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Illuminatus
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Salvaging Unity Fusion Core
Jul 2003
time: 06:36
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narrator voice
Space. The final frontier. Well not exactly the final frontier since latest fork on superstring theory shows that there might be alternate dimensions…
*whack*
*New narator voice
Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Unity II, on it’s continuing mission to explore strange new worlds, to kill the captain whenever they reach habitable planets and to mutiny into different factions which then race to the planet and try to win control.
*whack*
*star trek music theme*
*still the same music theme*
*40 years later the same music theme is still playing and ship is still travelling through space*
ATTENTION. REACHING HIGH ORBIT OVER DESTINATION PLANET. INITIATE CRYOAWAKENING OF NECCESARY CREW….
CREW IN CRYOPOD ONE OUT OF CRYOSTASIS….
CREW IN CRYOPOD TWO OUT OF CRYOSTASIS…
CREW IN CRYOPOD THREE OUT OF CRYOSTASIS…
CREW IN CRYOPOD FOUR OUT OF CRYOSTASIS….
CHECKING CREW LIST…
ALL MEMBERS OF THE CREW ALIVE….
TASSADARS FLUNG OUT TO SPACE ACCORDING TO CAPTAIN’S PRELAUNCH ORDERS…..
INITIATE SELFAWARE CRYOBAR….
CRYOBAR OPERATIONAL…..
STABLE ORBIT REACHED….
CHECKING SENSORS…..
CHECKING SUPPORT SHIPS...
SUPPORT SHIPS ACTIVE AND RESPONDING...
PLANET IDENTIFIED AS MANIFOLD FOUR ACCORDING TO PROGENITOR DATABANKS
ANALYSIS COMPLETED – ECOSYSTEM MATCHES THAT OF CHIRON
CHECKING SURROUNDING SPACE
SECTOR 1 OKAY
SECTOR 2 OKAY
SECTOR 3 OKAY
WARNING! METEOR SHOWER DETECTED IN SECTOR 4!
IMPACT ON UNITY IMMINENT….
ADVISE CHANGE OF ORBIT….
REINITIATING MANUEVER THRUSTERS….
FAILURE….
RETRY….
FAILURE….
AUXILARY MOTORS BEING REINITIALISED….
FAILURE…
RETRY….
FAILURE…
CHECKING GENERAL MOTOR STATUS….
DECCELERATION ROCKETS DEPLETED OF FUEL….
PRIMARY ENGINES OFFLINE….
SECONDARY ENGINES OFFLINE….
MANUEVER ENGINES OFFLINE…
AUXILARY ENGINES OFFLINE:…
CAUSE OF MALFUNCTION: This engine has executed an invalid operation and it will be termianted. If this problem persists, contact the local vendor.
INITIATING SELFREPAIR….
ASISTANCE FROM CREW REQUIRED….
CONTACTING CAPTAIN….
CAPTAIN IS DEAD…..
*Captain’s voice:
Hey! I am not dead.
*shredder pistol shot is heard*
Whew! That missed me.
*multiple shredder pistol shots are heard*
That missed me too. I am so lucky.
*heavy artillery sounds, multiple shots, detonations, energy buzzes and projectile impacts are heard*
Luckly, that just scratched me!
Hey, why are you carrying that metal bar!
Wait, wait.. ahhhh!
*WHACK*
CAPTAIN IS DEAD…..
CREW GOING TO SELFAWARE CRYOBAR…
ANALYSIS: IF CREWMEMBERS DO NOT ASSIST THE REPAIRS THERE IS A 99.50473467 PRECENT PROBABILITY THAT SHIP WILL BE HIT BY METEOR RAIN, DESTROYED, CREW WILL REBEL AND SPLIT INTO DIFFERENT FACTIONS AND ALL TECHNOLOGICAL KNOWLEDGE WILL BE LOST.
ALSO THERE IS PROBABILITY OF 99.99999999 PERCENT THAT CREW WILL JUST SIT IN SELFAWARE CRYOBAR AND DRINK THE STOCK DUE TO FACT THAT ALL DRINKS ARE FREE
REPORT END.//657.568kbN7s
 Attachment: smacsupershot.jpg
This has been downloaded 97 time(s).
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Maniac
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Gent, Belgium
Jul 1999
time: 06:36
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code:
Drogue 530
GeoModder 472
Jamski 439
Kassiopeia 393
Method 381
obstructor 371
Maniac 366
HongHu 359
FlameFlash 238
GeneralTacticus 220
Skanky Burns 211
Hercules 162
Micha 151
DeathByTheSword 149
laurentius 114
Kody 105
Pandemoniak 103
Ouro_827 88
Cedayon 87
MrWhereItsAt 82
Comrade Tassadar 79
Crimson Sunrise 78
Vev 74
t_ras 66
Rasputin 51
Anodyne 46
Archaic 44
conmcb25 42
Octavian X 38
Lemmy 35
Whoha 35
Enigma_Nova 33
Corellion 30
Frankychan 28
Kirov 22
Zero 21
lucky22 20
mart7x5 19
jtsisyoda 17
Static Universe 17
History Guy 16
moomin 16
Googlie 15
Mead 15
Apocalypse 14
Chaunk 13
Flubber 13
Atlantian 11
Impaler[WrG] 11
Makahlua 11
Aaron Blackwell 10
foolish_icarus 9
Mellian 9
Voltaire 9
Comrade Chris 8
Minute Mirage 8
johndmuller 7
Darkness' Edge 6
Diablero 5
Earwicker 5
Gert 5
Jhanactus 5
Main_Brain 5
Trip 5
Trithemius 5
ColdWizard 4
Schinkenjoe 4
arginine 3
Ari Rahikkala 3
Puupertti Ruma 3
Vlad Antlerkov 3
- Groucho - 2
Arnelos 2
Haon 2
MrSnoid 2
The Bloody Baro 2
Unspeakable Horror 2
AdamTG02 1
dmm1285 1
Gnool 1
Ignorance 1
Mongoose 1
Net Warrior 1
Rasbelin 1
Vander 1
Whaleboy 1
Edit: Total: 6093
Last edited by Maniac on 18-06-2004 at 02:36
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17-06-2004 23:24
Great opennings obs. Shouldn't the thread title include a number of 
. I forgot, there is no bartender here, since the bar is self-aware.
Do we transcend reality on each floor?
BTW why do I not see any remarks about editing in your posts HH?
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