24-07-2003 03:27									#31
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

How to avoid telemarketing calls: http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=...&tid=158&tid=99
How to profit if they call anyway: http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=...=nested&tid=158

And I am not even a US citizen!

	24-07-2003 03:30									#32
	Inflate your Upload Space

They can be fun if your really bored and drunk... The reverse prank calls!

"We are calling from your credit card company to let you know about a special offer...bla, bla, life insurance, bla, bla"

"Life insurance? Really? What's that?"

"You don't know what life insurance is?"

"Not really."

"In case you die or are injured you or your family receive money"

"Wow, can I have the money before I die?"

"No, you have to die, and then your family will get the money"

"Why? I'm the one who died, besides they all hate me, and I think at least one of them is trying to kill me."

"Really, one of them is trying to kill you?"

"Yeah, it's ok though, I'm ready, got my winchester all loaded, the minute I see her she's dead. Hey, can I take out some this insurance stuff on her?"

	24-07-2003 03:39									#33
	Tired of ads?

There's some good telemarketer pranks on the net. One is to pretend you are taking the phone into the lavatory to speak while you take a dump.

	24-07-2003 03:47									#34
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I actually do that, and it's not a prank... It's better if you got wiz... naturally louder (sometimes), and the a quick flush...

	24-07-2003 04:01									#35
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quote: "Are you a cop" "Yes" "Oh I hate you pigs!"

*Japher mysteriously dissapears two days later*

	24-07-2003 04:04									#36
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Even better, pretend you're jerking off...

	24-07-2003 04:15									#37
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this is a great thread!!

	24-07-2003 04:18									#38
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quote: Even better, pretend you're jerking off...

why pretend?



Tell the telemarketers about that article on how it improves your health...

---

or be more subtle and just respond to everything the telemarketer says with "oh ya" (very suductivly)....

	24-07-2003 04:21									#39
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Telemarketers aren't so much to blame as your #&*@ neighbor who buys the stuff, does making it a profitable business.

	24-07-2003 04:23									#40
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good point

I'm going to go home and call some telemarketers

	24-07-2003 04:23									#41
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That's like saying it isn't drug dealers' fault that they sell drugs. THEY made the decision to...

	24-07-2003 04:26									#42
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quote: Originally posted by Japher They can be fun if your really bored and drunk... The reverse prank calls! "We are calling from your credit card company to let you know about a special offer...bla, bla, life insurance, bla, bla" "Life insurance? Really? What's that?" "You don't know what life insurance is?" "Not really." "In case you die or are injured you or your family receive money" "Wow, can I have the money before I die?" "No, you have to die, and then your family will get the money" "Why? I'm the one who died, besides they all hate me, and I think at least one of them is trying to kill me." "Really, one of them is trying to kill you?" "Yeah, it's ok though, I'm ready, got my winchester all loaded, the minute I see her she's dead. Hey, can I take out some this insurance stuff on her?"

This assumes you think they are worth the time. My old roomie used to mess with telemarketers, but I thought he was a loser for not having something better to do.

(Don't make a comeback on Poly usage here... )

	24-07-2003 06:02									#43
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

quote: Originally posted by Agathon Here's a suggestion. All those people who defend telemarketers can have all the calls I get.

I never get telemarketer calls.

	24-07-2003 06:17									#44
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Ooh, you can have mine

	24-07-2003 06:22									#45
	Inflate your Upload Space

My step-dad used to feign interest for the entire spiel, and then say no and hang up at the end.

	24-07-2003 06:25									#46
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quote: Originally posted by Kirnwaffen My step-dad used to feign interest for the entire spiel, and then say no and hang up at the end.

That's what I do. I let them ramble on for 5 minutes while I ignore them, then say I'm not interested when they finally stop. I can tell it really annoys them, one guy sounded like he was about to go postal when he gave me the manditory thank you and said good bye.

	24-07-2003 06:27									#47
	Suffering from ads?

Another thing I do is just tell them that the people who live here aren't here, and to call back the next day. They call back the next day and I tell them the same thing. This can go on for months sometimes, and it's usually the same person making the call.

	24-07-2003 06:55									#48
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quote: Originally posted by mrmitchell "Hi, this is Todd's carpet cleaning service...we just wanted to tell you about our great new deal" "Oh man, can you get blood out of the carpet?" "Er, yes..." "Oh, thank God, good, cause I got blood everywhere, man...I mean, it's all over the carpets, the drapes, the couch, everything..." "Well, is there anything I can do?" "No, no, no--wait, can you come over right now?"

That sounds like Thom Mabe to me: Revenge on the Telemarketers!

ACK!

	24-07-2003 07:17									#49
	Tired of ads?

Just say, "No she isn't here, she was the victim of a terrible slasher murder".

	24-07-2003 07:43									#50
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

Tuber: Yes. Sorry for not mentioning the source.

hm.

"Hello, this is Jane from Great Deal Incorporated, we just wanted to call you about the great hotel rates we had on rooms in Orlando, Florida, merely miles away from Disneyland."

(get an accomplice)
Friend: *sob* Oh don't hurt me *sob
You: I'LL KILL YOU *****!
Tele: Er, could I call at a better time?
You: No....how great were the rates?
Tele: Well, for single rooms it's --
You: Excuse me. Could you hold on for a minute?
You: *****! (At this point in the conversation, you should throw something very loud across the room.)
Tele: Are you sure I can't call back later?
You: No. Just hold for a second. (Right now, you can either throw the phone across the room, yell random profanities, or fake a gunshot sound. The conversation will end quickly either way. )

	24-07-2003 08:48									#51
	Suffering from ads?

farkers/

	24-07-2003 08:50									#52
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

word

	24-07-2003 11:09									#53
	Increase the size of your Attachments

Why stop with telemarketers? Why not get rid of the people who make commercials as well?

	24-07-2003 12:13									#54
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

I keep my girlfriend amused by doing several of the things mentioned above. I'm fond of setting the phone down and going back to whatever I was doing, letting them ramble on into oblivion. If I want to keep the line open, I hang up immediately, or leave them with a snappy answer and hang up. When the telemarketers for the police union / sheriff's association call I give them special attention. They are almost uniformly ex-cons, and try to scare you into contributing. I let them go through their spiel, pretending to be scared so that they think I'm convinced that they are actually the police. Then when they stop for air I ask them how long they've been out of prison. They always hang up immediately.

Oh, and one more thing for Red Jon. Hooking up wires to scrotums for the Hussein brothers is only a job as well.

	24-07-2003 12:40									#55
	Increase Your PM Length

Japher: Thanks! Now I have something to do on Saturday nights!