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St Leo
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Member of the Apolyton Social Democratic Party
Jul 2005
time: 00:20
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[Transcription of 1-900-CHESSXX.]
"...Dial 512 to accept these charges and continue"
[Beat. Beep-boop-bop.]
[Ring. Ring.]
"Hi there. I'm Edith."
"...I'm Paul."
E: Mmmmm, Paul. I like that name. Wasn't Murphy's first name Paul.
P: Oh YES.
E: Tell me...how long have you played chess?
P: S-since I was eleven.
E: Want to tell me about your first time.
P: W-well, I don't know. It was with my father. He didn't play all that well. I started beating him not long after that.
E: Want to hear about my first time?
P: Oh yeah, tell me about your first time, Edith. How old were you?
E: My first time was at the tender age of fourteen.
P: Really?
E: Yessss. Before then, I hardly knew the names of the pieces.
P: How well do you play now?
E: Oh, better than you, probably.
P, excited: Really?
E: Yes, I'm a genius you know. Want to hear about my first time?
P: Yes, tell me about it.
E: My sister's friend was over. He was a Geek. Are you a geek, Paul?
P: Yes, yes, I am.
E: I love geeks. They excite me. My sister's friend was the first geek I met. He introduced me to Linux. He also taught me chess.
P: You use Linux?
E: Well, technically it's not Linux, I use my own kernel.
P: You kernel-hack?
E. I guess you could call it that...
P: What do you mean?
E: Well I don't bother with Torvalds's source-tree.
P: Oh, Edith. Tell me what you do.
E: I mess with kernel directly.
P: mmmm.
E: Oh, it gets very messy. Straight assembly. Pur hex.
P: Oh-ooh. Tell me about your sister's friend.
E: He taught me chess. By the end of the first hour I was seeing three, four moves ahead of him. By the time I was seventeen, four years ago, I was placing in the nationals.
P: Oh, man. Are you really that good?
E: Want to try me?
P: e2?
E. d5 Paul.
[rest censored]
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St Leo
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Member of the Apolyton Social Democratic Party
Jul 2005
time: 00:20
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A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5.11. Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Programmer, now some what agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50! This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Programmer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The Engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Programmer. Now, it's the Engineer's turn. He asks the Programmer "Why won't Markos give Leo a db?"
The Programmer looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail. After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. The Programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks "Well, so what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Programmer $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.
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11-07-2002 05:12
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