14-07-2005 19:27									#31
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Spiff is correct. I did drink last night, but it was free beer from my friends. I could afford a six pack or two right now, but not really.. but I mean I COULD go and buy but I can't afford it considering the things I need to purchase, it's not on my priority at all.

I'm going to do some BBQ:ing now.. to my friends house who set up my party yesterday it's cool because there's left overs and stuff so we can bbq those and I still get them free so I don't have to pay anything It's kind of stupid though.. working man.. all this stuff is a bit humiliating to me. But when it comes to best of my friends, I don't give a crap about the humiliation and they don't either so it's all good and I thank my lucky stars I have such good friends.

SuperCitizen OUT!

Thanks for listening. Now I can delay manslaughter with another week

	14-07-2005 19:32									#32
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I'm sorry to hear all this Pekka. The things that you mentioned really are a big deal.

Here's some tips that might help.

1) Move out (you already know that one).

2) If you can't move out take care or your important stuff (storage or something).

3) When your dad does ****ed up things like forgets your b-day don't try not to be angry. Think about it. It's natural and you can't stop it.

4) Be grateful for other things in your life that you have besides a good father. This will keep you from getting too mad.

5) Accept the fact that your father has some problems and that you can't help him.

6) Don't try to change your father. It will drive you crazy.

7) Make a list of good qualities that your father has. This will help prevent you from making him out to be worse than he is.

8) Don't take what he does personally. If he forgets your b-day that says something about him. Not you.

9) This might not be necessary, but make a list of all the good qualities that SuperCitizen has.

	14-07-2005 19:40									#33
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Cheers, Pekka

	14-07-2005 20:38									#34
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good ranting at least! Makes me feel better

	14-07-2005 20:42									#35
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I am anxious, because the reason for being pissed off number 4 is missing, probably because it was so horrible that it was censored by the mods in order to protect our sensitivity.

	14-07-2005 20:55									#36
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quote: I just want to get out of here. I want to live and not wait.

Seems this is the root of many problems. You want to come out to the USA? You should take up your mom's offer when work is slow, and start to make plans to move. I'm serious here Pekka, because a change of scenery will do you good, especially, if you aren't the one bearing the burden.

The second thing I can't figure out, if you have an empty apartment, and yet plenty of prized possessions, why are they sitting in your dad's house, and not in your apartment. If it's been that way for 2 years, why haven't you taken all your stuff out?

	14-07-2005 21:07									#37
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quote: Originally posted by Spiffor It's pretty normal, but that your father threw out your stuff, including dear souvenirs, without frigging asking you does suck largely. And that one isn't normal at all.

Yeah, he knew what he was doing. How big does that red flag need to be?

	14-07-2005 21:14									#38
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Happy Birthday Pekka



If my parents did something like that I don´t know what I would do, something really bad probably. You

	14-07-2005 21:20									#39
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Yeah, I would have totally kicked my father's ass if I was you. That wasn't lame, it was just hateful.

Slap a big sign on his door that says, "Get help now!"

	14-07-2005 22:17									#40
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guess what? nobody cares. deal.

	15-07-2005 00:20									#41
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No I don't live in here. I'm here to visit. Since I had my b-day and my friends in here wanted to throw me a party, I came here for two days. That's why I'm here. But I moved last summer out from my place to this new place, and in between I lived the summer back at home. So all the stuff I brought back here. I haven't yet had the opportunity to move all my stuff back to my place, and thus my property got brutalized. All of it. I'm just.. it was all my stuff damn it. I don't have stuff anymore. Everything is gone, including my passport, my military passport, important records like that are all gone. I don't even want to think all the stuff that is gone because I'm sure I don't want to get pissed off about it anymore than I already am.

So no I don't live with my dad.

And it's stupid because he is like that, when he cleans that is. His idea of cleaning is to trhow everything out he considers to be unused. Too bad he didn't ask me about anything.

About forgetting my b-day, he didn't forget it. He just couldn't say happy b-day. THat's the type of a person he is. I KNOW he remembered, and I know he cares for me but he is just that stuck up. You know this type only if you are Finnish. So most of you can 't understand it but I bet every Finn on this board knows what I'm talking about. It's stupid, really. I don't blame him for these things even if I kind of do.. but.. yeah.. he didn't mean anything bad by all this though.

Theben, no it doesn't work that way.. you can't argue with him, since it's always my fault. I mean it's not OUR fault if we both screw up, it's my fault. And even if it's only his fault, it's still my fault. He doesn't really think it's MY fault but he can't take any **** at all so that's his way to argue about it. I'm bad at taking critique too but jeesh I'm not THAT bad, even though I am bad.

Kid, he IS a good father and my hero. Sometimes I just lose all my marbles with him, like with these things. I have learned not to argue about it though. It'll only mean we don't talk to each other until I break up the ice. I just shut up and say OK and walk away. Because I am bad at taking critique too so if I'm blamed for something that I took the hit for and it was not my fault at all but the accuser did it clearly, that just makes me so mad I want to wrestle and box right there. So I just try to stay calm, walk away and scream later on about it and spend the angry energy and try to forgive as soon as possible.

And this is why I hated the fact that my mom run off with some other dude, because she at least was the stabilizing factor, doing the cleaning because he is so bad at it like I just explained etc. And cooking and stuff.. because the idea for cooking to my dad is he boils one potato and eats it and that's it. It's not that I Have to eat it, it's just that I don't like him eating like that when he is getting old too, he needs proper food.

And if this was someone else than my dad, there would be hell to pay doing this. Someone would throw out all my property and possessions, it wouldn't go by with me saying 'oh ok well you should have asked because there was importnat stuff' and then walkign away. No no.. I would be very angry and not hiding it.

Ben, I am not sitting in my dads house. My place is empty because I have not yet had the opportunity to get stuff like chair and table etc because I can not afford those things. I have actively looked used stuff and there have been few times when there has been something I could have afforded but in those cases I wasn't able to get them because someone else already did. So I try very hard but it's just difficult in here sometimes. Used stuff is freaking expensive in here. Good deals are hard to come by and I have so little money that .. it just hasn't worked out yet but I'm trying, it's not like I love living in a place where there are no places to sit.. It's stupid to invite friends over because all they can do is stand in an empty floor. But I try hard and there will be a day when it happens.. just has taken a bit long and I'm getting tired of checking out prices, trying to make 20 euros here and there. Yes I'd like to move but I need to graduate first. That's how I know I'll take few years at least of the 8 months of darkness and stuff and it makes me .. like a diesel machine. Just living day by day and hanging on. I can't take the darkness anymore, it's worse every year.. every year I take it worse. Just tired all the time. Not interested in things and stuff.. and YES I eat right and work out. Except well not right now but like last winter and stuff I did, doesn't help, or it would get even worse if I didn't, I don't know but I can't take it anymore. I've spent most of my natural life in dark and that's a fact. In fact I have only spent like 3 months a year in light. It's not enough for me anymore, my energy levels go down and it's just depressing and suicidial in the long run so I don't want to be here anymore and that's not the ONLY reason I want to get out.. it's one of the reasons that doesn't insult anyone else.

And I don't want to call it quits with my dad because he has gotten the raw deal for so long now that I won't turn my back on him even if he makes these little mistakes. It pisses me off, but at the end of the day... well in this case at the end of the week I would regret it so better just suck it up.....

	15-07-2005 00:58									#42
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quote: Originally posted by C0ckney he's pissed off about some small things

I knew I could rely on you

	15-07-2005 14:09									#43
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i'd be mad to pass up an opportunity for some comedy gold like that

	15-07-2005 14:16									#44
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attention whore.

	15-07-2005 14:16									#45
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when I'm pissed I just try to think of some starving kid in africa and the fact I have no right to be angry.

it never works though . then I feel guilty for being angry. Then I feel even more angry. And that anger builds more anger...

	15-07-2005 14:21									#46
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.

Attachment: overkill.gif
This has been downloaded 50 time(s).

	15-07-2005 15:12									#47
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WOW! Great smilie!

	15-07-2005 15:18									#48
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man, you don't see people so pissed off they forget a number 4 very often

	15-07-2005 16:23									#49
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Pekka, I really feel for you. Your dad seem to have some serious issues. I think you need to get away and get a change of scenery. Can you move to the states and stay with your mom (does she live in the states btw?) while you´re looking for a place to stay and a job? Or is this out of the question?

	15-07-2005 16:31									#50
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quote: Originally posted by Ninot How about we organize an Apolyton Charity called "Get Pekka a sofa"

Hey Pekka, I have a spare sofa in the garage. Do you want it?

	15-07-2005 16:44									#51
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quote: Originally posted by Dr Zoidberg Pekka, I really feel for you. Your dad seem to have some serious issues. I think you need to get away and get a change of scenery. Can you move to the states and stay with your mom (does she live in the states btw?) while you�re looking for a place to stay and a job? Or is this out of the question?

Agreed. The last thing you should be doing right now is ranting here on Apolyton. The first thing you should be doing is getting out of this situation.

	15-07-2005 16:49									#52
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I wouldn´t say it´s the last thing he should do. It´s only good to get some things off your chest. If you keep it all bottled up you might explode or go into a state of near fatal depression. And we wouldn´t want that, now would we?

	15-07-2005 16:52									#53
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I'd say get some antidepressants and hope to climb that slippery pole...it doesn't sound like you are being paid particularly well. And avoid your father. Let him come to you if he has the faculties to do so...

	15-07-2005 16:56									#54
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quote: Originally posted by Dr Zoidberg I wouldn�t say it�s the last thing he should do. It�s only good to get some things off your chest. If you keep it all bottled up you might explode or go into a state of near fatal depression. And we wouldn�t want that, now would we?

He can still channel that emotion into constructive energy to get out of this rut.

	15-07-2005 17:01									#55
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Yes, of course. But ranting and doing something about it isn´t mutaually exclusive.

	15-07-2005 17:31									#56
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Happy Birthday Pekka.

It may be too late, but have you considered going to the local junk yard(where the rubbish trucks take your trash). Maybe you can rescue some of your stuff.

I did it once when i threw out a brand new birthday watch(still in its box). Went to the local depot and after about 2 hours of rather nasty sifting through rubbish found the thing

Still if this happend a while ago to you, you might not be so lucky?

	15-07-2005 17:55									#57
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Oops, I forgot. Happy belated b-day, Pekka!

	15-07-2005 19:28									#58
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quote: Originally posted by Provost Harrison I'd say get some antidepressants and hope to climb that slippery pole...

boo!

	15-07-2005 19:49									#59
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quote: Originally posted by Pekka Kid, he IS a good father and my hero.

I'm sure he has some good qualities. But he also has some bad qualities, and his behavior is abusive. You shouldn't take the abuse. Throwing out people's personal belongings is serious and damaging. Forgeting your child's birthday is also very damaging (even if you just don't say it, which is probably worse). The first thing you have to do is accept that. And then you can help yourself.

	15-07-2005 20:47									#60
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But pekka is hardly a child. If it makes him feel better i stopped getting present after my 21st birthday(which i dont mind).
Still chucking stuff out ON his birthday seems a bit nasty. I wonder if he has been telling him for years to move the stuff out?
Go to the rubbish dump pekka - rescue what you can, dont be too proud to go through the trash.
I'd be seriously pissed if my folks did throw out my stuff without warning me.