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Ecthy
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Zhonghuà Rénmín Gònghéguó
Mar 2000
time: 06:21
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very small rocks? possibly, but the final answer would be "cold duck" or something like that
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bigvic
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Columbia, S.C.
Nov 2001
time: 00:21
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trust....yeah, i'm not even really thinking about that.
by the way, i have experience w/ distance relationships, pre internet (for me - i was a late comer to this)
met my ex in costa rica, fell head over heels in luv, caught in that "happily ever after - this is the solution to all my problems - she's perfect" idiocy. i had to return to states to fulfill a contract to teach (1st real job), and a year and a half later and $7000+ in phone bills, airline tickets and stamps found myself teaching in costa rica, married and catholic. in that year and a half, by the way, i was 100% faithful to her, not even putting myself in tempting situations. when i was finally with her, i blabbed about my past too much (having done questionable things   in my wild college days) and she got jealous of my past, did not believe i had been faithful, and from then on, despite heroic effort, the marriage proceeded to suck more every year until it became unbearable. i ain't perfect, see a lot of stupid things i did, said, but was always faithful, put her through school while working a job i hated, on the understanding that when she got out i could have some breathing room to change careers, and then she left to go live with her gay friends in florida. *****. sorry.
now i'm a buddhist, single, trying to get my life together and think i'm doing a good job of it. know what i want to do for the first time in my life, and how to go about doing it. so why am i falling in love with a distant mexican woman? masochistic pattern? desire to relive a part of my life i admit i partially scewed up and do it right? just an idiot? perhaps.
but then i've learned a thing or two, and a lot about human nature and this woman actually shares many interests with me. unlike my ex, is a fascinating conversationalist with interests in more than just dancing, buying clothes and critisizing others. i feel a truly kindred spirit, though its too early to really know. i see something in her eyes....you know?
don't mean to compare her w/ ex, but kind of hard not too - human thought functions largely on comparisons and this is especially unavoidable. think i would be a real certifiable fool not too. some took exception to my saying earlier that i had prospects near me, but seriously folks, i'm not getting any younger and based on my experience i think i would be a fool not to consider options, esp. considering the tenuous nature of my current conundrum.
crap, meant to close this thread today, but i think i need some more on line therapy - just writing this out and recieving feedback from strangers feels great. i'm trying to get back in grad school - psychology. maybe an online shrink service would be cool one day...hmmm....
anyway, i'll leave this open, seems to be entertaining to some, at least, maybe making some friends by vivisecting my soul this way - maybe just vivisecting my soul
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14-08-2002 19:28
phone bill). man, i am crazy. 
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