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Cuaich
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Ontario, Canada
Mar 2001 time: 00:26
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MAC the Knife, leader of the peaceful and studious Scottish people, regretfully reports that armed conflict has been joined on our southern border. Treacherously attacked by the English heathens, as history shows so often to be the case, we have been forced into a war we do not want, but will not back down from.
Our gracious and powerful allies the Americans have been great assistance to the Scottish people in this time of need, once again displaying their willingness to pay the ultimate price to protect the freedom of others.
We salute the American people, and the strength of their leadership, and trust that an equitable and quick resolution can be found for this misunderstanding. 
Assuming, of course, that an intelligent Englishman can be found, most likely huddling craven-like in fear of what his lobotomized leaders have started!
Victory, or apology and recompense, will be ours!!!
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