02-11-2003 18:18									#1
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@echo off
dir /w /o:gn
echo.

	02-11-2003 18:38									#2
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Well, after 5 years going out with my fiancee, it is finally over.

It started Monday. She kissed me goodbye in the morning as she went off to work. At midday, I received an sms stating that we were breaking up. Devastated, I tried contacting her to see what exactly was wrong, what could be changed so we could try again . . .

On Thursday I found out that she had been cheating on me.

Well, much anguish and sleeplessness ensued. Today her parents picked up all her stuff from my house. I have always gotten on with my "inlaws", and today wasn't any different. Her father was devastated, disappointed, ashamed at her behaviour, her mother didn't say much but wasn't happy, to say the least.

I almost made it all the way through composed, but broke down just before her father left with the last of her stuff. The betrayal, the fact I am probably never going to see them again, it all just got too much. I ended up given them both a hug before they left. I couldn't find the words to express what I felt - ****, I still don't know what I feel. Much happier than before though, and there is definately relief mixed in there somewhere.

I wish it just didn't have to end like this.

	02-11-2003 18:41									#3
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Let it out, man.

	02-11-2003 18:42									#4
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The other guy she apparently met via irc. Rather than tempt myself to read her irc logs and actually relive her betrayal of me, I formatted her harddrive. Alas that all her pictures of family taken with a digital camera were lost at the same time. The fact that I was feeling vindictive had nothing to do with this decision.

I somehow justified downgrading her Athlon 1000 to an AMD 233 too.

	02-11-2003 18:49									#6
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Anyway, rather than a harddrive full of all the stuff she used to have on it, it only has a single file - dw.bat. This is a file I put on every computer that I work on, my signature if you will. I doubt she will even be able to discover what file(s) are on her computer, but the thought is there.

At the moment, her entire family is disgusted with her. I have always treated her well. All she can probably think of at the moment is talking to this guy on irc, and due to her computer being formatted, that will prove a difficult task. Her father is too disgusted with her to even bother with installing software, she wouldn't know how to do it.
There is some satisfaction in knowing that.

Now single for the first time in my life. Drunk as a skunk too.

I just had to let this out somewhere. I will get through this though. I have the support of my family, friends, even members of her family. And Poly people too.
For that, you have my sincerest thanks.

	02-11-2003 19:46									#7
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I said in the other thread that I was very sorry to hear you guys split up, and I'm even more sorry now I've heard this.

Hang in there buddy, I think I can imagine some of what you must be feeling and I know that I wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy, let alone someone I like and respect as much as you.

You know that quite a few of us met Ally online through you and how much we all liked her. Somehow that makes this thread even more upsetting for me to read. I guess that isn't really anything you want to hear right now, though. I'm shocked that she could treat you like that.

I won't be around here online much for a while, but I want you to know I'll be thinking of you. If you're ever in the UK (or indeed Korea) then you're welcome at my place anytime. We'll go out on the town so you can charm all the lovely foreign lassies with your Aussie accent.

Good luck for the future, mate, you deserve better than this.

	02-11-2003 19:53									#8
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I'm sorry to hear this. What a way to split up aye?
Hang on there... eventually everything will be better.

	02-11-2003 20:33									#9
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That's awful. Personally, I would have had to read those chat logs, since it's the only way I'd be able to cope, by knowing it all, but as for everything else you did, it hardly seems vindictive at all compared to what she did to you. I would have thought she could at least have had the decency to tell you to your face that she was leaving you and why.

I can hardly imagine what your going through, since I've never broken up from such a meaningful relationship, but I know it would devestate me, and my thoughts are with you.

Good luck for the future. As you said, you'll get through this. I just hope it hasn't soured your trust for future relationships. Don't give her that much credit. You deserve better.

	02-11-2003 20:47									#10
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quote: Originally posted by Drogue Personally, I would have had to read those chat logs, since it's the only way I'd be able to cope, by knowing it all

That would just make me go insane, and I guess Skanky felt the same way.

Different people cope in different ways, though. Whatever makes it easier on yourself to get through it is good.

	02-11-2003 20:50									#11
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Yeh, I know some, indeed most people would find it torture, but I couldn't sleep knowing what she'd done, but know knowing why, or how it happened, or indeed all the details. It's a weird thing I have, I cope by knowing every last detail

	02-11-2003 20:51									#12
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I would have destroyed the logs as well. Otherwise I could have find out too much about the other guy and perhaps make new vacation plans and end up in jail.

	02-11-2003 21:05									#13
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I'm not a violent person. I wouldn't be able to hit him even after doing that. But I'm just weird in having to read those

	02-11-2003 21:14									#14
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man, i'm so sorry, skanky... hope things look up soon.

besides, if she cheated on you, she wasn't worth it anyway. at least you found out before nuptials...

	02-11-2003 22:19									#15
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man, that sucks...

	02-11-2003 22:23									#16
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quote: Originally posted by Q Cubed if she cheated on you, she wasn't worth it anyway. at least you found out before nuptials...

Dude, I'm really sorry.

	02-11-2003 22:26									#17
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sorry to hear that man. I know its nowheres near as bad as that but it might help some *shrug*, last month my girlfriend that I had had for a year broke up with me and started going out with one of our mutual friends 2 days later.

	03-11-2003 14:04									#18
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That struck a cord in me, Skanky. That was pretty much the same thing happened to me, oh so long ago. I know how you must feel. The word "betrayed" must be on the list of adjectives.

5 years... oh man, I feel for you.

	03-11-2003 15:28									#19
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Bummer, dude

Hang in there though; it's not your fault.


[BTW: Holy fark, UR is a mod ]

	03-11-2003 15:33									#20
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Sucking up can go a long way.

Actually, I'm hoping that his moderator status will reduce his general racism and bigotry now that he has to serve as a model for other posters.

	03-11-2003 15:35									#21
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Don't even pretend to be strong, keep falling until you hid rock bottom, dwell in it for a little while then slowly climb out of the hole.

And don't become a bitter man because of this, keep your sense og humour, it's your besttest mate at this point.

Good luck mate.

	05-11-2003 19:33									#22
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Sorry man. Many of us have been there, but few after such a long period together.

	05-11-2003 19:44									#23
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that sucks

Jon Miller

	05-11-2003 20:03									#24
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Dude, I'm really sorry to hear this.

I give you props for being confident enough in yourself to open up and post this thread. I don't know you, but I think that must say a lot about you.

	05-11-2003 20:37									#25
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Sorry to hear that

	05-11-2003 21:42									#26
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Its not all bad. I'm moving on with my life, had an interview for a new job today. I have also cleaned up the house (she was a slob) and redecorated. The house has a warmer feel to it despite the fact that only I live here now.

It still hurts though. I both love her and hate her at the moment.

	05-11-2003 22:13									#27
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quote: Originally posted by Skanky Burns Its not all bad. I'm moving on with my life, had an interview for a new job today.

	05-11-2003 22:21									#28
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You seem to have accepted this pretty will Skanky

Perhaps at some level you feel that this is maybe for the best. At least you didn't get stuck in some loveless relationship with her cheating on you for any longer. I would be somewhat thankful that she cared enough to end it before it went on any longer. She can't deny her own feelings, and it sucks that you got dissed for it...

Anyway, it obviously wasn't meant to be, and you are too good of a person to be with someone who doesn't/didn't respect you.

Be strong, sounds like you have hit a crossroad in life. Enjoy the excitement of the unknown. God knows the duldrums life can hand out.

	06-11-2003 02:48									#29
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Gosh, it's harsh

You'll rationalize it out, and get the positive out of it soon enough. But for now, there is nothing wrong nor shameful in mourning about it and getting drunk.

What strikes me the most is the IRC thing. I understand that singles can be desperate enough to get hooked on IRC, but fiancees ?????

	06-11-2003 03:28									#30
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Dude, that bites!