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Vander
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Privateering in Idaho
May 2003
time: 22:33
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SALUTES AND SALUTATIONS, COMRADES!
WELCOME TO PRAVDA! TRUTH FROM THE ABSOLUTE SOURCE OF IT! WE ALL ARE EQUAL, BUT DON'T FORGET THAT SOME ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS!
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IN THIS ISSUE:
- What a year it was!
- The Chairman resigns!
- Counter-Revolutionary documents!
- Explosions!
- Mystery!
- Special CyCon Commentary section!
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A LOOK BACK TO 2152:
"It was the year of fire" -- Drogue
CyCon troops firing on Tripoli, PEACE capital
"The year of destruction" -- Hercules
Tripoli falls to CyCon
"The year we took back what was ours." -- Jamski
Jamski supporters seize offices of PRAVDA
"It was the year of rebirth" -- Ocatvian
Third Constitutional Congress in session
"The year of great sadness" -- Dacole
Empty offices of Shadow Ministry
"The year of pain" -- HongHu
HongHu and Kody say farewell
"And the year of joy." -- Claire
Jamski and Claire kiss
"It was a new age" -- Enigma
Chairman's resignation papers sitting on desk in empty office
"It was the end of history" -- Voltaire
Jamski's trial hearing
"It was the year everything changed." -- Mead
Voltaire looking down from balcony on protesters
"The year is 2152"
"The place: Human Hive." [/QUOTE]
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COMRADE VOLTAIRE RESIGNS!
by Comrade Octavian X
In a surprise move, in order to allow for democratic elections to occur for the position of Chairman of the Central Committing Committee of the Human Hive.
This unprecedented actions comes at a time of great turmoil within the Hive, as it struggles gloriously to form a new government for her people.
We can only hope a new Chairman is elected soon to lead the Hive in this period of transition toward a better future for the Hiverian people.
Glory to the Hive!
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ENIGMISTIC TEACHINGS DECLARED COUNTER-REVOLUTIONARY!
by Comrade Micha
During the last decade our glorious faction has seen the rise of a man, who teached the ideas of elite leadership and the need of independent thought by each and every single individual within the state.
Although no real Hiverian fell for that incitement of the people, there may be some whose mental integrity is not as strong. For those it shall be clarified:
The Enigmistic theories directly oppose the foundations of the Hive, they pose a threat to the inner security of our glorious and mighty faction. Therefor those teachings have been outlawed and declared counter-revolutionary. Reading it, listening to it and especially teaching it are acts of treason and will be treated as such.
Whenever a loyal citizen stumbles across Enigmistic literature or even followers, he/she has to immediately report to the closest Crimson Guard Department.
Down with the enemies of the state! Long live the Hive! Long live Chairman Voltaire!
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LARGE EXPLOSION IN CENTRAL HIVE SHAFT!
by Comrade Octavian X
Today, at 1837.8766.678f87.040.01101010.42 Hive Central New Unified Time, a explosion occurred in The Hive's Central Shaft. The explosion came from Room 1501 of the People's Government Building, according to reports.
Room 1501 adjoins Room 16789, which is the office of Magistrate and Foreign Relations Commissioner Comrade Octavian X. When reached for comment, he denied responsibility.
However, sources close to the Commissioner indicate that 1501 was the room used for the production of his secret xenodoughnut stash. When reporters from PRAVDA studied the xenodoughnut process, it was found that if mindworms were not kept at the correct temperature for the process, they may spontaneously combust.
In a related story, for no reason nor logical explanation, Comrade Octavian X was found to actually be a large xenollama.
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G**** FOUND!
by Comrade Vev
Hive officials have announced the capture of the elusive G**** amongst the tunnels during a routine check. Local eyewitness reported at a large contingent of Crimson Guard arrive to collect the G****. "Yeah it was a huge G****, never seen anything like that before." This view has been confirmed by other eyewitnesses. "I say them pull the G**** into the truck. The G**** fought back hard."
Meanwhile rumors of more G**** have been reported although authorities have confirmed them to be hoaxes and advises to ignore them and continue working as normal.
G**** Found!
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HIGH RANKED PRISONER ESCAPES!!
by Comrade Vander
During an unprecedented second trial for the treasonous Comrade Jamski, a lapse in prison security resulted in said anti socialite's escape from his holding cell. Although a manhunt was informally arranged, there has been no formal declaration from the CCC as to what to do. It is blatantly obvious to this reporter that the CCC is just taking a break from their very stressful jobs of keeping us safe; so their is no need to worry that the CCC is protecting their former member.
When asked for an opinion, Chairman Voltaire was said to have 'scoffed' at the accusations. "Who is this 'Jamski?' I do not know what you are talking about." Chief Editor Vander had this to reply, "He must be tired. Why would the Chairman forget one of his best Comrades?"
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COMRADE VOLTAIRE ELECTED NEW CHAIRMAN!
by Comrade Octavian X
Comrade Voltaire was elected to the position of Chairman, beating our other candidates Octavian X and Enigma_Nova. Voltaire received 5 votes; Enigma and Octavian garnered 1 a piece.
Glory to Chairman Voltaire!
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OTHER HEADLINES:
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- Writer mysterious only writes headline, neglects to write article
- Many CPU VidScreens stolen, owners told to go "on memory"
- Adam Smith voted "Evilest man ever" by recent Hive pole.
- We're better than you.
- Yin found to be less enlightened than Yang.
- One word in this issue of PRAVDA is misspelled
- The New Chairman's approval rating starts of at the improbable 133,574%
- PRAVDA staff voted "Best staff ever" in recent survey of Hiverian News organs
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SPECIAL CYCON COMMENTARY SECTION
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CYCON CLAIMS SPAM IS WRONG!
by Comrade Vander
In a recently published issue of 3D, the CyCon claimed that Synthetic Precreated Analytical Messaging (SPAM) was threatening the life of our Planet. They purpose that SPAM will cause complete environmental failure of the ecosystem on Planet.
Yet be reassured, loyal citizens, that the CyCon's CRAP team has given you nothing but misinformation. The genuine Hivierian SPAM factories pose no threat whatsoever to our great, controlled land. The CyCon are afraid of our great factories. "They, 'Don't want to be behind the Hive.' Let it be known, citizens, that they will see nothing but our ***!" So said a Mid- Level Military Commander. Whether that will happen or not, rest assured that PRAVDA will be there!
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HIVERIAN THOUGHTS ON "FREEDOM", a commentary by Comrade Frankychan
While skimming through the Datalinks, an article was discovered by another faction dealing with such things as inter-faction language barriers. The excerpt is as follows:
Let the information given in this declaration be an official description of Hiverian culture so that it may spread throughout the Datalinks.....
...The truth of the matter is that there is a word in the Hiverian language as "freedom". The Hiverian usage is not, however, used flippantly as was the case earlier. "Freedom", in the Hiverian sense, is the freedom from fear; freedom from trivial materialism; freedom from loneliness; Essentially, "freedom" is freedom from fear.
The defunct Peacekeeper faction used the term "freedom" to express itself as a faction that individuals can do whatever they please.... as one can now see, their individualistic mentality has led them to extinction. One can deduce which faction's operational definition of "freedom" is more superior.
This statement should be taken as a testament to the Hive's methodological thinking. We are not the barbarians that other factions have portrayed us in the past, our enlightened society only wishes to bring a different option of existence to humanity.
Therefore, we declare that the reputation the Hive has had as "chaotic" and "dysfunctional" is no more. The people of the Hive are united as a single, divine entity.
Simply put...... "With one voice, The Hive speaks." [/QUOTE]
Last edited by Vander on 30-01-2004 at 05:52
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Mead
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Late Breaking News
Shocking news has broken too late to get in to the recently posted Pravda.
Pravda publishes an exclusive scoop.
JAMSKI GETS OFF!!!
For the second time in a row, Comrad Jamski has successfully, without any assistance from anyone else, got himself off.
The man is a wonder, a machine, say court spectators.
An extract of the official trial transcript follows:
The People v. Jamski - Case No. 2151-01
THE PEOPLE'S SUPREME COURT DISMISS ALL CHARGES
We, THE PEOPLE'S SUPREME COURT (Magistrate Octavian, Magistrate Mead, and Magistrate Vander),
Unanimously DISMISS all charges against one Defendant Comrade Jamski.
The State has been given ample opportunity to prosecute the Defendant, but, has chosen not to do so.
The Defendant's right to a Speedy Trial has been violated.
The Court considers it to be a grave injustice to continue this trial against the Defendant.
The Court Rules:
That the Defendant be released from any and all forms of restraint.
All freedoms and rights of the Defendant previously suspended as a result of these proceedings are Restored.
Court Costs and the Reasonable Attorney's fees of the Defendant are to be paid by the State.
IF THIS COURT DOES NOT HEAR A REQUEST FOR RECONSIDERATION WITHIN 48 HOURS OF THIS POST, THIS DECISION WILL BE FINAL.
The Court would consider reconsidering its decision only if very, very good cause is shown. From what this Court has seen to date, we suspect that the State will be unable to persuade us to reconsider.
THE PEOPLE'S SUPREME COURT
No request for reconsideration was received and the Court's decision became final. Comrad Jamski is now a free man.
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Illuminatus
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Salvaging Unity Fusion Core
Jul 2003
time: 06:33
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quote:
Originally posted by Vander
CYCON CLAIMS SPAM IS WRONG!
by Comrade Vander
In a recently published issue of 3D, the CyCon claimed that Synthetic Precreated Analytical Messaging (SPAM) was threatening the life of our Planet. They purpose that SPAM will cause complete environmental failure of the ecosystem on Planet.
Yet be reassured, loyal citizens, that the CyCon's CRAP team has given you nothing but misinformation.
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I OBJECT!  CyCon does not claim this! Report was made by Chiron`s Anarchist Radical Planetologists which are an indenpendent organisation!
quote:
Originally posted by obstructor Chiron`s Radical Anarchist Planetologists, or C.R.A.P., have recently published study about the state of Chiron`s ecosystem. According to study, Hive produces 87.55 percent of total annual spam. If this rate continues, Hive`s spam will most likely cause permanent ecodamage to environment, and may trigger raising global sea levels. If Hive does not reduce quantity of spam, this will most likely occur in next ten mission years. CyCon`s United Planetologists, or C.U.P., are indifferent towards this study.
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As it can be seen, C.U.P. does not support this indenpendent report! C.R.A.P. team is not of CyCon origin or in any way supported! We are not responsible for this misinformation!
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Main_Brain
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Economic World Center
Jul 2002
time: 06:33
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Forward! Forward to the VIctory of Communism.
Never look back.
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All times are GMT. The time now is 05:33.
Apolyton Time is 00:33. |
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30-01-2004 05:12
), if it is in PRAVDA, it´s true. End of discussion. 
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