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ZargonX
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Space
Sep 2002
time: 00:34
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We're Golden!
Legopolis-With the recent completion of Magellean's Expedition in Jackson (which celebrates the noble, drunken voyage of Brickerton Magellean from his bathtub to the Southern Legos Ocean, blindfolded), the citizens of Legoland were thrilled to hear that analysts had declared they had entered their "Golden Age."
Despite some initial confusion as to whom these "analysts" were, and whom they were employed by, the citizenry soon decided to accept their happy, golden state. Instantly, productivity and income shot up dramatically, for no easily determinable reason. Experts attributed the boost to a general sense of "awesomeness."
There were nay-sayers, however. Prof. Klikken Klak of the Univ. of Karina had this to say: "This is the most artificially created set of economic and industrial circumstances I have ever seen! A "golden age!?" Simply because we built some gaudy statue? That's as ridiculous as having one based on something like a military victory of some sort of "unique unit!" Absurd!"
"Despite the smell of whisky on his breath, the professor raised some valid points," stated Mayor Kloreep of Kloreepville. "We don't know when this whole golden age thing will end. We really are at the mercy of these mythical analysts. I don't like
that one bit."
Like it or not, the people of Legoland are giving in to the golden age, working harder and more efficiently than ever. Summing up the feelings of his nation, local Jacksonville resident H.G. Drywall had this say: "At times like these, why just place one brick when I can place two!"
Strange Smell Coming from Voxtavia
Invoice- Concern continued to grow today amongst the citizens of the Trans-Legosian peninsula as, for the third consecutive day, a strange odor wafted down from the former lands of Legos Minor. People in the street have described the scent as "kind of sweet," but also with a tinge of "socks, or maybe fish."
No one as yet has been able to determine the source of the offending olfactory vapor, but the mayor of Invoice is considering deploying a team to Voxtavia to consult with the government there for an explanation. In the meantime, citizens are left to wonder "just who did we give our lands to?"
Barbs: Where Have They Gone?
Karina- With the rapid growth of global civilization over the past millenia, many socialogists have begun to question just what exactly has happened to the barbarian populations that used to roam the world.
Some dutiful investigation has led out Daily Blueprint reporters to the city of Karina, where we have discovered a small enclave of former barbarians living among the Lego people, trying to make a fresh start for themselves in this suddenly civil world.
Tharadgar, or as he calls himself now, Dave, currently works for the Karina Mining Guild. He lives with his wife and three children in a small house on the outskirts of town. Tharadgar claims he used to be a chieften of the Big Cliff Rock Tribe who used to terrorize Southern Legos in previous years. "Those days are gone now," he states. "It used to be all about going up into the hills, setting up camp, and occasionally spawning raiding parties to tear up the countryside. Those were good times."
But Tharadgar realized his clan's lifestyle couldn't carry on forever. "We knew the end was coming when we figured out we were incapable of doing anything other than carrying big stone axes or riding horses and carrying spears. I mean, those Numidians had been trouble since the beginning, but when the knights showed up! Hell, we knew it was time to pack it in and call it a day."
Tharadgar says he enjoys his pastoral lifestyle these recent years, but he does feel the occasional longing for the days of old. "Work is great, and the pay is good... but there's something about lurking in a mountain range, waiting for the perfect moment to go tear up a road or threaten a construction team." And though civilization seems to have beaten his barbarous people, he still holds on to faint glimmers of hope. "I heard there was some stuff going on over on that Bob continent that opened up a lot of space where some cities used to be. Maybe some of the boys will try to get the old crew back together. It's something to think about..."
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26-02-2004 22:11
Just raising a theoretical.
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