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johndmuller
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Capitol Hill, Colony of DC
Feb 2001
time: 00:28
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Announcing the Pirate Merchantile System, the Solution to all your Shipping Problems
Margaritaville - August, 2114
Cuspidore BrownBeard announced today the incorporation (under a P.E.A.C.E. "For-Booty" Commercial Charter) of the "Pirate Merchantile System", a Full Service, Scheduled, Civilian Transportation and Freight Forwarding Corporation. We specialize in the pickup, delivery and burial storage of booty of all sizes shapes and textures: "...that's why we say: 'Booty is our Business'".
The System announced a schedule of voyages today that spans the entirety of the P.E.A.C.E. faction waters ... and more, offering clean, efficient and economical shipping to all current (... and future) ports of call at prices you can't afford to pass up. Don't forget to ask about our "Introductory Special", for New Customers Only - Free Burial Storage (at a Most Secure Secret Location) of Your Most Valuable Booty; just run up your White Flag and a Pirate Merchantile System vessel will be right there to make the pickup.
Speaking of vessels, Cap'n BrownBeard introduced the latest Pirate Merchantile System vessel, BootyBoat PMS-002, 'The Booty-Check'. She was constructed entirely on Chiron, of mostly native materials, at Atoll Atomics of Margaritaville; she is a Fission Powered, Foil Class Cargo Ship loosely based on the "Transport" design found in the Datalinks with special propiratal (sic) enhancements. When asked about these enhancements by this reporter, particularly whether they included such old favorites as the "Secret Marine Detachment", or the "Concealed Gunports", the Cuspidore shouted said: "That's none of your #%$@ing business I'm sorry, the terms of our Charter with the P.E.A.C.E. authorities do not allow us to confirm or deny the existence of any P.e.a.c.e. Military Services modifications to any of our vessels". Glibly changing the subject, the Cuspidore went on to discuss the differences between his commercial organization, the Pirate Merchantile System or PMS and the military organization, the P.e.a.c.e. Military Services or PMS:
"It's very simple", he said. We're the "For-Booty" Corporation, and they are the "Free-Booting Operation".
The Cycon Reporter queried, somewhat blankly: "... er..... Huh?"
After a nod to the 'Recruiting Officer' in the corner long hard stare, the Cuspidore replied: "We are in business ... For-the-Booty... ... and they are in business ... of Free Booty.... If you still don't understand it, I'm sure that the PMS will send someone over to shanghai you (and teach you a new trade) help you; just run up the old White Flag and a representative will be right there.
Finally, Cuspidore BrownBeard outlined the upcoming schedule for the Booty-Check, so prospective "just-in-time" inventory managers and other customers could better prepare their 5 year plans.
2114 - Arriving in Margaritaville from points West, most recently a Voyage to Booty Burial Plots Storage Facilities on Treasure Islet, the most recent landfall on its "shakedown" initial cruise around the entire P.E.A.C.E. Faction Seahold on secret PMS missions (Editors note: true "shakedown" cruises are more commonly performed by the other PMS - However. the term "Maiden Voyage" is too dangerous to use around pirates, so the ambiguous "shakedown" cruise must be used instead). While in 'Rita waters, the Booty-Check will deliver some machinery for a work-study crew from Margaritaville A & M, conducting forestry experiments wherein geneticallly altered hardwoods (to be used in building mainframes for our forthcoming "Privateer" Class of Warships) are grown in special mineral-enriched soils. The Booty-Check will then receive its routine maintenance check and refitting at Atoll Atomics.
2115 - Departing Margaritaville for Tripoli - Please note, there is still available cargo space on this, the First Official Commercial voyage ever conducted on Chiron; P.E.A.C.E. is honored to be able to offer this For-Booty transport service to all citizens of Chiron, whether free or not, human or not, but regretably, not to the un-Bootied. Please contact the PMS for information on enlistment, a charity service offered to any willing or unwilling recruits; just run up your White Flag and a representative will be right there.
(winter) 2115 / 2116 - Optional tourist excursion to the world famous Googlie Monument (see holograveure)
 Note: a donation of 2 Pieces of Eight is requested by the conservators of the Googlie Monument for their xenorum upkeep.
(mid) 2116 - Arrival at Tripoli. Tripoli is the Chironian World Capital Center of all Seagoing Commerce on Chiron and nominal home port of all the PMS fleet vessels. (Editors Note: The view of the anchorage at Tripoli is the only sight (save an empty cask of xenorum) known to bring a tear to the eyes of the Cuspidore, and that would only be on those occasions when he had "enough" xenorum.) A large contingent of passengers and cargo are expected to embark with the Booty-Check, so early reservations / freight consignment contracts are highly recommended for this leg of the voyage.
(winter) 2116 / 2117 - Departing Tripoli for (Henry) Morgan's Boot - be sure to catch the view of Tripoli Harbor (see holograveure) as you sail away; you will see why it is gloried as:
 Tripoli, the Gem of the Ocean, fabled in songs across the 7 seas and in fine taverns in the 7 factions.
2118 - Optional In-Transit Tourist stopover at Pitcairn Island Maroon Park and "(Final) Destination" Resort.
2119 - Arriving at (Henry) Morgan's Boot.
2120 - Departing Morgan's Boot for Liar's Lair or Treasure Islet depending on customer demand (place your orders now to ensure a place on the schedule for your preferred destination).
"The Pirate Merchantile System ... Where Booty is our Business, ... and only incidentally our pleasure... "
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03-06-2003 06:28
Are you sure the implant is at its working order? 
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