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Smash
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Civ2 Diehard
Jul 1999
time: 21:12
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oops..should have waited for Scouse..sorry.
Scandal Rocks Perfection City
Government corruption finally brought down the old Republic.In what is being called “Buffalo Gate”,government corruption was seen at it’s worst.It was learned that government officials, acting on behalf of the Consul, have been skimming millions and using it almost extensively to support the prostitutes of Buffalo Girl’s.Wild tales of drug and alchohol induced orgies are emerging daily.The apparent aim of this gross waste was to make a personal playground for the Consul,top officials and visiting dignitaries.
Massive protest has followed the shocking revelations.Millions across the empire took to the streets to call for the removal of the Consul.
Senate Oust’s Consul
In an expected move,the Senate passed a resolution to immediately remove the Consul.The move was passed by a vote of 99-1.Only the Vice Consul voted nay.
The Senate also passed legislation authorizing a complete investigation into Buffalo Gate.A committee was approved and the process of subpeona began.
Elections Announced
Bowing to public pressure,the Senate announced free elections would be held taking that final step towards Democracy.Several prominent citizens have emerged as Presidential contenders including the great,great,great,great grandson of the legendary Smashazuma.
Known only as Hank,he confirmed that he had been approached by the Democratic National Libertarian Republican Conservative Liberal Party and would most likely accept the nomination.
Hank Wins!!
After a bitter 3 day campaign made possible by the new SoL voting machine,Hank won the Presidency handily.Following all the polls,the Democratic National Libertarian Republican Conservative Liberal candidate swept into power with a huge 527 electoral college vote victory while capturing 67% of the popular vote.
Hank:
“I’m honored and privileged.Lets have a holiday!Lets have a month of holidays!!Go party and make babies”
Population Explodes in Perfection City
Apparently the citizens of the capitol took the new leader’s words to heart as census results reported the city’s population had reached 2.3 million.Nationwide census yeilded 9,690,000 making us the most populace nation.
Crete Sacked by Renegades
The distant outpost was mercilessly attacked and captured by renegades led by Attilla the Hun.President Hank has pledged to end the slaughter that has plagued the nation for centuries.Special envoys were sent to various outposts to help shore up defenses.
Electricity Discovered
Governement scientists have announced the discovery of a wonderous new source of power.It is beleived that this new fuel will change the world.
President Hank Re-Elected
Capturing every Electoral College vote,the President was given a huge mandate for his 2nd term.Only the fringe Green Anti-Owl/Whale Enviromentalists managed to maintain official party status having received a surprising 12% of the popular vote.They showed strongest in the mid-west particularly Kansas.Hank’s big mega projects that were part of the week long campaign rhetoric look to be a go.Most notably the damming of the Colorado River and the Ship Chain to Germany.
Mega Project Groundbreaking
The start of construction of the Hoover Dam was marked with groundbreaking ceremonies attended by the first family and senior Interior Department officials.When completed,the dam will provide power to all cities fulfilling the new need for electricity.
Exports Up
Exports to Germany continued to drive the economy.Economists are applauding President Hank’s plan of a “ship chain”.A huge trade surplus is anticipated.
Hoover Dam Opened
2 years after work began,the dam’s hydro turbines went online without incident.Cities began to light up within the week.
Big $$ for Military
The new budget had a wopping 15% increase for the military.Every member of all the service branchs were given new equipment.The vast majority reported to be extremely pleased with the increased firepower.The only exception was the Navy,where officers were reporting continued difficulty of former ironclad crews taking to their new destroyers.Publicly they praised the new engine system and sleek new profile but privately they questioned the effectiveness of the new vessels.
Hank Assassinated
A fringe group calling itself Freedom For Oppression claimed responsibility for the blast that killed President Hank while he visited his favorite restaurant.Fortunately the restaurant was cleared for the President’s daily visit but several McDonalds employees and a secret service agent received minor injuries during the explosion.The F.B.I. confirmed the bomb was encased in a Big Mac.It was triggered by bite pressure according to Bureau experts.
“Took his head clean off”
[This message has been edited by Smash (edited January 19, 2001).]
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kcbob
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Kansas City, MO USA
Dec 1999
time: 23:12
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When in the course of human events it becomes self-evident that a people should rule
themselves and rise above all other nations, taking the position of pre-eminence in the
world, there can be no other choice than take that position, to rule the world, to become
the nation among all other nations. Such was the choice laid before our great
nation.
This was made easier by the overflowing coffers of the treasury. 8000 plus gold coins
at our disposal. And yet, let it never be forgotten that “the love of money is the root
of all evil.” Upon succeeding the beloved Hank at his death, the new leader, kcbob,
was overwhelmed by the amount of gold in his control. Add to that the fact that his
predecessor had placed caravans at the very doorstep of the Germans which in turn
produced even more gold and it is no wonder that kcbob became known as
kcbob, the miser, unwilling to part with any of his precious coinage.
Eight times! Eight times a caravan was delivered to Leipzig with a resulting
increase in our treasury of over 1700 gold coins. Five times over 500 gold! 900 gold
from huts! Gold! Gold!! Gold!!!
And yet, in spite of this mental roadblock, kcbob was still somewhat mindful of his
duty to his people. He began a program of building the likes of which the world had
never seen. Factories were begun in a multitude of cities so as to further productivity
amongst the people. Discoveries were made. Genetic Engineering. Steel. Communism.
Espionage. Machine Tools. Refining. Miniaturization. Combustion. Automobile.
Progress never before seen in the world was being made. New cities were founded.
Fug-ow-wee. Zinderneuf. Advanced Tribe. Emerald City. Amoco.
And then, the unthinkable, the unspeakable, happened. On December 7, 1800, Germany
attacked! In the resulting mayhem, Konigsberg and Berlin were subverted and won over
to the glory of the Yellow. Unfortunately, during this time, kcbob showed his complete
lack of mastery of naval matters and the transport chain. It is feared it has been irreparably
damaged for all time.
And then, after peace had been reached with the German people, after the treasury had
grown to over 20,000 in gold, just when he thought the world would be his, a few little
old ladies in Florida began to quibble over a swinging chad and the next thing he knew,
kcbob was out of a job. Voted out of office, forced to leave behind all of that lovely
gold, kcbob went into retirement to write his memoirs. Watch for him soon on an
infomercial near you.
------------------
Frodo lives!
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Julius Brenzaida
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Currently cleaning the 9000 rooms of Sticky Mouse's Palace
Aug 2000
time: 05:12
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1814 AD. KJ5, the demagogic one is elected. The self-proclaimed “Robin Hood of modern democracy” had promised to see to it that the coffers of the nation shall be open to the street man and not only the politicians. In his unforgettable inauguration speech, he declared : “I promise you, we’re going to spend money : for the poor ones, for the riches, for war, for peace, and for anything else”. Time will tell if he was sincere.
Godhav’n founded. Chain of ships is suppressed because it “enslaves” the sailors !
1816 AD. Germans sneak attack us. What a mad Nation ! They lose a knight. United Nations build. Leipzig captured. Peace with Germans.
1818 AD. Frankfurt subverted. German frigate sank near Zinderneuf. Will they never learn ?
1820 AD. A spy sees that the capital and last German City, Hamburg has only one musketeer ! Destroyers gather in for the kill. Cure for Cancer build. Factories build in a few cities, randomly chosen, for as KJ5 puts it “enough of that advisors bulls***”.
1822 AD. Hamburg captured. Now, they have learned. Aufwiedersehen unser Deutschen Freunden. Numerous tales of Barbarians everywhere. Situation well in hand, but a few units are lost.
1824 AD. Mass production discovered. Computers are next. Crete recaptured from Barbarians. Everybody seems to ally against us. KJ5 declares : “I am a prophet only in my own country.
1826 AD. All is going so well that the parties of opposition become desperate. Everything KJ does, goes his way, they complain.
1830 AD. Belo Horizonte founded. Everything goes well, so well ….
1832 AD. Computers discovered. Mobile Warfare is next. Porto Alegre and Fort Dauphin founded. Wisdom is everything and a research lab is immediately build in Perfection City. A transport full of spies is approaching the core of the American-Carthagino-Babylonian continent. Other ones are heading for the Russo-Indian continent.
1834 AD. The times of election were coming. KJ5 the Demagogic One, decided to speak to the Nation. “Beloved citizen, I’ve spent lot of money and gave it to the one who needed it. I destroyed the German civilization who dared to attack us. I build factories and aqueduct to let population produce and grow. Our capable forces are now closing on our other enemies and soon the technology of Mobile Warfare will give us a definitive military edge. I’ve founded new cities and worked well on the land. We have 73 towns all prospering, and we are now a democracy of more than 22 millions people. We effectively rule the world. I could talk for hours, but I’m sure you’ve gotten it : I am the greatest president of the greatest nation of all time. It is why at the pinnacle of my glory I have decided no to represent myself for the new elections. I am the best but I cannot do better. I’m going to retire to my home to live in the history book as the perfect president.”
And KJ5 did just as he said, did not run for a second mandate, married his college long-time girlfriend and went on to live peacefully in a wonderful house with a view to the sea. Some say that he was less wealthy when he took office than when he left it, but as we all know, jealousy is the compliment the gifted and wise ones most often receive. And giving money to everybody includes thinking of oneself, does it not ?
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kcbob
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Kansas City, MO USA
Dec 1999
time: 23:12
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After a close fought election in 1856, kc W bob was inaugurated into the Presidency of the great nation of Yellow. His first action as president was to raise taxes so as to better bribe our enemies. The far reaching ramifications of this piece of legislation was dramatic. A town on the fringes of the empire was so upset with the new tax law that the entire empire went into a state of anarchy for a year.  Fortunately, the good people of Perfection City had erected a memorial to the Grande Dame, Liberte, and all was well with a few months.
During kc W bob's first term, Rocketry was discovered, the cities of Advanced Tribe and Kaopectate were founded, and 500 gold was found lying around in dirty old huts. The most earth shattering news during the first term in office was that the Barbarians developed Bronze Working!!! Can they do that?? 
In the year 1862, kc W bob was elected to a second term in office. He ran on a platform of never again raising taxes. Space Flight, Plastics, Nuclear Fission, and Nuclear Power were discovered. 350 gold was found in more dirty little huts, 310 gold was acquired through various trade routes, the American city of Dallas was subverted, and the loyal inhabitants of Teayo were reunited with the empire.
As a new election was being held, kc W bob made plans to move into plush offices in Perfection City, from where he would continue to watch the empire prosper. A space ship was begun, the future looked bright, and all was well in the world.
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Frodo lives!
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17-01-2001 01:19
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