19-08-2005 21:04									#31
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You know, it's only when I read the second one that I realised it was a joke...

	19-08-2005 21:21									#32
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New York: The world greatest city. Plus some other stuff.

Massachusetts:Not as liberal as you think

Colorado: Swoosh!!

Maryland: Pass the mallet

Virginia: The New Jersey of the South

	20-08-2005 00:08									#33
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Texas: Pass the mullet

	20-08-2005 00:10									#34
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Washington: A Starbuck Corporate State

	20-08-2005 00:10									#35
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quote: Originally posted by duke o' york Texas: Pass the mullet

You do know what Pass the mallet is a reference to?

	20-08-2005 00:11									#36
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Washington State: Will that be a tall, a grande, or a super grande?

Washington State: Where to do you want to go today?

	20-08-2005 00:12									#37
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Don't be ridiculous. I'm Yurpean.

	20-08-2005 00:13									#38
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quote: Originally posted by duke o' york Don't be ridiculous. I'm Yurpean.

and they said Maryland crabs were WORLD famous.

	20-08-2005 00:15									#39
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I don't know. I've never slept with a Marylandress.

	20-08-2005 00:25									#40
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quote: Originally posted by duke o' york I don't know. I've never slept with a Marylandress.

Yah, try hitting THOSE with a mallet, youre in deep trouble.

	20-08-2005 00:31									#41
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I've seen all of these at some point or another:

New York: F*ck you, you f*cking f*ck. (you can get NY t-shirts that say this).

Maryland: We made syphillis trendy again.

Oregon: We can't help it if serial killers seem to like trees so much.

New Jersey: Which exit do you want?

North Dakota: Canada annexed us and nobody noticed.

Louisiana: America's musty armpit.

Georgia: This state contains some people who don't believe in evolution. They claim evolution is a theory, not a fact, clearly showing they don't know what "theory" means in science. These people should be avoided when feasible, laughed at when butting in on educational standards and discouraged from further polluting the gene pool as much as possible.

	20-08-2005 00:37									#42
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quote: Originally posted by Japher West Virginia: We're one big happy family. Kentucky: West Virginia is our cousin.

Dammit, this is fricken hilarious!

	20-08-2005 00:44									#43
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quote: Tennessee: Thank Us for the Country Music. Smack Us Because of the Country Music.

Tennessee: Have y'all seen pictures of Sophie?!

	20-08-2005 01:58									#44
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Another list that has a few good ones.

ALABAMA: Literacy ain't everything
Ya want fries with dat?

ALASKA: Come, freeze your butt off

ARIZONA: Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds

ARKANSAS: At least we're not Mississippi

CALIFORNIA: The Granola State
Nobody's actually from here
Fast reloading lanes available
The really long state

COLORADO: Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here
Official home of the winter ski bunny

CONNECTICUT: Way too close to New York

DELAWARE: You'll need a map to find us
So close to Washington you can smell it

FLORIDA: The Gunshine State
Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans
go to die
Senior citizen discounts available
Come, enjoy the humidity
The snow capital of the US

GEORGIA: Home of the Rednecks
Gateway to Florida
Confederate money welcome

HAWAII: Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over
Book 'em Danno
Tom Selik, Jack Lord, Don Ho - Paradise!
Come, get lai-ed

IDAHO: Ain't nothing here
We don't care if you spell potato with an "e"
Land of a billion "eyes"

ILLINOIS: Land of the voting dead
Gateway to Iowa

INDIANA: Home of David Letterman

IOWA: Just east of Omaha
It's easy to spell

KANSAS: Hayfever capital of the Midwest
Dole slept here
There's no place like home
Ya want flat, we got flat

KENTUCKY: Tobacco is a vegetable
We're all related
Gateway to Nashville

LOUISIANA: Swim the beautiful Bayou
Cancer Alley's just a name, and names will
never hurt you

MAINE: For Sale
You can spit on Canada from here

MARYLAND: If it weren't for Washington, you couldn't find us

MASSACHUSETTS: Home of the young girls from Nantucket,
also the home of Ted Kennedy, hmmmm...

MICHIGAN: Land of the free, home of the Buick

MINNESOTA: Not Sweden, but we try to act like it
Sure beats Canada

MISSISSIPPI: We're lucky we can spell it
Why would you want to come here?

MISSOURI: Gateway to Kansas
Here's mine, Show Me yours
We're better than Illinois

MONTANA: Land of the Big Sky, and very little else
We've got lots of 10'x10' shacks in the woods
It's where you're wanted.
At least our cows are sane.

NEBRASKA: More corn than Kansas
Go to Kansas, turn north

NEVADA: More weirdos than Alaska (warmer too)
2 words - Death Valley
3:5 you'll leave broke
We have our own nuclear testing site

NEW HAMPSHIRE: Like Old Hampshire, only newer
About as exciting as Vermont

NEW JERSEY: You have the right to remain silent,
You have the right to an attorney...
Tell 'em Guido sent ya

NEW MEXICO: Lizards make excellent pets
We have reservations
Alien Welcome Center - Roswell

NEW YORK: At least we're not New Jersey!
We're more than a big city; we're a state
Like we CARE about a motto
English spoken here; sometimes

NORTH CAROLINA: Five million people; Fifteen last names
We're bigger than South Carolina

NORTH DAKOTA: The OTHER South Dakota

OHIO: Don't judge us by Cleveland
Proud polluters of Lake Erie
We're easy to spell

OKLAHOMA: We're OK, you're NOT!
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto

OREGON: As pretty as California but not as weird
We're not named after a musical instrument
You can see the sunset from here

PENNSYLVANIA: Cook with coal
Free lub job with oil change

RHODE ISLAND: Size ain't everything
Nobody famous came from Rhode Island

SOUTH CAROLINA: Just south of North Carolina

SOUTH DAKOTA: Closer than North Dakota

TENNESSEE: The Educashun State
Thank goodness we've still got Elvis
A great fixer-upper

TEXAS: Si Hablo Ingles
See, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!

UTAH: Our Jesus is better than your Jesus
At least our sheep can't talk

VERMONT: Bet ya can't name 2 of our towns

VIRGINIA: Please don't confuse us with West Virginia!

WASHINGTON: We like our state, so STAY OUT!

WEST VIRGINIA: Where "family values" has a different meaning

WISCONSIN: Land of funny accents.
Say "Cheeeese"

WYOMING: Where men are lonely and sheep are scared

	20-08-2005 02:02									#45
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Or from another list

Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It-Yet

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our taxes are less Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, And Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: UFO Spotting For 50 years

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney ...

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington, D.C.:Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared

	20-08-2005 05:31									#46
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quote: Originally posted by rah Another list that has a few good ones. UTAH: Our Jesus is better than your Jesus At least our sheep can't talk

Oxygen quick!!! I'm about to pass out from lack of it.. I'm laughing so hard!!

	20-08-2005 05:35									#47
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Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

now this can be so true...
when ive said i don't ski.. i get these looks..
its pretty funny

	20-08-2005 08:56									#48
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quote: Originally posted by rah Another list that has a few good ones. MAINE: For Sale You can spit on Canada from here

I am from Maine and here are a couple

Maine: Canadians, everyone oughtta own one

Maine: Only two kinds of people come from Canada, whores and Hockey players, what team does jo mamma play fer?

Maine: State Bird, The Black Fly

	20-08-2005 09:06									#49
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quote: Originally posted by Japher PH can be a little slow...

PhD

	20-08-2005 18:56									#50
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Those were some pretty funny lists, rah.

I've been thinking, I have some scans of semi-vintage "Greetings" from the different states, like the one below. They're not humorous, but quite interesting - at least to me.

If there's an interest, I could post them all here over the course of a week or so.

Attachment: sharper_50states_sw_02_pennsylvania.jpg
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	20-08-2005 19:45									#51
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sint seen those since the 60's and 70's

Attachment: hatsoff.gif
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	20-08-2005 20:20									#52
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quote: New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!