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Kuciwalker is offline Kuciwalker
Emperor
of Schmooism
Feb 2001
time: 00:30
  Old Post 26-09-2003 09:49
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quote:
FezzHand


:) Smiley is offline :) Smiley
Emperor
USCA, Berkeley
Feb 2001
time: 21:30
  Old Post 26-09-2003 10:09 Visit :) Smiley's homepage!
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Full score on Parts A & B is 48.

Essays had a maximum possible score of 16. Once again, at least two people must bring up a certain point for it to be counted.

Now for the essays:

Scoring- get this number of points for each of the following points covered:
Kill people- 7
Zylka- 3
Ban advertising- 2
Buy less stuff- 2
Stop large corporations- 2
Education/propaganda- 2
Use animals or food- 2
No Response- 2

Essay Scores:
Wernazuma- 8
Immortal Wombat- 7
Stefu- 7
Straybow- 7
Skywalker- 7
St Leo- 7
Skanky Burns- 7
Mr Mitchell- 5
Japher- 4
Shi Huangdi- 3
Ben Kenobi- 3
Boshko- 2
Spencer H- 2
The Andy Man- 2
Jaguar Warrior- 2
Atahualpa- 2
Zylka- 2
ADG- 2
Tuberski- 0
Theban- 0

Last edited by :) Smiley on 26-09-2003 at 10:19

:) Smiley is offline :) Smiley
Emperor
USCA, Berkeley
Feb 2001
time: 21:30
  Old Post 26-09-2003 10:12 Visit :) Smiley's homepage!
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for reference these were the responses.
-------------------------------------------
nuke everything
-----------------
kill everyone

-----------------

The first step would be to ban advertising in public spaces, later followed by banning ads on TV and then altogether.
At the same time introduce uniforms for all citizens, so no more stupid consumerism on brand cloths.
The we should tax new products and especially packaging material so repair becomes an option again.
Then we gather all the CEOs of major corporations and put them in a train to the former nuclear testing area in Kazakhstan where they have to dwell for the rest of their lives on stone age like agriculture.
Secondly, make a test on common knowledge on political and historical issues at the campus. Those who fail will be sent on an old oil tanker to the Bikini Atoll - no more superficial Laws and Economics student bunnies!

-----------------
Die

-----------------
Kill them all

-----------------
Zylka

-----------------
Make evryone whach 'Barney' repeatedly, and tell them this is the end result of consumerism. I can't imagine it lasting long after that.

-----------------
Start with a basic investment, leverage your interest, diversify your portfolio, re-invest your dividends, sell at 34.

-----------------
A Game of Global Thermonuclear War.

-----------------
ACK! PPTTHHHHBBBTTT!

-----------------
Death


-----------------
Zylka

-----------------

The usage of bananas is key

-----------------

Stop Globalization

-----------------

No
-----------------

"A dog is a man's best friend." That common saying may contain some truth, but dogs are not the only animal friend whose companionship people enjoy. For many people, a cat is their best friend. Despite what dog lovers may believe, cats make excellent housepets.

In the first place, people enjoy the companionship of cats. Many cats are affectionate. They will snuggle up and ask to be petted, or scratched under the chin. Who can resist a purring cat? If they're not feeling affectionate, cats are generally quite playful. They love to chase balls and feathers, or just about anything dangling from a string. They especially enjoy playing when their owners are participating in the game. Contrary to popular opinion, cats can be trained. Using rewards and punishments, just like with a dog, a cat can be trained to avoid unwanted behavior or perform tricks. Cats will even fetch!

In the second place, cats are civilized members of the household. Unlike dogs, cats do not bark or make other loud noises. Most cats don't even meow very often. They generally lead a quiet existence. Cats also don't often have "accidents." Mother cats train their kittens to use the litter box, and most cats will use it without fail from that time on. Even stray cats usually understand the concept when shown the box and will use it regularly. Cats do have claws, and owners must make provision for this. A tall scratching post in a favorite cat area of the house will often keep the cat content to leave the furniture alone. As a last resort, of course, cats can be declawed.

Lastly, one of the most attractive features of cats as housepets is their ease of care. Cats do not have to be walked. They get plenty of exercise in the house as they play, and they do their business in the litter box. Cleaning a litter box is a quick, painless procedure. Cats also take care of their own grooming. Bathing a cat is almost never necessary because under ordinary circumstances cats clean themselves. Cats are more particular about personal cleanliness than people are. In addition, cats can be left home alone for a few hours without fear. Unlike some pets, most cats will not destroy the furnishings when left alone. They are content to go about their usual activities until their owners return.

Cats are low maintenance, civilized companions. People who have small living quarters or less time for pet care should appreciate these characteristics of cats. However, many people who have plenty of space and time still opt to have a cat because they love the cat personality. In many ways, cats are the ideal housepet.

My conclusion? Plagiarism doesn't pay, especially off the first Google link and in a topic unrelated. What you should learn, however, is that: ixnay, Zylka, or Smiley, you need to do your classwork yourself instead of asking an Apolytoner to do it for you.
Kill everyone.
-----------------

The best way to mitigate the worst excesses of consumer culture can be answered in three parts. Each part is very important and must be done with great skill and strategy as to amply address each part within a timely manner. The first part would be to identify the worst excess of consumer culture, as well as to define whatever the hell that means. The second part would require a monkey, a unicycle, a truck load of cheeseburgers, and Zylka in a toto. The third part would be to ensure that the monkey does not get offended by or jealous of Zylka… The rest will come naturally.
-----------------

Get Ming fired to stop the worst evils of advertising
-----------------

Dont buy stuff.

Last edited by :) Smiley on 26-09-2003 at 10:18

TimeTraveler is offline TimeTraveler
Warlord

May 2003
time: 23:30
  Old Post 26-09-2003 10:29
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Full PM-box? Change here!

If I was aware of this contest, and knew how to post pictures, I think I would have really enjoyed drawing and posting a picture of a partially hovering tank with reflective armor and laser rifles.
Oh, well.

mrmitchell is offline mrmitchell
King

Donate to the Red Cross

Sep 2002
time: 23:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 02:22
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Increase Your PM Length

So what's the tally of the scores?

Immortal Wombat is offline Immortal Wombat
Prince
in perpetuity
Dec 2000
time: 05:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 02:28 Visit Immortal Wombat's homepage!
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3? that star tank got 3? 3? freaking 3?

You suck. This whole thing sucks.

Tuberski is offline Tuberski
Emperor
ACK!!! PTHBBPPPTTT!!!!
Feb 2002
time: 23:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 02:44 Visit Tuberski's homepage!
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Suffering from ads?

How can I get 0 for a question?

That's stupid.

ACK!

Japher is offline Japher
Prince
Ook! Ook! Ack! Ack! Ack!
Jun 2002
time: 05:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 02:50
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quote:
ACK! PPTTHHHHBBBTTT!


I wonder whose essay this is

but I think it's dead on

Tuberski is offline Tuberski
Emperor
ACK!!! PTHBBPPPTTT!!!!
Feb 2002
time: 23:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 02:57 Visit Tuberski's homepage!
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Tired of ads?

Me too, but it was worth exactly 0 points.

ACK!

Ben Kenobi is offline Ben Kenobi
Emperor
McGregornobi!
Oct 2002
time: 21:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 03:08
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Just a few critiques.

1. You need a system that rewards effort moreso than those who posted nothing.

Now, if 13 posters all submitted a blank page of a 'camoflaged Siberian tank during the winter', they ought to receive 13 points.

No submission at all should recieve 0.

If a person gives an answer, and he is the only one with that answer he should also get 1 point, and not 0.

Zylka is offline Zylka
Prince
sure
May 2000
time: 05:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 03:19
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Get a bigger avatar today!

I agree with the latter

:) Smiley is offline :) Smiley
Emperor
USCA, Berkeley
Feb 2001
time: 21:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 03:20 Visit :) Smiley's homepage!
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Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

In response to that, people who are the only one to raise a certain point in the essay don't get points for those points because doing so would encourage laundry listing.

This contest isn't about effort, it's about stupidity. I have tried to balance the two.

Zylka is offline Zylka
Prince
sure
May 2000
time: 05:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 03:32
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ANSWERS! The white coats have found me and are trying to wrench me away from the keyboard. I don't know how much longer I can ho

Straybow is offline Straybow
Emperor
SG(2)… gone but not forgotten
Jan 1970
time: 23:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 03:34 Visit Straybow's homepage!
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I really missed points by not Zylka-ing 6,7,8.

I guess I got 13 on the tank, but I thought I sent a picture… I'll have to check the address. If I got the address wrong that's pretty stupid, and then I suppose I deserve 13

mrmitchell is offline mrmitchell
King

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Sep 2002
time: 23:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 03:37
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where is the tally of what everyone made!?

:) Smiley is offline :) Smiley
Emperor
USCA, Berkeley
Feb 2001
time: 21:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 03:48 Visit :) Smiley's homepage!
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The Andy-Man 20
Theban 32
Japher 33
ADG 33
Shi Huangdi 36
Ben Kenobi 36
Atahualpa 36
Boshko 38
mrmitchell 41
St Leo 41
wernazuma 42
Tuberski 42
Jaguar Warrior 46
stefu 49
immortal wombat 50

Five others even more dumber than dirt whose scores will be announced shortly...
Skanky Burns
Skywalker
Spencer H
Straybow
Zylka

Straybow is offline Straybow
Emperor
SG(2)… gone but not forgotten
Jan 1970
time: 23:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 04:27 Visit Straybow's homepage!
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Second? Oh wait, that's alphabetical.

SpencerH is offline SpencerH
King
Co-Ruler of my patch of land south of Birmingham Alabama
Feb 2002
time: 23:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 04:31
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quote:
Originally posted by Smiley

Five others even more dumber than dirt whose scores will be announced shortly...
Skanky Burns
Skywalker
Spencer H
Straybow
Zylka


Yeah baby!!

I'd like to point out to those who didnt get the joke, that my answer to the song question

Q: What is the best Dance Dance Revolution song?

was in fact The Internationale (Disco Remix)

Last edited by SpencerH on 27-09-2003 at 04:36

Straybow is offline Straybow
Emperor
SG(2)… gone but not forgotten
Jan 1970
time: 23:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 04:43 Visit Straybow's homepage!
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I still don't get the joke… Who the heck is DDR?

Immortal Wombat is offline Immortal Wombat
Prince
in perpetuity
Dec 2000
time: 05:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 05:11 Visit Immortal Wombat's homepage!
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I... won

mrmitchell is offline mrmitchell
King

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Sep 2002
time: 23:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 05:15
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4th time right? Congratulations

Immortal Wombat is offline Immortal Wombat
Prince
in perpetuity
Dec 2000
time: 05:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 05:17 Visit Immortal Wombat's homepage!
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ta.

I'll let Zylka organise the next one. I know he wants to, and he might manage to make it FUN.

Straybow is offline Straybow
Emperor
SG(2)… gone but not forgotten
Jan 1970
time: 23:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 05:58 Visit Straybow's homepage!
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No, IW, you are 6th. He hasn't release the positions of the top 5 respondants.

Doofus

Immortal Wombat is offline Immortal Wombat
Prince
in perpetuity
Dec 2000
time: 05:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 06:03 Visit Immortal Wombat's homepage!
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dumber = higher score?

what a crap post.

:) Smiley is offline :) Smiley
Emperor
USCA, Berkeley
Feb 2001
time: 21:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 06:26 Visit :) Smiley's homepage!
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well of course... what else do you think it would mean?

The following 3 are tied at 54 points:
Spencer H
Straybow
Skywalker

Two other people have scores in the 60s.

:) Smiley is offline :) Smiley
Emperor
USCA, Berkeley
Feb 2001
time: 21:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 13:05 Visit :) Smiley's homepage!
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and now the final results...

In second place, with a score of 60, is Z****.

Coming in first with a score of 62 is Skanky Burns! Congratulations!



Thank goodness for the essay question, otherwise the Zylk would of won.

The Andy-Man is offline The Andy-Man
Prince
Tory Party of 'Poly
Jul 2001
time: 05:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 18:29
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Got spare money?

I came last

St Leo is offline St Leo
King of Scenario League
Member of the Apolyton Social Democratic Party
Jul 2005
time: 00:30
  Old Post 27-09-2003 22:29 Visit St Leo<br><img src=/forums/images/staff-icon.gif>'s homepage!
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These are not the winners you are looking for. We may pass.

badams52 is offline badams52
Prince
near the magic kingdom
May 2002
time: 21:30
  Old Post 28-09-2003 03:36
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quote:
Originally posted by Straybow
I really missed points by not Zylka-ing 6,7,8.


I've noticed that enough people answer questions about Apolytoners with Zylka that that answer is usually the winner.

Of course now that I've said this, will it skew future answers that way even more so?

Skanky Burns is offline Skanky Burns
Deity
Skanky Bastard Quartermaster
Aug 2001
time: 14:30
  Old Post 28-09-2003 15:14
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Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Wow.

Theres a first for everything, apparently.

 
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