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The Book of Clem: Chapter One
At the dawn of time, near the edge of the Great Shadow Lake, along the shore of the Endless Sea arose a people of distinction. Their leader was a tall, rail-thin man of about thirty winters. His thick, curly brown hair and knowledge of the secrets of road-building and irrigation marked him as a leader of men. The people of Carthage proclaimed him their ruler and renamed their settlement Clem City in his honor. He taught them to build roads. He taught them to irrigate the land. He created a class of wise elders who soon taught the people the wonders of Masonry and the Alphabet. They loved him for his knowledge and wisdom. They worshipped him as a god.
But truth be told, it was mostly because of the hair. He had really nice hair.
The people of Clem City irrigated their farms, built roads to move goods, erected masonry buildings for shelter and accounted for everything on tablets drawn in the 37 letter alphabet of Clem. They told tales of the old gods who dwelt in the very same lands, and searched for their lost cities in warrior bands. They walked through the sugarcane fields and corralled the wild Auroch taming the beast that would be the first domesticated animal outside the poultry family. Clem named the creature after his long lost grandmother. It would forever be known to his people as; the Cow.
The 7 and ¼ gods of the ancient world had gifted Clem with immortality, that he may guide his people through the darkness of the future and lay claim to the very world. They chose a second man, with less cool hair to act as the herald of Clem to record the wisdom and accomplishments of the Chosen one. That man’s name was little Dave. Little because he would always be a lesser to the great Clem, and Dave because ‘D’ was the fifth letter of the alphabet where as ‘C’ was the third.
Where Clem went always little Dave would follow with masonry tablets and a chisel he would forever enshrine the great history of Clem. Where Clem dwelled a mud hut would be built to house Dave. When the leaders of the armies were to be chosen, Dave would chisel everything Clem ordered down on tablets. When choosing whores, Dave got one for every three of Clems. Clem’s table was forever rich with the meats of the Cow, the sugar of the cane-fields and the roots of the alchemy that was agriculture. Dave would get one of the three, his choice.
So it was that I came to the town of Clem City on the continent of South Trevvale at the Edge of the Endless Sea, for I am that man, the herald of Clem, the Pony of Carthage, the Great Chiseler, the mud hut dwelling madman of Shadow Lake; I am little Dave.
Civilization had begun. This is the story of Clem.
“The lake of Shadows can be crossed in small boats and the fish that dwell there are a refreshing change from the constant repast of cow. But, beware of the Endless Sea, for it is a trackless place of misery and death. No man sails far from the land without being set upon by the mammoth denizens of the deep. Long clawed tendrils rip apart the wood and toss those unfortunates they find over the edge of the world and down into the fiery pits of hell itself. This, my friends, is the difference between a lake and an ocean.”
The Great Clem, from ‘A Speech on the topic of Geography’ circa the dawn of time.
Xiaodave
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xiaodave
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The Book of Clem: Chapter Two
(0-1250 from the founding of Clem City.)
In the third summer following the founding of Clem City the great prophet dispatched the workers of the City to explore the ruins to the south. It was said that the ancient city was the hall of the dark and ancient gods long lost from this earth. What secrets might they have to teach such lowly ones as ourselves.
The workers looked and dug and translated and evaluated and searched and prodded about with cane sticks. Long did they dwell in the fields to the south and even around the cooking fires of their camp did they continue to discuss the meaning of this object or the purpose of that structure. After long discussion and work did they return to Clem in triumph.
“It is a temple to the lost gods, oh great Clem.”
“A temple?”
“Yes, oh ravager of the cane-fields, a place where one may sit and contemplate the many mysteries of the ancient gods.”
“I think it a bit of an excessive walk for that purpose alone. Were there perhaps any weapons lying about?”
“I am truly sorry, oh tamer of the beast formerly known as auroch, alas we found no weapons. But we believe that if we constructed such a place here the people might find it somewhat distracting.”
“Distracting?”
“Yes, oh great builder of masonry walls, they may even forgo unrest and revolution as they will be far too busy contemplating the unknowable.”
“Really? Well that might be useful, but I was sort of hoping, you know, given that you spent 97 years on this project that you might have found a better way to sharpen our war sticks?”
“Uh, no, just the temple thingy really. Oh, and we’ve gotten together and we think it might be a good idea to bury the dead. You know instead of just leaving them lie where they fall.”
The great Clem stroked his beard in thought. “Okay, yeah. Now tomorrow I want you all to head west until you find me a more worthy discovery.”
And so it came to be that the workers searched the land beyond the lake of Shadows. For a long time nothing was heard from the workers. Lord Clem ordered a band of warriors be assembled to search the plains to the north. Finally, after many long years of searching, the workers returned in triumph.
“Oh lord of the sky and sun, rejoice in the alchemy of scientific knowledge. The ruins we found in the lands to the west contained the secrets to making these!”
“What is it that you have there, worker.”
“It is called a bowl, oh master of the Cow.”
“And does it sharpen war sticks?”
“Not really, oh bountiful master of the canes, not as such. You put things in it and they stay there, because of the shape you see.”
Clem stroked his beard in thought. “I think I may have made a mistake. Perhaps you would be more suited to say, manual labor. From now on I declare the worker class abandon archeology and instead concentrate on the production of roads and ditches and perhaps the odd bit of mining.”
The workers looked confused at their new place in the world. They had after all been archeologists for almost 20 generations. “What is a mine, oh great lord of the woods and fields?”
“Think of them as bigger ditches, off you go now.”
350 years later the warrior band returned with bows; War sticks you could use from a distance. Lord Clem proclaimed the warrior class above all others. He gave them the workers houses and the workers wives and daughters. All was well in the land.
For 200 years peace and prosperity followed the ascendance of the warrior class. The one night a scout returned with news from the lost wilderness to the north. They came back with tales of a tribe of men call the Iroquois, who it was said were lead by the chosen one of the gods; Hiawatha. Clem, as you might expect, was not pleased.
The god’s did not have only one chosen but apparently two. The ancient gods it seemed, liked to hedge their bets. Fifty years later, during the Millennium celebration in Clem City, a document arrived, carved in stone and carried on a litter borne by a thousand men. It contained an inscription in several disparate alphabets.
“My name is Parsaglevin and I have traveled far and wide and seen the wonders of the very world: The wonders of science and the genius of man. I heretofore declare the most advanced nations of the world to be:
Carthage of Clem
The Inca
The Hittites
The Aztecs
Sumeria
Rome
The Zulu
Spain.”
Clem took no solace in being named the most enlightened ruler in the world. Clem only saw that there were eight now. Eight tribes of man, eight chosen ones. The ancient gods were hedging like they were afraid hedges were going to die out.
A plant to the south had been discovered, when smoked it had certain calming qualities. Clem took to smoking it forty times a day. He ordered a new city to be constructed that the territory of Clem might grow. Two hundred years later the city of Deerwood rose in the northern plains.
For a while Clem felt better as he surveyed his now doubled holdings. He even managed to cut back to 20 leafs a day. But I knew the despair would return, I knew that the darkness would return to haunt the great Clem once again.
You see the thing about that message that had been carved in the Millennium stone. It had been carved in twelve languages.
“Bows were the tools of the gods, it is how they reigned over man in the dark times. Bows allowed the gods to smite men from a distance. With bows the gods could stand, say on that hilltop over there, and if you displeased them with your petty concerns they could simply put a war stick through you from where they sat. Truly the gods were beyond our understanding. We could kill them now though, I’m pretty certain. Perhaps we should practice a little more, just to be sure.”
Lord Clem, “A Discussion of Tactics and Theology” circa 775fcc (founding of Clem City)
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The Book of Clem: Chapter Three
(1250-2800 fcc)
Almost three hundred years had passed since the founding of Deerwood. Clem was erratic; he was prone to days of vision and grandiose plans for the future. He was also prone to fits of glaring out the balcony window smoke-leaf in hand swearing at passing workers for their now ancient betrayal.
Scouts had returned from the north having discovered the Aztec nation. They and the iroquois were a bow propelled warstick from each other in the central basin of North Trevvale. A fortune of geography had favored Clem and his people. A small isthmus of land joined the two continents together and Clem ordered a warrior band stationed there in effort to interdict foreign settlement in the southern continent. Barter with the Aztecs earned us the secrets of Bronze Working.
For a couple hundred years Clem was in a decent mood, we now had warsticks made of metal.
The northern scouts discovered the people of Spain on the heels of the Aztecs. The Spanish were as talentless in the fields of science as had been the Iroquois. A southern explorer located a tribe of barbarian’s eager to swear fealty to Clem, and the city of Cow Vinyard rose to the south of Clem City.
It was soon after that a warrior group returned from the south with a work of genius. The Wheel arrived in Clem City. We were unsure what to use it for, for the first hundred years or so. A game involving a wheel and a warstick was all the rage for a short time. Then we realized what the wheel could accomplish. If you started it rolling at the top of a hill it would keep rolling, gaining speed until it unbalanced itself and fell over.
On the eve of the solstice the people of Clem City would gather at the bottom of the hill and the priests would send the wheel down from the top. Whomever it struck was taken to the center of town and sacrificed to Hemgor, the dark god of Agriculture and flat places.
Our civilization thrived.
In the 1990th year since the founding of our nation the fourth great city was founded. Sugarwheat Harbor rose near where the workers had discovered Pottery so many years before. Wheat was shipped to Clem City and ground using a wheel made of stone. The resulting substance was mixed with milk from the cows and cooked in bowls. Sugar from the cane-fields was then sprinkled on top. Two such cakes were then selected and a slab of spiced cow was placed between. The result was popular beyond belief.
Clem had almost returned to normal with the growing empire and the spiced cowcakes. We held the second Millennium celebration and to my dismay we received a second Millennium stone. This one was carved again in stone and borne on something called a wagon. Apparently wheels could be used for more than cowcakes and ritual sacrifice.
“I Fluindar of Kreeg have traveled the thirteen corners of the world to find the most joyous lands of all:
Spain
Persia
China
Japan
The Aztecs
Carthage of Clem
The Zulu
Rome.”
Clem retreated into a dark world of depression and smokeweed addiction. Not only were we in sixth place, but he noticed there were some names on this list that weren’t on the last one and I was forced to reveal my twelve alphabets/twelve nations theory. Eighty years later Cow Vinyards completed a trade road to bring wine into the capitol. Clem drowned his sorrows in a river of fermented grapes and the smoke of countless southern plants.
Two hundred years later we trade Pottery and the Wheel to Spain for something called Mysticism, which is apparently the science of pretending to know about things you don’t really understand. I was beginning to become concerned that our warrior-scientists were perhaps not the best idea. Twenty-five years later the town of Fort Iroquois was constructed just south of the Isthmus, we had control of the southern continent.
Clem came out of his depression for a few years as the nation rose to five cities. But it wasn’t enough to hold his attention for long. The chosen one of the gods had taken to spicing his smokeweed and had an unnatural appetite for young Iroquois girls. The day to day administration of the Empire was faltering, corruption held sway in the more remote areas such as Fort Iroquois and Cow Vinyard.
And then it came to me. It was my job to carve Clem’s instructions on masonry and dispatch them to the appropriate sectors to complete the jobs. What, I wondered, would happen if I were to just carve a few extra, on my own time? Say when Clem was unconscious in a depraved pile of nubile Iroquois flesh.
I ordered extra workers. We had been struggling along with just the one original group given Clem’s irritation at their almost legendarily ancient inability to provide warstick sharpeners. I also issued an order to do all future writing on papyrus. It was easier to carry and nowhere near as much chiseling.
Three hundred years later we located the Japanese. I shuffled those reports under a rug in the palace antechamber.
One hundred twenty-five years after that our warrior-scientists discovered philosophy, which is really similar to mysticism. They followed that discovery later that same year with the secrets of Polytheism, proving once and for all that the world and all things had been created by the 7 and ¼ gods of the ancient world. I reallocated the warrior scientists to the department of just being warriors. By order of ‘Clem’ we elected to achieve scientific supremacy by utilizing the talents of Scholars, Scribes and other such learned men. A great thinker named Bomilcar arrived in Clem City and organized everything.
Twenty-five years later in the 2725th year of our great Lord Clem we gathered in awe to watch the completion of the Great Pyramids of Clem City. Lord Clem managed to crawl out into the sun every now and again and the land grew. Two great cities rose in the next seventy-five years; Spiceland and the Beastlands.
On the eve of our 2800th year I stood with Clem on the hill used to choose the ritual sacrifices. He was dressed in black and was wearing the grass skirt of one of the Iroquois girls, he had a potters flask of Cow Vinyard in his hand and a length of smokeweed dangling from his mouth.
“This philosophy stuff is great with smokeweed. You should try it, herald.”
“I’m thinking this next discovery will be even better.”
“Really?? What was that that we were working on?”
“A way of combating corruption, it’s called Monarchy.”
“Excellent. Does it come in flasks or do you smoke it?”
“I’m not sure yet.”
“Say, have you seen Nubile Running Deer lately, I think she has my pants?”
“Can’t say that I have.”
We had many nights like that. I was hoping that with twelve chosen ones and only 7 and ¼ gods that we weren’t being watched so much.
“Yes, but how can we prove that we exist? I have done the calculations set forth in the principles of philosophical self examination and three times come up with a negative number. That can’t be good, it really can’t. I’ve searched the known lands for truth and meaning and you know what I found? Iroquois girls with long hair, I’m telling you, that’s where the meaning is at. The truth is out there. This wine is really great, I’m glad I sent those guys to build that city.”
Lord Clem, "Ruminations on Philosophy and Wine Tasting" circa 2782 fcc
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A Map of the Upper Clem Nation
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xiaodave
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The Book of Clem: Chapter Four
(2800-3225)
It was the 3000th year since the founding of Clem City and a third Millennium stone now sat next to the others. This time it was a military assessment, and it was doing Clem no world of temporary good. He was lucid, he was energetic, he actually did a few drill inspections to make sure the local warriors had their new metal warsticks properly sharpened.
“Now see this is cool. This is what I’ve been talking about, herald. We should be the leaders, yes sir.”
“It is somewhat of a relief to see.”
“How often do they make these stones anyway?”
“One every thousand years, sir.”
“Thousand years? It’s been a thousand years already?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Yeah that is some good wine we make down there. Coulda sworn it was no more than seventy/seventy-five.”
The stone was the same make as the other two, it had arrived in a cart pulled by horses, would wonders never cease. “I Gorman of Noog have traveled the world evaluating the military might of all nations:
Carthage of Clem
The Hittites
The Iroquois
The Aztecs
Rome
The Zulu
China
The Inca”
In the next seventy-five years our nation swelled to ten cities. All was well with the world, even if Clem managed to backslide a little into the triple headed demon of smokeweed, wine and Iroquois girls.
In the year 3225 on the border of Japan a band of Iroquois warriors ambushed the very band of warrior/scientists that had brought back the bow from lands unknown. The battle was short and decisive and when it was over the Iroquois force lay crushed and bloodied, completely destroyed by the warriors of Clem City.
The battle of Kyoto fields was over, the war against the rampaging Iroquois hordes had just begun.
“War between the nations is clearly impossible. None of the chosen of the gods would ever raise their hand against another, for surely that would raise the fiery wrath of the gods upon them. It is then that the aggressor would be smote by the locusts and the floods and earthquakes and the molten rivers of fire and the poisonous snakes and the feral cats and sharp objects abounding. Yes, the world shall forever be a peaceful place. War is completely and totally impossible, mark my words friends,… yes, herald, what is it!? You are interrupting a very important speech you know,…”
Lord Clem, “A Treatise on the Peaceful Nature of Mankind” circa the night word of the Battle of Kyoto Fields reached Clem City, 3225 fcc.
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xiaodave
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quote:
Originally posted by unscratchedfoot
Thanks for the story Dave.
Hmmm... I've never had a wheel rolled down a hill at me but I have had a buckets of water thrown from high buildings at me.
As for a story comment, the savagely boring civilization start from scratch routine is fairly saved by your voracious attempts at flavoring it. Are you gonna do a whole game story? It's been done but its a big project for sure and needs a lot of warring to keep the readers happy. |
This will be a whole game story, whats more diplomatic and spaceship victory are turned off. As for warring, we will rarely be agressive but if past games are an indication we will have no trouble getting into wars. I will endeavor to make each part entertaining though.
quote:
It helps if you clip your pictures down a bit because the big photos stretch the text too wide to fit on my monitor so I miss the last word or two on each line cause I got my monitor set to low resolution. I'm sure some other people have the same thing. Also, smaller pictures reduces thread loading time for you. |
Good point, Ive made the big pictures smaller.
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xiaodave
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The Book of Clem: Chapter Five
(3225-3790 fcc)
When the news of our betrayal by the maniacal Hiawatha arrived it left a drastically changed Clem. He was lucid, attentive and quite single-mindedly vengeful. Our southern colonies were left to grow and to continue the colonization of the continent. Every other city in the land took to the task of making metal warsticks and training warriors to use them. It took five thousand men to make one unit, and ten thousand more to find those men and press them into service.
In 3250 the brave warriors camped outside Japan were attacked again in the Second Battle of Kyoto fields. Once Again they were triumphant and set their camp upon the mass grave of 10,000 Iroquois warriors. They camped there in celebration for 100 years.
Six armies moved north and in 3310 Clem led 30,000 Metal Warstick Handlers into the Iroquois town of Grand River, 10,000 Iroquois Spearmen met their end with only 5000 MWH’s lost. Grand River was destroyed in the assault, having only had 18,000 odd inhabitants. More importantly, the nation of Clem entered its golden age with the defeat of the Iroquois.
A series of pitched battles were fought in the swamps to the north of Grand River while settlers were imported to the area to construct the city of North Clem upon the ruins of Grand River. In the next 120 years we killed another 6 units of Iroquois agressors, mostly archers. In the year 3350 the Third Battle of Kyoto Fields resulted in the destruction of our nations very first military force. It was our only loss of the period.
With North Clem safely established we set our sights on the Iroquois town of Tonowanda. 25,000 warriors meandered their way through the marshlands and reached the walls of the city in 3510. Our armies slaughtered 20,000 Iroquois defenders, but alas lack of supplies and harassment from Iroquois units hiding in the swamp forced us to turn back. The army returned to North Clem in failure.
Clem seethed with rage, stalking the halls of North Clem like a haunted man. He would climb the walls each day and shout insults in the Iroquois tongue out in the direction of the swamps. He would question the parentage of Hiawatha at the top of his lungs for one hour every morning. All the while reinforcements arrived from the south, the armies that had returned from the failed siege of Tonowanda replenished their strength. We patrolled the swamp in strength and cost the Iroquois raiders four heads for every one of our own.
In the year 3610 Clem led a force of 70,000 MWH’s north supported by 15,000 of our brand new Swordsmen in a two pronged assault on Tonowanda and Salamanca. A twenty year siege resulted in the destruction of Tonowanda and the capture of the Iroquois capital. 25,000 of Clems finest conscripts fell in battle. The Iroquois lost 60,000 men and the heart of their kingdom. While Clem luxuriated in Hiawatha’s palace, 50,000 Iroquois slaves worked the lands to the enrichment of their Clemthagian masters.
Settlers came north once again, and the city of Westport arose over the ruins of Tonowanda. Warriors of Clem roamed the lands, harassing the city of Niagra Falls and guarding against attacks from the mountains to the east of Salamanca. For the next 150 years the Iroquois lost 2 men for each of ours in sporadic fighting.
In 3770 a fleet of Iroquois ships landed on the southern continent, in the wild lands still unclaimed by our settlers. A group of MWH’s were dispatched to destroy them and did so before they could cause any damage. Also in 3770 Clem marched 75,000 men to the walls of Niagra Falls. In 3790 the city fell, the Iroquois settlement of Capitol replaced it. An emissary was sent to Hiawatha and in exchange for ceding the city of Oil Springs and all information he had in the matter of something called the Code of Laws the war was ended.
The Great Iroquois War had lasted 565 years and cost the Iroquois 180,000 of their best and finest and all but two of their cities. 60,000 warriors had died in the effort on our side, oddly enough the technically advanced Swordsmen took most of the losses. We abandoned Swordsman as a viable unit.
Clem, along with the choicest 5,000 Iroquois slaves returned in triumph to the Palace in Clem City. The land was once again at peace.
“You know who did that!?! Huh!!? You know who did that!?! IT WAS YOUR MOTHER HIAWATHA!!!”
Lord Clem, Number 4,227 in the Speech From the Castle Walls in the General Direction of the Iroquois Swamps series, c. 3574 fcc.
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xiaodave
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The Book of Clem: Chapter Six
(3790 fcc- 360 acc)(acc: After the Crowning of Clem)
In the year 3550, in the lull before the final assault on the Iroquois capitol and the city of Niagra Falls a second grand cultural achievement was completed in Clem City. The great lighthouse gave our ships the ability to move almost twice as fast as those of our competitors. As war production wound down we set a few of our coastal towns to the task of building ships with which we hoped to explore the world and find the other tribes.
With the capture of Salamanca and the ceding of Oil Springs, the Iroquois war was over and the nation was at peace. We had actually halted military production over the last 100 years of the war. By the time Hiawatha was down to four cities, the total population of the Iroquois people was less than that of our military force. By the end of the war we had more Iroquois slaves than Hiawatha had people.
Lord Clem did not return to old habits after the war ended. Well at least not to all old habits. Wine was served at the dinner tables, but it did not make its appearance with the morning birdsong as it had in ages past. Smokeweed was banned from the palace, though Clem had noted that it had a numbing effect on the general populous and such consumption was therefore encouraged outside the palace. In fact the combination of smokeweed and philosophy had the general populace completely befuddled to the exclusion of any possible revolutionary action. The people barely knew what city they were in half the time. The banning of ‘distractions’ by Lord Clem did not extend to Iroquois girls.
Clem ruled the lands with as much wisdom as he possessed. He was active in every facet of government. It was somewhat of a crisis. He began pursuing something he called ‘The Courthouse and Wall Society’. In short he wanted walls to keep the foreigners out and courthouses in which to hang the rebellious elements. As the missives to the various governors went out I took great care to scratch out walls and replace it with libraries while the term courthouse was excised in favor of marketplaces.
In the year 3850 two events of note took place. One, we raised the city of Capitol on a hilltop overlooking the ruins of Niagra Falls. Two, Clem decided that his victory over Hiawatha had earned himself the favor of at least 4 if not all of the 7 and ¼ gods. He even made up a word for it, he intended to call himself King. He claimed the word ‘King’ was a word the ancients used for; ‘Chosen One of the Gods to whom all other nations must bow to in complete and total toadying like subservience for a term of at least but not necessarily limited to ten thousand years’.
When the servants of the temples across the lands of Clem heard this they decried it as heresy. In 3870 the nation descended into the chaos of anarchy. Roaming bands of youngsters hopped up on smokeweed burned houses and assaulted senior citizens. Nobody between the advanced ages of 35 and 44 was safe. Warnings were written, and posted, threatening death by hanging to anyone participating in anti-Clem activities. Anti-Clem activities included: not working on the walls and courthouses for the prescribed 88 hours a week; roaming around setting fires; drawing unsolicited caricatures of Clem; listening to priests babble on about heresy; not bowing down in abject awe in the presence of the officially solicited caricatures of Clem; owning goats; using the word Hiawatha in front of witnesses and/or children; being socially unpopular; as well as any act the military deemed to fall under the heading of ‘General Offences against Lord Clem’.
Tens of thousands of people were put to death on the sites of the future courthouses. As someone had crossed out courthouses and written in marketplaces, the marketplaces of the nation ran red with the blood of miscreants for the next 100 years. This time came to be known as ‘The Wonderful Societal Cleansing’. Aztec news-parchments were filled with lurid tales of the ‘Great Clem Goat-Fancier’s Massacre’.
With the marketplaces knee-deep in blood and the last of the goat-herders trembling in exile in one of the northern borderlands, Lord Clem held a grand coronation at the end of the year 4000 fcc. and crowned himself King Clem I. The new year was counted as 1 acc. (After the Crowning of Clem). The nation was now and hereafter named Clemland.
Our new ships sailed the seas of the world and we settled four new, relatively worthless islands. We named them The Lost World, Whalepoint, South Polar Isle and Useless Island respectively. In 110 we discovered what scribes would later name the Continent of Hereticia. The nations of Rome and the Inca were added to the rolls of nations whom we thought our country better than.
In the year 250 acc. the Hittites and Persia were added to that list. We also celebrated the arrival of our fourth Millennium stone, two-hundred and fifty years late by my count. To King Clem’s delight it read: “The Most Advanced Nations as ranked by the illustrious St Autocracy:
Clemland
Spain
The Aztecs
The Inca
Rome
The Iroquois
Persia
Japan “
In the year 270 we added China to the list of nations that would be much happier enslaved to Clem. Fifty years later we discovered Construction and officially entered the age of Medieval science. While the rest of the world languished in the backward iron age, we alone surged headlong into the dark ages like the scientific juggernaut we had become.
Zululand and Sumeria were discovered in successive decades shortly thereafter. We had located all of our rivals and the news was good. No nation on the face of the world held as much land within its grasp as did Clemland.
In 360 acc the treacherous Aztecs, no doubt heavily influenced by the goat-herders union marched 40,000 troops to and over the northern borders of Clemland. The first Aztec War had begun.
“I take this crown as acknowledgement of the favor of at least 4 of the gods and probably as many as six. My victory at Salamanca can only be seen as divine proof of my proper place as lord and master of the entire world. When Hiawatha ceded Oil Springs as well as four of his six prettiest daughters as recognition of my absolute bestness it was a message to the other so called chosen of the gods that some of us were a little more chosen than others. And despite the treachery of the goat herders and the evil clergy we shall reign supreme from the highest palace right down to the most blood-splattered, marketplace-shaped courthouse in all the land. I, Clem the first, proclaim myself King of the universe! All hail me!!”
King Clem I, ‘Coronation Speech’, circa 1 acc.
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The Book of Clem: Chapter Seven
(360-630)
The color green was ordered banned as that was the color of the foul brigands the world knew as Aztecs. Our military flew out of the nearly 600 year hibernation, swordsmen and metal warstick handlers at the ready. They would be augmented by our new secret weapon, the Horse-borne Warstick Handler or horsemen for short. Once again the central cities of Clemland began the work of building the military.
There was also a demonstration of a new weapon made possible through the wonders of mathematics. Previously mathematics had been primarily concerned with the tallying of chickens before their sale at the courthouses. It was a wooden structure reinforced with iron capable of tossing rocks. Since the children of Clem City had long been tossing rocks just fine we did not have high hopes for the new machine.
On a misty morning in the fields just north of Clem City a demonstration was arranged. They cranked back the machine until the wood creaked and groaned under the stress. A boulder the size of a small cart was loaded onto the firing mechanism. All at once a man hammered the firing pin releasing the ropes and the boulder shot high into the air. It arced wide over the field and landed in the midst of a herd of cows, slaughtering three of them.
Amidst the screams of dismembered cows Clem officially canceled the Catapult program. The King was of the opinion that he could find cheaper ways to slaughter livestock. The nation of Clemland would go into battle without huge cow-murdering rock throwers.
We initiated a defensive posture to begin the Aztec war. From 370-390 we concentrated on destroying the attacking forces of the Aztecs. We lost 10,000 men in that time mostly horsemen and swordsmen. We killed 45,000 attacking Aztecs, mostly archers and Jaguar Warriors. In the year 400 we laid siege to the city of Tenochtitlan with a band of 50,000 swordsman. 15,000 MWH’s provided defensive support against Aztec incursions from their capitol. It was a fortune of geography that put the Aztec palace just over the hills from our nation.
The siege lasted for fifty years, we lost 5,000 swordsman while killing 45,000 Aztec troops. In the year 430, halfway through the siege of the Aztec Capitol we received a message from the Japanese. They had allied with the Aztecs and joined the war against Clemland. We were more than a match for any one nation, we were even a match for two, but if the treacherous Aztecs managed to entice the Spanish to join them we would be lucky to hold onto what we had gained in the Iroquois war. Clem moved quickly, we established an embassy in Madrid and offered to lead their nation into the enlightened dark ages in exchange for an alliance against the Aztecs. Spain agreed and the continent was at war.
In the year 450 we pushed our war through the gates of the Aztec capitol and took possession of the palace of the enemy. We lost 10,000 horsemen and a fleet of Galleys in the action while slaughtering 25,000 defenders and capturing the city. With Tenochtitlan in our hands we set to augmenting out forces. A second army was assembled in the hills north of Salamanca while the units that had captured Tenochtitlan, all of whom had suffered serious damage by the defenders of the city, regained their full strength and were augmented with reinforcements.
In 480 a force of Japanese horsemen riding with the full permission of Hiawatha poured over the Iroquois border to assault Tenochtitlan. They were met by a force of MWH’s defending the far bank of a large river and driven back. Over the next twenty years we fought a pitched struggle to hold the river. 20,000 Japanese horsemen met their end against the entrenched forces of Clemland.
The problem, however, was that so long as the Japanese attacked at will through Iroquois lands, our forces at Tenochtitlan were trapped there, unable to continue the assault into the Aztec heartlands. The problem was solved in the year 490 through a subtle combination of diplomatic skill and backhanded treachery. Clem founded an embassy in Allegheny, the new Iroquois capital, and convinced Hiawatha to betray the Japanese in exchange for the secrets of horseback riding. King Clem then followed Hiawatha’s declaration of war against the Japanese by reaching a peace agreement with Japan. Clem also convinced the Japanese to part with the whole of their treasury in the process. There were now two separate wars, Japan against the Iroquois and Spain and Clemland against the Aztecs. Our armies were free to press the assault when ready.
The next thirty years saw sporadic fighting along the Aztec border. 15,000 Aztec Archers met their grisly deaths at the hands of Clem’s forces. A long period of relative peace followed, our southern cities made a breathrough in military technology, replacing our Swordsmen with something called Military Infantry. Armored men with new spiky-looking warsticks poured north to augment the two growing armies. In the year 580 the two armies marched into the Aztec heartlands. 80,000 men headed for Teotihuacán while nearly 120,000 marched on the hill city of Tlatelolco and its wealth of gem deposits.
In 600 the first sorties took place with 5,000 men falling on each side. In 610 we stormed into the city of Teotihuacán losing 40,000 men in the battle and causing as many Aztec casualties before the remnants of the first army secured the conquest. In the year 620 in the hills of Tlatelolco the second Army attacked. We suffered another 35,000 in losses while killing only 25,000 defenders. To our fortune, they only had 25,000 defenders, and the gem mines were ours.
In 630 with our armies in tatters and the heartland of the Aztec nation conquered the Aztecs sued for peace offering the Spanish city of Zargoza in the deal. The war was over for the land of Clem. The Japanese and Iroquois reached a peace accord not twenty years later, the Spanish and Aztec war continued.
Our victorious generals returned from the front with a strange proposal. It seems we might have avoided the carnage that cost us 75,000 of our warriors if only we had some way to batter a city’s defenses with large rocks.
“Our ships have returned from the exploration of the farthest seas with a map of all lands. Two things are certain. One, the world is completely flat. Two, we are the greatest. Oh yeah, let that not be in doubt. I will now give you a tour of the world as we have found it to be. This here, is mine, as is this thing over here. Do you see that thing, the one that looks like a panther over there; that’s mine too. This flat bit is mine, its actually pretty nice there if you are looking for a summer home. This sort of ugly part with glaciers and a whole lot of nothing, these are the Aztecs, except for that part there, that’s mine,…”
King Clem, An Examination of the Whole World”, circa 630 acc.
Attachment: aztecwar.jpg
This has been downloaded 45 time(s).
Last edited by xiaodave on 16-05-2004 at 03:03
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Richelieu
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Gatineau
Dec 2001
time: 00:36
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Good stuff. I'm enjoying this.
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justjake73
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How do you create those movement arrows??
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11-05-2004 05:58
The harder the situation is to resolve, the better the story gets.
As for the arrows I drew them by hand with psp7. I use it to crop and resise the screenshots from 1024 down to something manageable for the forum.
I must have missed that bit. Where you off to after that?
Sorry for hijacking your thread, xiaodave. I do hope you deliver some more goods soon. 
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