20-12-2002 15:25									#31
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

Ah, bollocks. Makes me wish I'd turned up for work.

Think I'll go for the mugging and faux glandular fever relapse, any ideas how to induce something that I could pass off as g/f?

	20-12-2002 15:35									#32
	Inflate your Upload Space

It's just tiredness so no symptoms to fake really.

Tired mentally, muscles feel tired after not doing much physical.

	20-12-2002 15:46									#33
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

I know about Glandular fever, I was hospitalised with it for ****s sakes!

It also Involves swelling of the lymph glands as well as lethargy and possible liver inflammation --I've had dark urine recently, so maybe I can use that in my favor

	20-12-2002 15:48									#34
	Re: Quickly: How to get a mild case of food poisoning? Suffering from ads?

quote: Originally posted by Evil Knevil I need to get a sick note so I can be excused for missing a tonne of work (and not get sacked). I figure if I go to the doctor with a mild (but obvious) sickness she'll 'realise' I'm recovering from something and give me a sick note, saving my ass. Only problem is, how to get sick without risking my life? I suffer severe toxic reactions to samonella, so thats probably out..... Anything milder? Eggs? Running in the rain? gunpowder? cigarettes? Please help!! Seriously, think of ways to hurt me!

wot?

are you working in chaushesku quarters?!


just tell'em you're sick.

what r they gonna do ask for a doctors note?

really?

	20-12-2002 15:52									#35
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

quote: Originally posted by Evil Knevil I know about Glandular fever, I was hospitalised with it for ****s sakes! It also Involves swelling of the lymph glands as well as lethargy and possible liver inflammation --I've had dark urine recently, so maybe I can use that in my favor

I've had it too. I'm just talking about what it's like when you feel a bit of a relapse.

	20-12-2002 15:52									#36
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

Yes, they will. Isn't that normal practice in other countries? I forget the UK is nicknamed "The sweatshop of Europe".

	20-12-2002 15:58									#37
	Suffering from ads?

quote: Originally posted by Evil Knevil Yes, they will. Isn't that normal practice in other countries? I forget the UK is nicknamed "The sweatshop of Europe".

well i can get a day's off work if i want to, with no doctor's note

even two sometimes.


but we have a kick ass relationship with the management. they know we are crazy but they know we'll get the job done

so...

we are 3 working at my department and we are good friends so one will take up the job of the other if there is need for one "to be someplace else."

	20-12-2002 16:01									#38
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

unless of course we're talking about the (greek) public sector where you have to be there everyday (and do nothing)

	20-12-2002 16:01									#39
	Increase Your PM Length

If you have more than 5 days off they can ask for a doctors note, in fact they have to by law. Less than that and you don't need one (I think)

	20-12-2002 16:04									#40
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

Evil Knevil -

If you would stop posting at poly and start working, you could get the job done, and not be sick...

	20-12-2002 16:06									#41
	Put an end to popups!

or just post from work

	20-12-2002 16:06									#42
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

I still say stress is the best way...I've missed so much work because of stress.

	20-12-2002 16:12									#43
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

bah, just **** it all and do the job

or if you cant/wont, think of an excuse (they'll know its fake) and risk it (for losing your job)

	20-12-2002 17:44									#44
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

if you got mugged, go to the doctor and tell him that you've been afraid to go out of the house and that seeing him today was the first time since you got mugged. get him to give you something to calm you down and use both the police and the doctor to back you up at work.

	20-12-2002 19:52									#45
	Tired of ads?

Was not the military maligerer trcik to eat some gunpowder; I believe it was the potassium nitrate therin that did the trick.

	20-12-2002 20:07									#46
	Increase the size of your Attachments

*blinks* are you retarded??

eat a bunch of jalapenos,,,I mean a LOT..give yourself severe indigestion...nasuea, the runs...


dont give yourself food poisoning, ya moron.

You shouldnt have missed work in the first place, slacker..you SHOULD be canned.

	20-12-2002 20:32									#47
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

quote: Originally posted by FrustratedPoet If you die be sure to post here and let us know.

you kill me, FP (no pun intended!)

	20-12-2002 20:34									#48
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

tell 'em you were anally raped at gunpoint by a horde of recently released convicts! Now THAT'S a traumatic event!

	20-12-2002 20:51									#49
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

The voice of experience there.

	20-12-2002 21:02									#50
	Inflate your Upload Space

Yeep.

	20-12-2002 21:38									#53
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

Just curious but didn't you have to call in to say you wouldn't be in at the time or are you just trying to set something up for some planned future absence ??

	20-12-2002 21:40									#54
	Full PM-box? Change here!

You can
1. beat yourselfe with a hammer in the forehead threetimes pr hour(always works)
2. draw a cigarette throug a tail pipe and the next day eat a suger nugget that has been wetted in gas, this way you'l get a 40°c heat
3.do all the other things posted here

	20-12-2002 22:19									#55
	Support Apolyton

Tell your doctor you have these symtoms:

- vomiting
- diarrhea
- mild fever (now recessed)
- very, very stiff and sore muscles
- sore throat

I had food poisoning before, but it wouldn't last a whole week.

	20-12-2002 22:27									#56
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

quote: Originally posted by Evil Knevil How about using raw chicken as a pacifier?

We call them dummies here young man!

Do you have any allergies? Exacerbate it! Otherwise I don't know...

	20-12-2002 22:29									#57
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

Maybe you should have gone to work.

	20-12-2002 22:29									#58
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

Don't bother making yourself ill. Just put a pair of underpants on your head, stick a pencil up each nostril and answer any question with the word 'wubble'.

	20-12-2002 22:58									#59
	Remove this text

my vote's for the Clear Skies method!

	21-12-2002 00:54									#60
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

This thread's a riot