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Alex
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Brasil
Mar 1999
time: 02:31
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Answers:
"Why is it that when I buy hard cookies they get soft and when I buy soft cookies they get hard?"
The hard cookies are made of substances that get soft in contact with air, and the soft cookies are made of substances that get hard in contact with time.
"Why do Kamikazees wear helmets?"
Why not?
"When people say:"just a second" it NEVER takes a second."
That's because everyone thinks that one second is much longer than it actually is.
"When I call a company and the IVR tells me:' Your call is very important to us...'. How do they know, they dont even know who is calling...and they dont even know WHY I'm calling....And if it WAS important somebody would be there to answer me."
They just want to make you feel better, because almost no one calls a company to praise it.
"Why do women speek a whole different language than us. Like no means yes and yes means no, kitchen is awfully small means I want an other house, turn off the lights and be romantic means my tighs are fat and I dont want you to see them and so on...."
They're from Venus, we're from Mars.
"When poeple say:' how's it going?!' they really dont give a ****. And on top of that people always answer yes beacause if they ever say 'No...' they know they'll have to start a conversation."
In the pre-historic times, people used to say "gruff" to each other when they met. Someone thought that "gruff" was not polite enough and said "how's it going?" But he never thought that asking such a thing would demand some sort of answer. But then, those were the pre-historic times.
"When you cross people for the second time in the day at the office instead of saying "Hi!" again you just give them the mandatory Eyebrow and on the third time you just try to avoid eye contact?"
Because every human being likes diversity.
"if sunflower oil is made from sunflowers, and olive oil is made from olives, what do they make baby oil from?"
You'll be grateful for not knowing the answer to this. 
"Why is the word abbreviation so long?"
It is not that long, the things it describes are way too short.
"What's another word for thesaurus?"
Things.
"What do people say they are going to "take a sheit" when the actually leave one?"
Because it is better to leave one saying that you're going to take it than the contrary.
"Why is it 'a pair of pants' or a 'pair of glasses' but not 'a pair of shirt'?"
Because someone one day had the idea to join two pieces of pants and two pieces of glass, but the shirt were always one thing only.
"Why do people say 'What's up?'? What they hell kind of question is that?!"
It means: "what is it that is fluctuating right here right now, hung in the air like particles of dust or notes of a song?"
"Why do Europeans drive on the left side of the road and everyone else on the right?"
Already answered.
"Also, whose idea was it to put an 's' in 'lisp'?"
I have no idea, but maybe someone could give you a tisp.
"What does it feel like to feel 'like a cup of tea'?"
Wet and hot at five o'clock.
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29-10-2003 20:21
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