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Metaliturtle
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University of Wisconsin Stevens Point
Mar 2002
time: 23:18
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Note: This post will be the end of CGW, I've gotta start working on CGW2 which will hopefully be much better, so I've written your guys' ideas down for that. WARNING, this ending won't be nearly as funny as my other stuff I apologize in advance, but I'm getting sick of juvenile sex jokes.
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KABOOOM!! The ground in the Grecian subcontinent shook with tremendous force. The Grecian scientists had invented something terrible, they had invented the nuclear bomb.
"Commander Alexander!"
"WHAT NOW!!?" It was two a.m.
"You gotta see this! we can easily destroy our enemies with these new inventions"
"Can I impregnate them?"
"umm... no"
"put one in this bed, I need to get 'associated' with it"
"no can do sire, it's a BOMB"
"I thought it was a fembot, you suck as a messenger"
"I apologize sire, but please come now"
______________________________________
On a rather warm evening, from his lead attack chopper, Civman, Toasty, and Alexander watched as Washington was incinerated to nothing.
"Commanders!! Horrible news!!"
They all yelled in unison "WHAT NOW"
"THE ENGLISH HAVE STOLEN THE PLANS FOR THE BOMB!!!"
" GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!! "
_____________________________________
The English emmisary entered Athens with an aire of smugness, he walked up to Alexander's gigantic palace, into his throne room, and sat down on his throne.
"What does elizabeth want?"
"peace, nothing more"
"then why does she aim warheads at Greece?"
"she didn't aim them, one is here right now."
"what do you me-"
But Alexander was cut off, the messenger was only a robot with a bomb, and similar robots were now detonating throughout the entire grecian kingdom. Years later, nobody even remembered the greeks, but tales keep arising that in the polluted wilderness, patches of people calling themselves the loyal followers of Civman & Toasty are cleaning up the pollution, and constructing an empire, will it succeed? Only CGW2 will tell.
THE END
I know yall are mad at me, but CGW2 will be better, I may make an optional continuation without the bomb however, should this win the story contest
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Metaliturtle
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University of Wisconsin Stevens Point
Mar 2002
time: 23:18
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quote:
Originally posted by Metaliturtle |
quote:
yeah, I'm just really bored with this story now, and the further I get, the more limited I feel, I do have an alternative ending in store, pending a story contest win, (then the story will deserve one) otherwise CGWII should be better. Also read my U.N. Story about the deliciousness of pie, it's funny and based on some real life |
From my determination, I have won the story contest, which means a silly continuation of the Wanderings.
_______________________________________________
It was two-thirty a.m. Athens time, while most Athenians were participating in orgies, as was the custom ever since the sacrafice of the trainer, Poopsie's mom, Civman was marching north to conduct battle with the newfound English enemy, when he saw something odd on the side of the road.
"what the hell? Glowing green goop?"
"GROSS it's warm!!"
Just then there was a rustling in the bushes
"I'm Sovy Kurosei, I'm here to make you die Civman, that goop you are holding is what I'm going to call radioactive."
"Radioactive? Will it play Devil went down to Georgia?"
"NO, it will play your death toll Civman!"
"You mean, For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica, right?"
"Never mind, give me that"
Sovy ate the goop, killing himself due to Civman's unsophisticated scientific mental ability, mainly due to the fact that only the russians had the use of Uranium, so Civman didn't know what it was.
_____________________________________________
Elizabeth was startled by loud booms outside, those damn new birds were back.
"Sendeth the English Archers"
"ARCHERS TAKE YOUR PLACES!"
"READY"
"FIRE!!!"
On fire, the Grecian air fleet dropped their payloads, there literally was a fire on the English Palace, Elizabeth packed up her leather and whips and set out for York, the only other English city.
She never got there....
_____________________________________________
Meanwhile, Poopsie was still stalemated in a trench outside of the fortress that was Liepzig, he had a discussion with one of his engineers, and here's what happened.
The Liepzig guard was hearing all sorts of strange noises coming from the woods just outside of the wall, Something was up. Soon, 6 men could be seen pushing a large wooden rabbit up to the main gates. Finally some of the guards came out and pushed it into the fortress.
"Great idea Engineer, now what?"
"well.. you, lancelot, and I, wait til nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, not only catching them off guard, but toothly unarmed"
"who leaps out?"
"you.. lancelot.. and.. um..... Maybe if we built a large wooden badger"
Suddenly, a most dreadful sproing was heard, and the rabbit flew out of the castle, and killed a packhorse.
______________________________________________
Lincoln was scared, his English allies had lasted only a year, who was he going to get to offset the Grecian behemoth of war?
"Sovy Kurosei the second, of the United Soviet Socialist Republic, Mr. President."
The normal diplomatic schpeal went on, and finally there was a conclusion to the talks.
"So Catherine will use nuclear weapons if I am attacked by Civman, if I give you $10,000 a year?"
"That's the long and short of it"
"Deal"
_______________________________________________
Catherine was in Alexander's office, very impressed with the virtual monopoly on culture this place had.
"Here are the plans Alexander, have fun."
_______________________________________________
Civman had just been given the order to return to Athens
"But, Alexander, I want to fight!"
"Civman, I have a more important task for you"
Suddenly intrigued, "oh really, what is it?"
"Break in my new virgins for me, I have a bomb to construct."
"SIR YES SIR" "Let's go ladies, you heard the man"
_______________________________________________
Civman's army rolled into Washington, but Civman was not there, Abe wasn't recieving Russian support, and his colonies were turning to Greece, WITHOUT A FIGHT GRR!!!
"what can we do about all of these traitors?"
"not much sire, you are the only one pledging allegience to the flag of the United States of America today. Praise the GRECIAN EMPIRE" The attendent, Chuck, drew his pistol and fired it through Abe's head, America was no more.
________________________________________________
"ALEXANDER!! GREAT NEWS!!"
"Whathafuciszzat?" He was "excercising" again.
"With our new knowledge of fusion, we can put our spaceship into outer space."
"WOOHOO, I'm gonna lay a MARTIAN!"
"Actually, NO, you are going to Alpha Centauri to begin a new colony there."
"That means breeding right?"
"yes sire"
"Then sign me up, I'm ready for some space sex!!!"
And so, the intrepid Grecians depart for yet another crazed wandering, this time to a distant galaxy, will they make it? Nobody knows.....
THE END
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Commander Steve
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Of the Nation of Retarded Weasels
May 2002
time: 23:18
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You really gotta write another comedy Metaliturtle, I'm loving this to death.
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24-04-2002 20:23
!
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