03-08-2003 08:47									#31
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Why is it that people crack jokes about any number of unpleasantries? Because humor is a release, Che.

This is a grim subject, and it makes guys squirm. Even moreso because of the stigma that's associated with the mere accusation.

Doesn't matter if you didn't commit the crime, if you're accused, YOU have the stigma, period.

-=Vel=-

	03-08-2003 08:59									#32
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara Because there are only 16 spots. Anyway, every option but two is an "I didn't sexually assault someone."

There are now 24 slots for polls.

BTW, I'm one of those who have never met anybody who has been raped, nor anybody who has been falsely accused of sexual assault. The closest thing is that an old friend told me that one of her acquaintances was raped (this particular person is absolutely unknown to me).

In the business where I worked, I never even heared a gossip about some exec abusing a working girl. Many of my female friends had sentimental trouble, but no one has been raped. Maybe I have a more lax definition of "rape" than yourself, or maybe you are really living in a shithole...

	03-08-2003 09:40									#33
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quote: It depends on how it is defined, I suppose. Here is how they find out how large a problem rape being unreported, however. Doctors and counselors (social workers and psychiatrists) keep statistics. As well, various studies ask women a number of different questions trying to find out whether they've been sexually assaulted, such as, have you ever been forced to have sex, have you ever had sex when you said you didn't want to, etc. Since rape and sexual assault have a stigma attatched, often times people will not admit to themselves or others that they had been raped, but they will say they were forced to have sex. By finding out how many of these women reported their attacks to the police, they can infer back the number that go unreported. It's a very large percentage.

And technically, the definition of crime requires a conviction, thus making no "crime" unreported. But we won't get into technicalities.

Having sex when they didn't exactly feel like it is not rape. Rape is when a male assaults a female or a female and male are in the situation to have it, but the female says no (and then the male displays some force or something to make her.) I bet some smartass is going to post Webster's definition of rape, but that's the generally acceptable definition everyone can agree on, and "I don't exactly feel like it" isn't part of it. If they don't say "No" or are assaulted (given that neither of them are into kinky S&M stuff ) then it's not rape.

quote: Since rape and sexual assault have a stigma attatched, often times people will not admit to themselves or others that they had been raped,

Most feminists wear "I was raped" as a badge of pride, a reason for their ultrafeminaziism. However, the general mainstream doesn't, thank God. I wouldn't say "I was murdered" as a support for the death penalty.

quote: As well, various studies ask women a number of different questions trying to find out whether they've been sexually assaulted, such as, have you ever been forced to have sex, have you ever had sex when you said you didn't want to, etc.

They might ask those questions, but the conclusions you can derive from them are only vague at best. Vague questions and vague concepts bring vague answers. "Unreported crime" is really just a buzzword and can't have any actual significance, really, due to the vagueness etc.

	03-08-2003 13:22									#34
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I've been accused of sexual harrassment. About 12 yrs ago.
I said something to a customer about everyone having "nuts in the family tree."
I mean, c'mon, I could do better than that if I really wanted to harrass her.

	03-08-2003 14:01									#35
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There doesn't always have to be a no for there to be rape. There should be informed consent. I.E. if you have your drink spiked so you don't know what your are doing that can be rape.

	03-08-2003 14:15									#36
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quote: I know of at least eight women, off the top of my head who were raped, one of who has been raped multiple times.

You would have thought she'd learnt i) how to protect herself, or ii) what sort of guys to avoid being alone with.

	03-08-2003 16:20									#37
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You'd better don your flameguard Bodds. That's going to take this thread down fast.

I've known several friends who have been raped.

I don't know any guys who have been falsely accused of rape.

I echo Vel's concerns since I had an especially acrimonious breakup with an ex-girlfriend who could very well have accused me of rape after the fact, just out of spite.

Who could have testified in my defense had she chosen that route? Who would have believed a man over a woman?

	03-08-2003 16:29									#38
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quote: Originally posted by TheStinger There doesn't always have to be a no for there to be rape. There should be informed consent. I.E. if you have your drink spiked so you don't know what your are doing that can be rape.

I fully disagree with that. Most people who act drunk are merely uninhibited to do what they really want, and besides, everybody knows what's going to happen when they're getting drunk at a club or something.
Rape is a serious crime. It involves violence and humiliation. It involves a rapist who is taking control over an unconsenting victim in a brutal way.
There are ways other than violence for someone to have sex with someone else: flirt, alcohol, asking for a favor to your SO. All of these are needed to convince the target when it's unenthusiastic at first. The use of these ways has nothing to do with rape.
Heck, otherwise I'd been raping my gf everytime we have sex despite her being unenthusiastic at first (and vice versa). What a criminal I am

	05-08-2003 12:37									#39
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not to be rude.

but how do you guys know your friends have been raped? have you actually seen them raped?

you may not believe this, but women commonly make up sob stories for attention. I'm not saying your friends did, but that is a possibility.

	05-08-2003 14:43									#40
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I've known a lot of people both men (few) and women (a lot when sexual abuse is factored in) who have been sexually assaulted / molested. None of them were violently assaulted by strangers. Some were drugged either by their attacker or got falling down drunk on their own and were assaulted while they were passed out. Some were assaulted by their boyfriends when they were both wasted. Some were date raped by guys they barely knew.

It's a complex crime. A lot of rapists were victims of violent or sexual abuse when they were children. They learned that physical power trumps any sort of right they might have to have their bodily integrity respected. They also know how to spot people who are unlikely to defend themselves or tell. A lot of rape victims were victims of violent or sexual abuse as children also. They learned that they don't have a right to say no and expect that to be honored. They also learn to remain silent lest the whole affair destroy their fragile world.

	05-08-2003 15:09									#41
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Where is "I'm a female and i was sexually assaulted by banana" ?

	05-08-2003 16:06									#42
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Well, I know one who has been sexually harassed. Actually some Apolytoners even know who I refer to, but I won't reiterate that. It's indeed sad that such things are common, but fortunately it wasn't involving rape.

	06-08-2003 03:34									#43
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quote: Originally posted by obiwan18 Who could have testified in my defense had she chosen that route? Who would have believed a man over a woman?

Your word vs. her word = you win. Unless she can produce any evidence she was raped, it will be very difficult to get a convention. Rape is hard to prove.

	06-08-2003 03:52									#44
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I dated a woman that had been sexually assualted at knifepoint ( he went to jail) and then was in an abusive relationship where much of the sex was rape as well ( She was actually too afraid of this guy to report and she ended up going through a cycle of dating him and breaking up). I also knew a guy in law school charged with sexual assault, convicted , reversed on appeal and the charges not filed again. I don't know if he did it or not but he was an arrogant jerk so it wasn't a case of thinking he " wasn't the type" (whatever the type is supposed to be.

I do not know anyone falsely accused nor do I think the phenomenon is common. However, I think that the possibility of false accusation may rise with the fame and wealth of the accused-- I have no evidence on this .. . just a bald-assed assertion based on the logic that a liar will more often lie for a greater gain

	06-08-2003 03:57									#45
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov Your word vs. her word = you win. Unless she can produce any evidence she was raped, it will be very difficult to get a convention. Rape is hard to prove.

I agree with you last two sentences . . IT is incredibly hard but convictions do occurr in he said-she said cases. Essentially, if a jury can believe and accept that they have no reasonable doubt that the complainant is telling the truth, they may convict. Juries or judges as triers of fact may reach their own conclusions as to the credibility of witnesses. many men with no hard evidence against them have been convicted.

	06-08-2003 04:06									#46
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Being accussed of sexual harrassment isn't the same thing as being accused of sexual assault. Hell, I've been accused of sexual harrassment. And while it's true that I did actually sexually harrass someone, I didn't in this case. She misheard what I said.

	06-08-2003 04:21									#47
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What he actually said was "Boy, that's a great set of mits!" referring to two baseball gloves on the desk behind her.


Sorry... it was best I could come up with...

Anyway, I remember a few years back there was this kid I used to play football with who got accused of raping a girl. I remember there was A LOT of speculation though... some people said he was the type to do it, and others said she wasn't the type to say no...