004 07:22
, is proving impossible.
It's all about the love, Brother Daniel. 
to find the prince(ss). 
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