23-12-2002 18:20									#31
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"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I thought you were a woman!"

"I am."

	23-12-2002 18:30									#32
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IW -

that is embarassing....

	23-12-2002 21:09									#33
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quote: Originally posted by Immortal Wombat "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I thought you were a woman!" "I am."

Ladies and Gentlemen ... we have a winner!

	23-12-2002 21:12									#34
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Three I remember in particular.

1. First date with a girl I really like. Just to make conversation I ask here what is the first thing she remembers in her life. I remember writing on the walls with crayon. She remembers her sister. Who died at age 5.

2. First day on a new job, working for a VP in the organization. There's all this strange looking modern art on the walls. Chatting with the VP and his secretary, the topic of the art on the walls comes up. I asked where we get all this "art". It looks like something out of a New Yorker cartoon. Utter silence. Turns out the VP paints this stuff in his spare time. Took me years to recover from that one.

3. Proof that a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. Travelling in Germany, I tried to practice my German as much as possible. There is a beautiful fraulein working the desk of the gasthaus I am about to check into.

AS: Haben sie ein zimmer?
BF: Ya, wir haben ein zimmer.
AS: Was kostet das zimmer?
BF: 60 dm
AS: Gut. Ich wuchte sie fur drei nacht bitte.
BF: (Blushing deeply): I speak English.

	23-12-2002 21:17									#35
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quote: Originally posted by Adam Smith AS: Haben sie ein zimmer? BF: Ya, wir haben ein zimmer. AS: Was kostet das zimmer? BF: 60 dm AS: Gut. Ich wuchte sie fur drei nacht bitte. BF: (Blushing deeply): I speak English.

	23-12-2002 21:25									#36
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Not really goof up but somewhat funny.

Me at an airport in Frankfurt on a transit flight to Athens.

Went to an airport store to buy some boxes of cigarettes cheap.

I get some boxes and go to pay for them at the cash office(?)

The lady there absolutely refuses to accept them and keeps pointing to one of the boxes.

I tried speaking english, she didnt understand
french the same... she just kept speaking german (which i dont undertand)

I say again and again what is she talking about? these are my boxes of cigs i want to pay for them and be on my way.

nope absolute break down of communication.

She was stuborn
I was stuborn

I get pissed off and say in the air "gamo to diavolo mou gamo" (fack my devil fack - popular greek curse)


She relpies (in greek) : oh you're greek




you only have a right to buy two untaxed boxes of cigs in transit flights

	23-12-2002 21:33									#37
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quote: I noticed this, of course, but true to form (I'm sorta the guy that can take anything someone says and say something much, much worse) I responded with an even worse racial joke, naturally about Hispanics.

those guys shoulda have kicked your A$$.















I'm not kidding.

	23-12-2002 21:37									#38
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quote: I get pissed off and say in the air "gamo to diavolo mou gamo" (fack my devil fack - popular greek curse)

back when I used to work at Celebration Station (a family fun center) there were a LOT of hispanics that would come in (and couldnt speak english)..I guess i managed to tick off a few every once in a while (not on purpose, only because they wanted to have their cake and eat it too it..and they wanted us to bake it, ya know?)

anyway.....there were few times when they'd mumble in spanish something nasty about me, or to me...and grin cuz they thought I didnt understand (this white girl camoflauge rawks ballz) and I'd come back to them and say "te entiendo perfectamente" (I understand you perfectly). and just to see their jaws drops, or their eyes bug, made anything they said go away.

	23-12-2002 21:46									#39
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Similar story about a high school classmate of mine. She is jewish, pretty good looking, and studied Japanese in college. She was the only woman on a business trip to Japan. They were there for a week. The male Japanese manager types were making all kinds of off color comments about her, in Japanese of course. She said nothing. Last night there, they have a going away dinner, and all the Americans gave speeches in English thanking their hosts. She thanked her hosts, politely, in perfect Japanese.

edit: typos

Last edited by Adam Smith on 23-12-2002 at 21:54

	23-12-2002 21:47									#40
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^^ ooOOooo..I bet THEy felt cruncccchhyyyy (stupid)

	23-12-2002 21:49									#41
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crunchy?

	23-12-2002 21:51									#42
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I puot in parentheses (stupid)

crunchy-the feeling you get when you have put your foot in your mouth, feeling stupid, silly...DOHH!!!

the feeling of wanting to crawl under a large rock, or crawling into a big dark hole where noone will ever see you..

DOH

	23-12-2002 21:59									#43
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Ich wuchte sie fur drei nacht bitte.


Little help?

I something something for 3 nights please?

Last edited by Garth Vader on 23-12-2002 at 22:04

	23-12-2002 22:05									#44
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Okay, I know that Pande might kill me for this, but it's my problem then.

Pandemoniak was out to for drinks with some people and a professor of the university his studing at was there too. In a rather somber mood after drinking a bottle bourbon, he had said "Hang the capitalist!" regarding this professor.

	23-12-2002 22:21									#45
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quote: Originally posted by Garth Vader Ich wuchte sie fur drei nacht bitte. Little help? I something something for 3 nights please?

I would like "you" (the clerk) for three nights, instead of "it" (the room) for three nights.

	23-12-2002 22:32									#46
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i was young..don't laugh....

"how did they get the wings off the buffalos?"...in reference to buffalo wings

	23-12-2002 22:34									#47
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how old were you? 3 I hope

probably 18 huh?

	23-12-2002 23:18									#48
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Ok this is a real story.

At Brussels there was a celebration by the director of the General De Bank (the national bank of Belgium) in honour of the Greek immigrants who lived there (since most of them put their money in that bank).

Actually it was a national holiday of Greece that was celebrated and the director had planned to come and thank them for "trusting their money with our bank" etc

The archibishop of the Greek church in Belgium was also there.


So the archbishop says some words in the microphone welcoming the director of the bank.

The director comes to the podium and loudly and happily/friendly says to the archbishop: " Thank you w@nker!!!"

("Merci malakas" which in greek means w@nker)


The Greeks who were listening in the big room froze!!!! As did the archbishop!!!


Turns out the driver of the director was greek and he used this word (malakas) a lot of times when talking to friends etc

(which is true you can say malakas and it's like friend or man or something not offensive, when talking to a friend - but NOT when talking to a stranger, then its a insult)

so the director thought (logically) that malakas means "friend" and thought it would be a nice thing to say to the congregation


The director fired his driver after that incident

Last edited by Bereta_Eder on 23-12-2002 at 23:25

	24-12-2002 00:32									#49
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quote: Originally posted by Odin I told a classmate that Creationists are Idiots, I forgot that our Health teacher is a funamentalist christian.

I don't see a problem there

Well if you want to see a life of thse sorts of indiscretions, look towards Prince Philip

	24-12-2002 00:37									#50
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Prince Philip is a genius

"You know they can get eating dogs for anorexics now?"

	24-12-2002 00:40									#51
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To a man in China "you'll go all slitty-eyed if you stay here too long". Prince Philipisms deserve a thread of their own

	24-12-2002 00:43									#52
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This story is dumb, but true.

I was sitting in an office with my best bud (a black dude, it's pertinent to the tale), and he was saying that because he's black, he can't get an appointment with certain doctors.
We argue this for a bit, so i tell him to call one, and to make sure he doesn't sound black (He has a bit of a Southern accent and a deep voice, Barry White like).
He agrees, dials, and then yells into the phone:
Is this heah a Doctor office????

	24-12-2002 01:55									#53
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quote: Originally posted by devilmunchkin i was young..don't laugh.... "how did they get the wings off the buffalos?"...in reference to buffalo wings

That reminds me:

When I just got my first pc (long time ago), I didn't know much about cd's and such, so I puzzled asked, how they managed to inset the cd into the printer, so the printer could print the covers

Just as I said it, I realized how it was done, and I quickly managed, to turn my serious question, into a joke question (so the one I asked, didn't hear it as a serious question...)

	24-12-2002 02:15									#54
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That is a silly question. It could have been curtains for your respect if you hadn't realised quickly...

	24-12-2002 06:38									#55
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I meant to say to my wife: 'Please pass the pepper, honey"

But it came out: "You really f**ked up my life, b***ch!"

Last edited by Lefty Scaevola on 24-12-2002 at 06:44

	24-12-2002 06:50									#56
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Lefty:

	24-12-2002 07:14									#57
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Lets see...

I needed help with my classwork so I said to my female teacher...

"Mom, can you help me with this?"

I said it so loud the whole class heard me and started cracking up.....my teacher as well.

	24-12-2002 07:18									#58
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Another one:

I went to get my midterm for my psych class a coupla semesters ago. Anyway, I saw a girl I knew and asked her...

"So, How well are your t**s?"

Instead of "So, how well are your TEST scores?"

Needless to say, she hasn't spoken to me since.

	24-12-2002 07:39									#59
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Once on TA exercises a whole group of us had to brainstorm a problem, so I said that we should all have a mass debate about it...

	24-12-2002 08:53									#60
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It ain't exactly a goof up, but I still can't belive I said it, and I hope I won't suffer from it.


My class room teacher is very annoying and pries into student's bussiness and private lives, often too much.

I certainly felt that way, when she saw me hugging my girl friend between classes when she passed me by, and she stood up next to me and asked something like: "oh, siro, and who is she?"

I was furious - who she thinks she is? my friend? I wanted her to feel badly out of place.

So I answer in a clear voice: "this is (gf's name) MOMMY" and I wait with a face full of contempt, showing it was a cynical remark.

My class room teacher was... I can't describe the look on her face, but she was stunned. (so was my gf btw).

And then after letting her suffer that breef second, I quickly add a smile and a smirk, as I was joking with her. She has no choise but to act the same way to save her dignity, and laughed and quickly went away.

I just hope she won't affect my grades for the worse now. In any case, she won't ever be too friendly to me.