31-05-2003 03:56									#61
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Heard it from one of my physics professors who also teaches general science (basically sci credit for retards)

They were given an assignment to measure things in meters/liters/grams. Some dumb chick placed an edge of the ruler on the middle of the textbook and measured it as 6 cm and placed it as her answer.

Just another embarassing example of State University education....

	31-05-2003 03:59									#62
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Mine-

My mother, my sister, and myself were cleaning our home. My mom and I were dusting off a large ceiling fan's blades. The day was really hot and we were sweating. I'm dripping with sweat while my mom and I wipe the blades. I turn to my mom, totally serious and honest and say,

"Ho, it's pretty hot. Let's turn on the fan."

My mom-"That sounds like a good idea." (totally honest)

My sister whose watching us and listening says," 'Turn on the fan?' How are you guys going to wipe the blades?"

My mom and I both looked at each other with dumb faces and started laughing. Aw s*** that was dumb.

	31-05-2003 04:00									#63
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quote: Originally posted by Eli "Britain is on a island?! Ohhh, so that's what the "British Islands" thingie is all about..." (slightly paraphrased during translation) My father, while watching TV, couple years after a week long trip to London. What can I say... I'm surrounded by ignorance.

A friend of mine who went to the US was asked by three different people whether they speak English in Britain.

	31-05-2003 04:04									#64
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I used to work in Yosemite. One guy asked me where the other have of Half Dome was.

Oh, and another one was when US Secretary of the Treasury said that the Bush tax cuts would increase tax revenue.

	31-05-2003 04:07									#65
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one more:

I was explainging to my co-worker what I was learning in my calc phys. So basically I gave the most simplest easier than HS explanation of gravity and electromagnetism.

Anyway, I think I was on why satellites orbit when this happened... I drew a circle and labeled it as earth and drew two people standing on it. then I drew an arrow to indicate where gravity was pulling them and she notices the guy on the "bottom" being pulled "upward" and asks me:

"Wait so this guy doesnt fall off?"

	31-05-2003 04:18									#66
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Going back to terrible geographaic knowledge stuff mentioned by arrian and uber...

When I was little I watched two documentary(?) about mexico and canada. Both doc started off with an intro that basically mentions that they are next to US. I was confused by how both were next to a same object for a second and came up with a conclusion that Canada must be right of US and Mexico is on the left of US.

	31-05-2003 05:52									#67
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One of the chicks at my old employer was talking about which dentist she should use under the company dental plan. The plan let you go to just about any dentist you wanted so she asked me how to find a good dentist. I told her "Why don't you just call 1-800-DENTIST?" to which she asked me "What's the number to 1-800-DENTIST?"!

She was cute but stupid.

	01-06-2003 01:49									#68
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Kidicious:

Actually, tax cuts can increase revenue as was proven by Secretary of the Treasury Andrew Mellon (i think that was who it was) in the 1920's... the thing was that during the war when taxes were somewhat high, revenue had been low as most people with money had put their money in tax exempt bonds... when he reduced the taxes, revenue increased as people were less likely to put their money in tax exempt bonds as they felt the taxes were low enough to not bother with bonds...

so yes, cutting taxes CAN increase revenue.

	01-06-2003 01:52									#69
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there is also the matter of lower taxes spurning on more business activity and more job creation which also eventually leads to increased revenue as there is more income and more property to tax (albeit at a reduced tax rate)

	01-06-2003 02:14									#70
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In seventh grade we studied basic human history. Part of this is, obviously, the theory of evolution and the development of human anatomy. In one class, when attempting to ask a question regarding the 'hyoid' bone, one girl referred to it as the 'hemroid' bone, to which my teacher replied "I don't think preparation H could fix that".

My friend Ben, who decided he was just going to fail a semester of physics, was taking his final. When given a problem regarding the force of an impact of a rocket in salt water of such-and-such density, he gave the answer 'two lightyears'.

This one probably requires a little knowledge of mixing boards to understand, but I was astonished when someone who claimed to have worked with sound design for a couple of years was able to inform me that the potentiometer labeled 'F/B' controlled feedback.

	01-06-2003 02:55									#71
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I remember a teacher at my school attempted to put down a student by saying "Even if I taught you everything I know, you still wouldn't know anything".

Another time a few students were late for a class, the teacher asked why they were late. They responded that they were detained by a previous class. The teacher's response was wholly unintelligible - "So? I may have just got out of prison, but I haven't!".

	01-06-2003 03:53									#72
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On 9/10/01 An astrologer said that the 6 inner planets(excepting Earth) were going to align over the Great Pyramid of Egypt on 9/16/01 in a Star of David and this was going to start The Age of Aquarius.

This woman gives me great joy when she says organic molecules are tetrahedronal, and I mentioned that sugar molecules are hexagonal, she hit the ceiling, atmospheric discharge is zeropoint energy, and all the other nonsense spouted by Art Bell/George Noorie. If you miss the Iraqi Information Minister, check these two out.

	01-06-2003 04:04									#73
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One time I went to the restaurant and asked for a cheesburger without cheese.

	01-06-2003 04:07									#74
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Not addressed to me personally, but Ashcroft's statement about the capture of Eric Rudolph cracked me up. (For those of you who don't know, Rudolph was apprehended by a young cop who thought he might be trying to break into a local business and had very little to do with the large manhunt that failed to catch him for five year; i.e. it was pure luck).:

"This sends a clear message that we will never cease in our efforts to hunt down all terrorists, foreign or domestic, and stop them from harming the innocent"

	01-06-2003 04:44									#75
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My cousin called me a traitor because I don't like Bush.

	01-06-2003 04:56									#76
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quote: "This sends a clear message that we will never cease in our efforts to hunt down all terrorists, foreign or domestic, and stop them from harming the innocent"

How is that stupid? He maybe trying to take some credit for it... but the manhunt was still continuing. It isn't like they decided forget it and went home.

After all, why do you think he was trying to find food in the garbage anyway?

	01-06-2003 05:03									#77
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Well, Ashcroft is crediting the manhunt with catching Rudolph, when really it was blind luck. He makes no effort to connect the manhunt to Rudolph looking for food in a dumpster (which he could have done to make his statement somewhat less of a non sequitur). Also, if you read the news, you will find that the way Rudolph was dressed when he was apprehended tends to imply he had some supporters willing to help him hide. He certainly didn't look like a man that had just spent 5-6 years hiding out in the woods.

Man, I actually remember when they first started looking for him. One of my mom's friends at the time was one of the many FBI agents sent to North Carolina in the attempt to track down Mr. Rudolph. I think he was only wanted for the abortion clinic bombings at the time though.

	01-06-2003 05:04									#78
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quote: you will find that the way Rudolph was dressed when he was apprehended tends to imply he had some supporters willing to help him hide

Then why was he looking for food in a dumpster?

	01-06-2003 05:08									#79
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quote: Then why was he looking for food in a dumpster

-You're asking a guy who was so convinced that Rudolph had already fled to Mexico or someplace where he wasn't being sought.

	01-06-2003 05:14									#80
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What? You thought he fled to Mexico?

Anyway, if I was the Attorney General, I'd say roughly the same thing. We never let up on him and he's had his picture plastered all over. So the cop recognized him, etc, etc.

	01-06-2003 06:02									#81
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But the cop didn't recognize him. They didn't figure out who he was until the cop took him back to the police station and many cops saw him, one of whom recognized him.

	01-06-2003 06:03									#82
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quote: What? You thought he fled to Mexico?

-If hundreds of people were actively searching for me in one very specific place, I would do my best to be anywhere but there.

	01-06-2003 06:06									#83
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back in highschool this girls asked the teacher if he had a picture of the big bang

	01-06-2003 08:12									#84
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quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker One time I went to the restaurant and asked for a cheesburger without cheese.

I work in a movie theatre and we have a New York Fries concession.
The tradition is if an employee comes to see a movie, he goes to the New York Fries, asks for a poutine (fries with gravy sauce and cheese, specialty around here) without carrots.
Working employee : Im sorry sir we dont have carrots
"Customer"(very mad): I SAID I DONT WANT ANY CARROTS DONT YOU UNDERSTAND
Working employee : We never put any carrots sir Im sorry
"Customer"(madder than mad): WHATS WRONG WITH YOU, I JUST TOLD YOU I DONT WANT ANY CARROTS IN MY POUTINE..
etc...
Its half prepared, half improvisation
Looking at the faces of the other customers is hilarious as they try to disappear while the "customer" is getting crazy over carrots....

	02-06-2003 11:07									#85
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This is a good thread to state that I say a lot of stupid things. But that doesn't make me a stupid person. Often I just say stupid things because I don't think before speaking or I'm just trolling. But like I said that doesn't make me stupid. I still claim to be the smartest man who has ever lived at any point in the history of the planet Earth.

	02-06-2003 11:51									#86
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Great thread. Some favorites (only one said directly to me, but still):

In college -- an Ivy League university, mind you, though I won't besmirch its good name by telling you which one -- a girl I knew stopped a conversation dead by asking me, "Really? Chicago is in a state? Which one?"

In high school, as an exam was being handed out in my European history course, I heard a panicking girl ask her friend, "Quick, who fought in the Franco-Prussian War?"

A couple of years ago a colleague of mine caught a student cheating on a midterm and, of course gave her a "0" on the test. When grades were posted, a friend of hers came to see the teacher and said, "Ma'am, the grade you gave Deniz is very unfair. We were all cheating; it is not right to punish her just because she got caught."

	02-06-2003 12:33									#87
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quote: Originally posted by Dissident This is a good thread to state that I say a lot of stupid things. But that doesn't make me a stupid person. Often I just say stupid things because I don't think before speaking or I'm just trolling. But like I said that doesn't make me stupid. I still claim to be the smartest man who has ever lived at any point in the history of the planet Earth.

You think out loud a lot.

RTF, you have to admire the honesty though.

	02-06-2003 23:09									#88
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Someone telling me to kill him...both stupid and seriously ****ed up.

	03-06-2003 00:05									#89
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again, not to me, but in my presence.

in biology class, the professor was going over the reproductive system and related things, and she described that semen contained a lot of sugars.

one of the girls in the class then proceeded to ask, "then why doesn't it taste sweet?"

there was dead silence, then an uproar of laughter. then the professor told us all to hush up, with this smirk on her face that made me want to start laughing all over again.

she then proceeded to say "because there are no tastebuds on the back of your throat."

	03-06-2003 00:12									#90
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quote: she then proceeded to say "because there are no tastebuds on the back of your throat."

Your professor has a sense of humor.

-Arrian