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Master Zen
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of naughty
Jan 2003
time: 23:35
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The Glory of War
Brought to you by the GoW Office of Misconsfusion
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Introduction
Background
The Glory of War is one of the four nations which originated in the continent known as Bob (or Borconia in Arab). Born out of a collection of loosely assembled smelly feudal cavemen lords in the hills northwest of the continent, the empire now spreads from coast to coast incorporating most of the former territory of Lux Invicta and some Neu Demogyptican lands. Main events in the history of GoW include the Luxian War in which it was a late participant (notable only in the capture and subsequent slavery of the Luxian leader, Trip) and the Great Bobian War where, allied with its southern neighbor, defeated the armies of Spain and the Gathering Storm. Today GoW remains a significant military and economic power and is rapidly industrializing though most of its inhabitants still cant speak or spell, still bonk each other in the head with dull clubs and axes just for the fun of it, consider shaving their backs and asses (as well as their women's beards) a national pastime, and most importantly, still do not shower often.
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Geography
Location: Northern Bob, bordering both western and eastern oceans.
Boundaries: With Neu Demogyptica to the south, largest land border in the world.
Climate: "It's raining cavemen!"
Terrain: Vast central plain, hills in the northwest and northeast, major mountain range define the border with ND. Very rocky and hilly smaller island to the west.
Elevation Extremes:
Lowest point: Trip's slave latrine -3 m
Highest point: Master Zen's ego (unmeasureable, rumored at 10,000 m)
Natural Resources: Iron, saltpeter, coal, gold, timber, fossilized poo-poo
Natural Hazards: GhengisFarb's horse carriage's driving in the streets of Imperial City constitute the greatest natural hazard in the nation.
Environmental Issues: Excessive farting causing major air pollution in principal cities.
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People
Population: Some say too many...
Net Migration Rate: 1% constituting people who dislike showering around the world
Nationality:
noun:: Glorious Warmonger(s)
adjective: Warmongering
Ethnic Groups:
84% - Smelly Rednecks*
12% - Arab descendant
4% - Voxian descendant
*there are small amounts of Luxian descendents, mostly assimilated, scattered around the east, Luxian women are frequently found in brothels around the nation.
Religions:
88% - Cult of Mars
12% - Islamic
Languages:
84% - Warmongerian*
12% - Arabic
4% - Persian
*scattered traces of Turkish in former Lux lands
Literacy: There's like 9-10 guys that can read and write
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Government
Country Name:
conventional long form: The Glory of War
abbreviation: GoW
conventional Spanish: Those backstabbing bastards
Government: Imperial Republic, strong authoritarian tradition
Capital: Imperial City (duh)
Administrative Divisions: 4 Provinces and 1 District: Homeland, Dreadlands, Isolationa, Zensibar Island and Imperial District (Imperial City and Camp Cod/Camp Concord)
Dependent Areas: Neu Demogyptica None
National Holiday: V-B Day (Victory in Bob Day). Date forgotten.
Legal System: Guy with the biggest you-know-what wins
Suffrage: Not yet...
Executive Branch:
Chief of state: Master Zen (since almost 400 years ago)
Legislative Branch: Democracy is for weenies
Judicial Branch: Supreme You-know-What Measurement Court resolves all disputes
Political Parties and Leaders: Evil Plan Party (Master Zen), Generals-Who-Now-Cook Party (Aggie), Blockheads (Panzer32), F.U.G.S. Party (UnOrthOdOx), House of Farb (GhengisFarb)
More to come
Last edited by Master Zen on 14-04-2004 at 07:37
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Master Zen
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of naughty
Jan 2003
time: 23:35
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Economy
Overview:
GoW ranks among the "big-four" economically developed empires in the world. The advent of new technologies has resulted in new improvements to the standard of living like railroads and factories. Many other consumer goods, however, are not to be found due to lack of demand. These include: toothpaste, soap, shampoo, deodorant, perfume, pens, pencils, paper, books, nail clippers, toilet paper, kleenex.
GDP: Don't you wish you'd knew...
Industries: Ship-building, guns, rail cars, guns, carriages, guns, wood products, guns, mining equipment, guns, fertilizers, guns, iron products, guns. Oh, did we forget to mention guns?
Agricultural Products: Wheat, beef, dairy products, fish, whales, deer, pork, rats, dogs, cats, mice, roaches, flies.
Exports: Largest wine-producing nation. Intoxicating the world since the dawn of time.
Currency: Whatever you can come up with (even your wives and kids)
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Transportation
Railways: Worlds longest railway extends from Trafalgar to Port Isolation, connects with most major cities in the Homeland province.
Highways: Everywhere
Ports and Harbors: Trafalgar, Leviathan, Resolute, Port Isolation are the major ports.
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Military
Military Branches: Imperial Cavalry, Imperial Artillery, Imperial Guards, People's Army, Imperial Navy.
Military Manpower: males and females age 1-100.
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Transnational Issues
International Disputes: GoW claims the entire world as part of its territory. This claim is not recognized by either ND, GS, Lego, Vox or Roleplay.
Illicit Drugs: Civilization III, the most adictive drug ever invented, widely consumed by the GoW leadership.
Last edited by Master Zen on 14-04-2004 at 09:26
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Theseus
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The warmonger formerly known as rpodos. Gathering Storm! Apolyton Spirit!!
Apr 2002
time: 00:35
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quote:
Originally posted by Master Zen
Agricultural Products: Wheat, beef, dairy products, fish, whales, deer, pork, rats, dogs, cats, mice, roaches, flies.
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What??!! No chickens?! 
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Apolyton Time is 00:35. |
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14-04-2004 05:42
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