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Arrian
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Kneel before Grog!
Jul 2001
time: 00:34
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Hurricane, April 11th, 670AD:
The Cardinal of Hurricane announced the excommunication of a man known as Arrianus Copernicus for his "unholy blasphemy against Holy Mother Church." Unconfirmed sources in the Church of Espana though the measure overly harsh.
"This Copernicus fellow is meddling with God's TRUTH!" cried Cardinal Theseus at the outdoor Easter service held in front of the Church of God's Holy Light (formerly the Great Lighthouse of Hurricane). He went on to add that hellfire and damnation would surely be Dr. Copernicus' reward for his evil ways. The Cardinal was reacting to news that Dr. Copernicus had recently concluded that the earth actually revolved around the Sun, not vice-versa.
Copernicus has released a statement that expressed sadness at his excommunication and professed loyalty to the Church, though he stood by his theory.
Let them come
Sources within the Church reportedly stated that the Church may attempt to bring Mr. Copernicus before an inquisatory council. When informed of the threat, Arrianus replied: "Let them come! I'll fortify the Observatory. The spirit of Grog is with me!" When it was pointed out that Grog died a rather unfortunate death, badly outmatched by his opponent, Arrianus responded "details, details."
It is unclear at this time how the public will react to the turmoil. Church membership has been dropping fast since the dark days of the War on Bob, and may not have the public support necessary to carry out its threats against Dr. Copernicus, particularly if the Church of Espana does not support its southern counterpart.
(c) Hurricane Press. All rights reserved.
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01-03-2004 22:24
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