29-10-2003 04:07									#1
	Baghdad not so bad after all! Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

Is this true Sneak?

Coach Steve Mariucci had put together the perfect Detroit Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Baghdad. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Iraqi soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window 200 yards away - ka boom!

"I've got to get this guy!" Mariucci said to himself. "He has the perfect arm." So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football and the Detroit Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history.

The young Iraqi is lionized as the Great Hero of football, and when Mariucci asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl."

"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son."

"I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No, let me tell you," the mother retorts, "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was kidnapped in broad daylight."

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says

". . . I'll never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."

	29-10-2003 04:52									#3
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ACK!

	29-10-2003 05:40									#4
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I first heard that one about an Afghani who moved to Oakland.

	29-10-2003 05:43									#5
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Ah well, all the best ones get recycled...

	29-10-2003 05:45									#6
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Maybe they'll do one about Cincinnati, we could do with a star QB - as usual!

	29-10-2003 05:56									#8
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Problem is, I'm not sure whether you're laughing at the joke, or my comment about the Bengals...

We just won our first back to back games since 2001! YAAAAY!

	29-10-2003 08:44									#9
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We could have Jesus Christ at quarterback, newly risen, converting me and all my atheist brethren, and the Lions would still go 3-13.

Because we still need a goddamned running game... and offensive line... and receivers who can catch the damned ball... and a secondary who can actually cover receivers...

****ing Lions...

	29-10-2003 09:50									#11
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what the **** is up mobius

Jobn :M;i;iler

	29-10-2003 12:06									#12
	Re: Baghdad not so bad after all! Tired of ads?

quote: Originally posted by MOBIUS Is this true Sneak? Coach Steve Mariucci had put together the perfect Detroit Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Baghdad. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Iraqi soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window 200 yards away - ka boom! "I've got to get this guy!" Mariucci said to himself. "He has the perfect arm." So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football and the Detroit Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history. The young Iraqi is lionized as the Great Hero of football, and when Mariucci asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl." "I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son." "I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans." "No, let me tell you," the mother retorts, "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was kidnapped in broad daylight." The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says ". . . I'll never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."

	29-10-2003 17:22									#13
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detroit's not so bad... i mean, it's at least cooler on average than baghdad.

	29-10-2003 19:26									#14
	Tired of ads?

quote: ". . . I'll never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."

I need to go above and beyond the "liberal media filter"and report that it's not that bad.

I've been broken into 3 times, car vandalized, chased home a few times.

But Hey, new businesses are sprouting up (pawn shops, quik check-cashing, casinos), and these attacks are just signs of a last ditch attempt of a few irregulars in the face of progress, freedom, and democracy.


{please invade us, we could use the money)

	29-10-2003 19:32									#15
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quote: Originally posted by Guynemer We could have Jesus Christ at quarterback, newly risen, converting me and all my atheist brethren, and the Lions would still go 3-13. Because we still need a goddamned running game... and offensive line... and receivers who can catch the damned ball... and a secondary who can actually cover receivers...

But Jesus is almighty.

	29-10-2003 19:36									#16
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no, detroit still sucks. any city that needs a kickass robocop to hunt down criminals during a riot is still far too dangerous and sucky.