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UnOrthOdOx
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Hello....
Jun 2002
time: 22:35
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Keeping the lurkers informed and the regulars entertained since 3700 BC -------------- April 13, 2850 BC
Consular Elections
Togas Ticket Totally Triumphant
In Apolyton’s first consular election, it would appear that, barring unforeseen circumstances, Togas will be acclaimed for another term. Given his strong leadership, this is great news for Apolyton. I was able to track him down for an interview.
Beta – Togas, first let me congratulate you on your second term.
Togas – Thank you. I am very much looking forward to tackling the challenges facing Apolyton in the months ahead.
Beta – But I have to ask, for the fashion column, what will you be wearing to the election victory party at the Tajma Hall next week.
Togas – A toga.
Beta – A Togas’ Togas toga, or just a toga?
Togas – Is there any other kind of toga?
Beta – well, I thought that when you entered politics, Togas, that you relinquished total interest in your business endeavors, including your 95% ownership of Togas’ Togas?
Togas – I did indeed. I turned total responsibility for Togas’ Togas over to my son, Togas Jr. And this was tough, especially given the tight competition in the toga industry from Totally Togas and Togas For Two.
Beta – but Togas, don’t you think touting a Togas’ Togas toga to the Tajma Hall means you are using your office for advertising purposes?
Togas - Are you suggesting that I should wear a Totally Togas toga to the Tajma.
Beta – Just asking?
Togas – I think I am well within my ethical rights to wear a Togas’ Togas toga to the Tajma
Beta – And you are sure about this?
Togas - Totally.
- Beta
Apolyton
Vice City?
Morality. Health. Freedom of choice. And colors.
These were all hot topics in the council debate this week regarding where our next city should go. Dominae, clearly recognized as a leading urban planner, recommended the tobacco plains to the south east. This ignited the debate, with Octavian X raising the issue that Apolyton would then have ready access to both wine and tobacco, and what this will mean for the long-term health of our civilization. Conmcb25 scoffed at Octavian’s suggestion, citing ‘freedom of choice for all’, and arguing that it would be good for the morale of the population. “Morale! Morale! Screamed Ovtavian. It will do nothing for morale. Tobacco is not gems, nor spices, nor dyes. But it will clearly affect morality, as our citizens give into this evil weed. Just ask both our religious and medical authorities.” The conversation then took a weird twist, when public servant and Deputy Minister of the interior Rhothaerill arose from the his seat on the side benches to inform the council that we do not yet know anything about medicine, and thus it would be hard to assess the full impact of the effects of tobacco. conmcb took this to imply that if we never acquired medicine, we would never get sick, and could indulge in whatever pleasures we felt like. He actually went so far as to initiate a motion banning Apolyton from ever acquiring medicine. The council fell into chaos.
Togas finally brought some order to the session with his recommendation that we could side-step the entire tobacco debate by settling on the ‘red’ site. There was clearly relieved consensus on this point until GodKing, Minister of the Interior explained that the site was not really red, but pink. Beta, the Minister of Foreign Affairs waded into the debate stating that the site was clearly fuchsia, and that perhaps some basic education in colors was required.
It was a long week in council. But the people should feel secure in the knowledge that Apolyton’s leadership is on top of things.
- Beta
Peace!
Doves 14 Hawks 8.
Ah, it was quite the see-saw battle recently regarding our status towards our first neighbors in the world – CDG – otherwise known as the Elucidians. The Hawks were out in force early, and when the first poll asked what our stance should be towards CDG, the Hawks put a sound beating on the Doves by a margin of 18 to 7. Big Free, Uber Krux and Donegeal all came up big for the Hawks, with Big Free’s “I say we take this golden opportunity against a rival.” perhaps being the critical point in the match. Togas and Beta put up a dogged defense in favor of peace, but they were no match on this day for the aggressive offense of the Hawks. Also of note, Oracle Aidun put in a special half-time appearance, but his message was very unclear, and the restless crowd was only appeased when he accidentally or otherwise, pulled the cloak off of Helen, who was also on stage for the event.
It was a different story the next week, however, with the Doves obviously regrouping. It is not clear if it was due to the fact that a firm tech deal was added to the discussion, or whether the Doves had just done their homework and showed up with a better game plan. But whatever the reason, the Doves were clearly rejuvenated. They got off to an early start and never looked back – soundly trouncing the Hawks 14-8. Donegeal, Big Free, and Paddy all put in solid efforts for the Hawks, with the latter’s “thrash the buggers”, perhaps being their best shot of the day. But the Doves’ momentum was just too much, and with GodKing leading the charge with his ‘give peace a chance’ strategy, the day was won for the Doves. It will be peace with CDG. For now.
The half-time event of the second match was clearly a let down, with the Acropolis Junior Academy drum and trumpet and spear twirling band clearly not living up expectations set by the previous week’s excitement.
-Beta
Uber Krux searches for an Apprentice
In continuing his search for a deputy minister for war, Uber Krux is nearing the end of his months’ long competition for an Apprentice. Many Apolytonians were at the Krux Tower military academy last week, and able to observe the following:
(Uber Krux is seated in the boardroom., so called because of the large planked table which dominates it. His trusted advisors are to his left and right. Across the table from him sit the three hopefuls: UnOrthOdOx, Big Free, and Donegeal.)
Uber Krux: So, gentlemen, two of you get to stay, and unfortunately, I have to fire one of you. Big Free, why should I keep you over UnO.
BF: Well, Mr. Krux, I’m a fighter and he’s a writer.
Uber Krux: UnO, is this true.
UnO: Mr. Krux, it is true, I am a writer. And a damn fine one. But I can also fight. Just look at my resume and what I did in my previous position. I butchered an entire Spanish city.
Uber Krux: And you Donegeal, what do you think of your two colleagues.
Donegeal: (with his head and eyes twitching). Fine fellows. Both great candidates.
Uber Krux: (Looking left and right at his advisors – and then left again at the blonde female advisor, wearing a bronzed breast plate and casually flicking her long hair back over her shoulder. His gaze returns to the candidates.) This is the toughest decision I have had to make yet. All of you have good war records – with lots of blood on your resumes. You have all shown flashes of leadership.
Big Free, I gotta tell you, this “Hungry Men” hang up you have is very bizarre, but you clearly want to fight, and there is this relentless, maybe I should say, stubborn, quality about you that would be great in battle.
UnOrthOdOx, you also appear to have problems letting go. Look at this long-standing rivalry with one Mr. WIA. When is that going to end? And Big Free raised a good point. It is not clear whether you like the quill more than the sword. But, you clearly embrace the glory of war, and no one else in this competition has butchered an entire city. That will be a quality that Apolyton will need one day.
Donegeal, you have done well in this competition. Your riding skills are legendary. You have the respect of your peers. (UnO and BF both nod). But, Donegeal, you are a loose cannon, and we have not even invented those yet. This “Mad King” label follows you around like an albatross. I’m not sure the Apolyton military could afford to take a chance on you.
So Donegeal, I have to say, you’re fired.
(Note – this is a work of fiction – and in no way should be taken as an accurate or even suggested assessment of the civ3 military capabilities of the individuals involved. Beta.)
The Science File
MR WIA’s Cross-Breeding Program Successful
(An interview with one of Apolyton’s leading thinkers.)
Beta: So, MWIA, tell me, what led you to this research in the first place.
MWIA: Well, it was the discovery of elephants that started it. You see, we only had cows for a number of years, and I thought that was the extent of potential mammalian genetic variation. Nature had sort of pulled the wool over our eyes, so to speak. Then we discovered these larger, tusked creatures, And that put my mind to working on possibilities. Yes, the possibilities.
Beta: But why THIS new creature?
MWIA: You see, cows are pretty ugly, and elephants, well, they are waaaaay too big. I also came across something we have called goats, and they were close, but just not quite right. So, I feel a bit sheepish about this, but when I came up with the perfect cross-breed, well, it was more accident than design. But it is perfect. Don’t you think.
Beta: Can you explain this further for our readers?
MWIA: (somewhat exasperated). Well – look at it. It’s cute. It’s a perfect height and shape. It has this furry stuff to grab hold of, and which may have some sort of commercial value eventually. In the meantime, I think I will retire to the hill sides to continue with my breeding program.
Beta: Ah. Ok, then. But one last question. What was your first observation upon successfully breeding this animal. Was it a “Eureka”, like your other scientific colleague.
MWIA: “Eureka” ???. No, nothing like that. I simply looked at her and exclaimed: “Ewe, you’re the one.”
- Beta
UnOrthOdOx Missing
Another "Real Life" abduction?
Another member of the Apolyton team has gone missing in action. UnOrthOdOx appears to have wandered away yet again.
"Oh, I'm sure he'll turn up. MrWIA and he were out on a drinking contest again the other night shortly after MrWIA had completed his latest experiments. Obviously in celebration. Chances are you'll find him stumbling around well outside of town again, we all know he can't hold his drink." Beta claimed.
Other's have a more skeptic view that this is yet another abduction by the so-called "Real Life". First there was Paddy the Scott and his resignation, then there was Dominae's strange dissappearance, and now UnOrthOdOx goes MIA.
Asked about the growing concern of this "Real life", some of our leaders had this to say:
"While I personally do not rule out other dimensions such as this "Real Life", I am skeptical and would not say base anything on it" - Kloreep
" I don't know what your talking about. Really. I just do whatever the food nazis tell me to do." - Togas
- UnOrthOdOx
Last edited by UnOrthOdOx on 14-04-2004 at 18:10
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14-04-2004 07:00
Okay not really, but I just want to see what UnO does. 
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