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Maniac
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Gent, Belgium
Jul 1999
time: 06:36
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Just assembling some articles for a next Phalanx.
Military Recruitment Message
JOB VACANCY : Chief Brood Trainer
Requirements:
- Possess psi talents
- Like working with animals, and love pets
- Like outdoors activity
- Experience with sniffing fungal spores
Wuy is now in charge of the native life units, but this is still a good way to tell the other factions we've got worms.
Last edited by Maniac on 08-05-2005 at 03:17
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Maniac
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Gent, Belgium
Jul 1999
time: 06:36
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Chiron Wars Final Episode: The Sex Dolls Strike Back
One Sentence IC Story by members of the Junta
(Continuing from The Phalanx #7)
Previously in Chiron Wars...
"Okay, in a second, when I tell you that we're all possibly going to die, try not to overreact." Zeiter hurriedly replied as he sprinted down the hallway.
"What the hell he was talking about..." Maniac muttered while taking a close look at the object Zeiter dropped.
In super slow-motion, Zeiter jumped at Maniac and the object and yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
And now the conclusion...
Suddenly Zeiter woke up screaming, and heard a local Gaian beauty lying next to him in bed whisper sweet-voiced in his ear "Have you had a nightmare, my hero?"
"Damn, somebody must have fungal spiked my Centauri bubbly", Zeiter proclaims, "and who the hell are you"? as he gazes at the nubile Gaian (censored)... His eyes suddenly coming into focus, Zeiter quickly added, "Er, oh, it's you, my love...yes, it was a very frightening dream...I think that cold draft has been bothering me in my sleep." as he slid deeper under the covers. 
Zeiter had only just slid under the covers, when suddenly the door to the bedroom was slammed open and a Spartan officer entered. Out of habit, Lt. Col Maniac yelled "What the HELL is going on here?" before seeing the beautiful Gaian woman on the bed and adding "Oh, excuse me, Miss but...uh...I was just trying to find Zeiter and tell him that he's wanted in the covert ops room ASAP, so if you happen to see him, you can give him that message."
Meanwhile, Kassiopeia sat back in his chair sipping xenocoffee at the Covert Ops room and thought back to how they managed to exfiltrate from Gaian territory, and even bring back some nubile Gaian [censored] along with them - ah, the simple pleasures of life.
The Gaian beauty looked at Zeiter in awe and wonder, and longingly wispered "Oh no, do you think this mission is going to be dangerous?"
"Certainly dear, but do not worry, there's nothing on this planet that could keep me from coming back to you."
And Lt Colonel Googlie, his epaulettes still crisp and golden-hued from his recent promotion, looked across at Major Kassiopeia and inquired:
"And what are you grinning so wickedly about ............ it's got naught to do with that crate of Gaian blow-up sex dolls we intercepted, is it?
Kassiopeia snapped to attention: "Of course not, sir, I was just reminiscing how we managed to wiggle ourselves out of Gaian territory, surrounded by thousands of search patrols for the first two hundred miles of the trip, using only chewing gum, shoe strings and fungus spores, and of course the blow-up dolls - I wonder if anyone bothered to mention to Zeiter that while they're almost like the real thing, even talk and interact and everything, that they're not really... real?"
Googlie's eyes misted over as he thought about that episode now referred to as "The Crate Escape" when they had intercepted the slow-moving gaian tramp steamer but in turn had been nudged by the Isle of the Deep, traumatizing the crew and leaving the officers stranded on the Gaian shoreline with just their Morgan Nike-clone runners, some boxes of chewing gum that they'd been hoping to trade to the Gaians to fix the cracks on their ancient Unity Rovers ........... and the crate of blow-up dolls
"Oh, don't go, my hero, oh please, how I desire to KILL YOU...I mean, be kissed and ravished by you!"
Meanwhile, back at Gaia's Landing, Professor Darsnan, the architect of the advanced AI, listened to the intercepts now feeding into his neural receptors and guffawed
BWAHAHA ............ BWAHBWAHAHAH !!
Major Kassiopeia looked at the monitors on the walls and noticed something peculiar about a certain reading in a certain screen that detailed the output of a frequency analyzer installed in the room in case someone would try to eavesdrop on them using a Gaian half-sentient nubile blow-up [censored] some day - clearly the Spartans had a contingency for any situation.
Lt Colonel Googlie's eyes followed those of Major Kassiopeia to the screen, where, observing the activity spike, he leapt to his feet and yelled: "By Chiron, it's the Colonel .......... she's out of her coma" and rushed from the room in the greates haste.
Kassiopeia looked at the screen and also noticed the electroencephalogram's graph jumping up and down most perkily, and this certainly distracted him from the reading that might have exposed to him Professor Darsnan's nefarious plot ahead of schedule.
Primus hears the Alarm Bells, falls out of the rack, and mutters "I've got to stop hanging-out with Zeiter before Googlie and Maniac busts my...stripes, and what's this rug doing on my floor?"
Over at the research hospital Doctor Bonaventura was giving Santiago first care after awakening from her coma. He looked up as Lieutenant-Colonels Maniac and Googlie burst simultaneously into the room, and upon seeing the Doctor sitting on the bedside stroking Corazon's hair and muttering "there now, my dear Colonel, there now" as she looked vacantly at him, drool dribbling from the corner of her mouth, said in unison "What the HELL is going in here?", apparently one of the first interrogation phrases learnt at the Officers Training School in Sparta Command.
The Doctor hastily jumped to his feet and snapped to attention, saying "It's worse than you think, Sirs, as I believe that somehow the neural implants of the Colonel have been tampered with while she was in a coma and now she thinks she is a Gaian sex doll, Sirs!!"
"Oh how awful!" Major Kassiopeia, who had followed the Lt-Colonels, exclaimed, starting to dream about the possibilities this could give.
Meanwhile, over at Zeiter's bedroom, his Gaian sex doll awoke, and cried out "What the HELL am I, Corazon Santiago, doing in this bed!?!"
Back in the hospital ward Lt Col Googlie looked over at Lt Colonel Maniac and said: "This does not look good."
"Hmm, seeing this new situation", Maniac suggested turning to Googlie "how about we promote ourselves to Colonel?"
A mindworm appears with two colonel badges attached to it, and waits expectantly.
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Maniac
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Gent, Belgium
Jul 1999
time: 06:36
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Spartan Football Premier League
Excitement is rising as the football season is nearing its end. With no less than three teams still in the running, the champion could well be decided on the last day.
Here are the highlights of the Premier (and only) League matches played yesterday:
SPARTAK SPARTA 0 – OLYMPIQUE OLYMPUS 1
Spartak’s three point lead lasted just three days after this defeat to old rivals Olympique.
Spartak went close when their Laconian midfielder McDonalds headed against the bar in the 18th minute but six minutes later Olympique got the decisive goal when Arcadian Santa Maria swung in a cross from the right flank and Porto Cruz rose well at the back post to head home.
After the break Spartak's Tegean striker Zlatan Wadisda went close twice -- shaving the post with a 20 metre drive and then having a fiercely struck free-kick saved by a full-stretch Francesco Pizzaro.
BENFICA BUSTER 3 – STANDARD SUPERIORITY 3
Six goals, two red-cards but only a point for Fort Buster who were hoping to make up ground in the race for the title.
Christian Fletcher put Benfica in front in the 14th minute but just three minutes later Standard defender Pierre Steinbach equalised and then Luigi De Luis put the visitors ahead with a twice-taken penalty.
After Standard's Simone La Vista was dismissed, Blari Toni sent the Arcadians in level at the break after converting a spot kick.
Fletcher was sent off for Benfica in the 68th minute but Toni's well-taken goal 10 minutes later looked to have earned a win for the home side only for André Vermeulen to equalise five minutes from the end.
Now follow the full results from the Premier League matches from Mission Date 21690506 to .0508:
Cercle Cratersouth 1 - Dynamo Tegea 1
Atletico Tirith 3 - Celtic Citadel 2
Racing Río 1 - Juventus Iaci 2
Spartak Sparta 0 - Olympique Olympus 1
Club Craterwest 1 - University United 2
AC Messena 2 - Sporting Sparta 0
Viktoria Vladivostok 2 - Twonuts Tassadar 4
Lokomotiv Liberty 0 - Ajax Argos 0
Grasshopper Gythium 1 - Inter Ironholm 0
Benfica Buster 3 - Standard Superiority 3
Last edited by Maniac on 08-05-2005 at 03:17
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Maniac
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Gent, Belgium
Jul 1999
time: 06:36
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Full election results are in!
While the Spartan Senate was already established back in MY 2116, three days ago was the first historic election for the Spartan Chamber, for which not only Citizens, but also Helots can vote. With all the votes counted, the seats in the new Chamber can be divided. Five parties will hold seats these five next years,the lengh of a legislature. On the map below is indicated which parties obtained the most votes in which constituencies.
The most surprising result was that of the Federated Socialists supported by Captain Tassadar. On the election map they are displayed in red. Their program includes joining with the Hive, establishing a commie utopia and increasing military expenditures. It is unclear though whether they gathered so many votes because their voters in fact have separatist tendencies, or simply because they voted for the party related to the popular communist football team Twonuts Tassadar.
Another minor but more widespread party is the Green Chiron Party. They are in favour of harmony with Planet, and show (don’t laugh) pacifist tendencies. They only achieved a plurality in Central Arcadia though. Their higher success there may be related to the strange Planet activity in that region.
The third largest party is the Faculty for a Free Arcadia. The support for it is limited to Northern Arcadia, both in the fully incorporated Arcadian bases as in the bases of the autonomous University protectorate. They nowhere achieved more than a narrow plurality though, and as time passes it is expected that support for the Faculty will steadily decline.
The Federation Democratic Party, one of the two coalition partners, is chaired by Colonel Riveira. It’s mainly popular in the old Spartan core. The corelands want to keep the rest of the Federation firmly under control, and is therefore protectionist, isolationist, unitary; and in favour of increasing military expenditures. Thinking of themselves as the “true Spartans”, they claim the colour black for their party. Fort Superiority is also loyal to the FDP, as that was made the economic and military centre of Arcadia thanks to policies decided in Sparta Command.
The largest party is the Sparta Reform Coalition chaired by Colonel Googlie. Its policies are pro-Morganite (therefore with yellow as party colour), pro-commerce and pro increasing military expenditures. Most popular in the areas closest to Terrapeso, as those areas would profit most of a peace and increased commerce with the Corporation. And of course in Ironholm, which as you remember is a colony of former Morgan Industries citizens.
When asked why he didn’t become prime minister despite chairing the largest party, Googlie replied: “I become prime minister?? Then I wouldn’t have the time to play golf anymore!” At the editorial office we all agree with his choice to enjoy the pleasures of life! We wish him and his coalition partners lots of success in their first term as government of the Spartan Federation.
Last edited by Maniac on 08-05-2005 at 05:51
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Maniac
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Gent, Belgium
Jul 1999
time: 06:36
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Posting the issue.
Last edited by Maniac on 08-05-2005 at 06:20
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Googlie
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Commanding Officer, CRYPTEIA
Apr 1999
time: 21:36
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How about this for a release - Phalanx maybe?
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News Release
Sparta Command – MY 2177 :
UN Peacekeepers declare Vendetta on the Spartan Federation
Shortly after daybreak, Commissioner Lal declared Vendetta on the Spartan Federation.
The origins are somewhat unclear. PK units had been rummaging around the outskirts of a Spartan base, and the base Governor, with the approval of the Arcadian Regional Administrator, Lt Colonel Kassiopeia, and the Commanding Officer, CRYPTEIA, Colonel Googlie, sent special forces operatives to interrogate the miscreants. They were induced to change allegiance to the Federation, whereupon the Commissioner pronounced Vendetta on the Federation
Spartan Federation responds with overwhelming force
In response to the Peacekeepers declaration of vendetta, Colonels Googlie and Maniac authorized the immediate deployment of units of the Spartan famed Elite Rapid Response Brigade.
Supported by Impact and Missile penetrators of Sparta Air Command, nearby vessels of the Spartan Navy, CRYPTEIA agents, and several divisions of amphibious mobile forces, an invasion was launched, resulting in the capturing and annexing of the following four Peacekeeper bases:- UN Headquarters
- UN High Commission
- UN Planning Authority
- UN Great Refuge
Peace terms were offered to Commissioner Lal, but he refused.
The Federation will vigourously pursue operations against the remaining Peacekeeper bases, and by proclamation is laying claim to the entire Arcadian continent as falling under the Spartan Federation’s sphere of influence
End of release
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Last edited by Googlie on 03-07-2005 at 07:24
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Zeiter
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Here are two articles for another Phalanx issue, which might go into a little bit more detail about the Peacekeeper invasion.
The Legendary R-112 Rover Corps Strikes Again!
By now the R-112 rover corps has become somewhat of a national folk legend in the Spartan Federation. Its history is almost too illustrious and awe-inspiring for comprehension or belief, especially for the younger generations of students who now only know of R-112's extraordinary past through the history books and the mythic tales of their elders. After all, R-112 is the longest running military corps still in action. Deployed upon Planetfall, the R-112 rover corps immediately went into action scouting the surrounding terrain. In MY 2103 the R-112 Corazon Recon Vehicle was the first Spartan crew to visit a monolith, a mysterious structure, many of which can be found scattered about Planet. A year later R-112 was the first Spartan unit to set sights upon the wide, blue seas of the Laconian Gulf. When drones in the industrial sectors of Sparta Command and Santiago Citadel began to cause trouble as these cities began to expand , R-112 was instrumental in restoring peace. In MY 2117 R-112 was scouting near the Great Fungal Wall when it came upon a hideous fungal tower. R-112 fought brilliantly, coming away from the battle victorious and completely unscathed! In MY 2126, while scouting to the northern borders of Yangland, R-112 approached an ordinary-looking unity pod. However, upon opening the pod R-112 fell into a sort of “dimensional rift” and was instantaneously transported several hundred kilometers away. Suddenly the R-112 rover corps found itself precariously near the vile Hiverian Empire. Running low on supplies, R-112 began a daring trek across Hiverian territory, hoping to somehow make it back into Spartan territory.
After several years of arduous travel through fungus-ridden steppes, dense, dark forests, and tropical jungles, the R-112 rover corps encountered a group of Gaian mind worms, making the soldiers of the R-112 rover corps the first Spartans to make contact with members of the Gaian faction since Planetfall. Continuing north, the R-112 rover corps soon found its way blocked by various Hive units. Sparta Command HQ resolved to send an expedition to south Yangland to reinforce the beleaguered unit against Hiverian aggression. Before the expedition could arrive, Yang savagely declared war on the Spartan Federation. Upon hearing the news R-112 bravely charged a Hiverian scout patrol, wiping out the Hive unit without a shred of damage sustained! The R-112 was even upgraded with a particle impactor, and later, as a part of an overall upgrading of Spartan military forces, R-112 was equipped with a gatling gun and trained in amphibious assaults.
Nevertheless, it was soon decided that it would be best to bring R-112 and the expeditionary force back home. But it was not to be. It was soon found that Gaian forces had blocked the passage back to the Spartan homeland. Diplomatic tensions flared, eventually resulting in war between the Spartan Federation and the Gaian Union. The R-112 rover corps jumped into action with extraordinary zeal and courage, flaming a Gaian mind worm and spore launcher and doing considerable collateral damage to two other units. Then, responding to orders to bring the Hive menace to justice, R-112 sailed over to the west to attack Huddling of the People. R-112 annihilated the garrisons, paving the way for the subsequent liberation of the city. The wrath of the R-112 onslaught convinced Yang to sign a truce with the Spartan Federation on the condition of returning Huddling of the People to Hiverian control. Finally, after many heroic feats and outstanding accomplishments, R-112 set sail for home. Yet scarcely had the crew of the R-112 made it back to their homeland and had a short rest from duty when they were called upon to be a component of a new Elite Rapid Response Brigade. Thus, the R-112 was upgraded with missile weapons, and it set sail to patrol the Arcadian Ocean.
After several uneventful years of sea-gin slurping contests, gratuitous eye-patch wearing, and reminiscing about their brief stays in various Hiverian brothels years ago during their conquests, the R-112 rover corps was suddenly called to action to confront Commissioner Pravin Lal and his “Peacekeeper” minions, who had just declared war on the Spartan Federation. The R-112 rover corps was ordered to assault U.N. Planning Authority, to which it sailed with lighting-fast speed. In conjunction with other forces the R-112 rover corps decimated the base garrisons and liberated U.N. Planning Authority, much to the delight of the oppressed Peacekeeper citizens.
And so the magnificent R-112 rover corps continues to serve the Spartan Federation with skill and dedication. Over the course of its service the R-112 rover corps has journeyed to four different continents. The crew of the R-112 has looked on three of the world’s oceans. They’ve set foot in the territory of four different factions and helped liberate two cities (both encased by perimeter defenses). These soldiers are the epitome of Spartan military prowess. Disciplined, battle-hardened, veterans of perilous wars, and soldiers of elite skill: the soldiers of the R-112 rover corps should serve as examples to every Spartan recruit of how one should strive to serve the Spartan Federation.
Fortress on the Sea: An Eyewitness Account of the Amphibious Assault on U.N. Planning Authority
Narrative by Captain Zeiter
The morning of the invasion was grey, chilly, and windy, although there was no precipitation. During the night we detached from our main transport ship and made our approach in our landing craft. As the first shades of dawn crept across the sky we could perceive the white and gold pinnacles of U.N. Planning Authority looming ahead of us. Exchanges of missile and machine gun fire began almost immediately at daybreak. We were still several kilometers out at sea when the first soldier of our crew fell dead to sentinel gun fire. We started our rovers and continued firing at the enemy, even though the rocking of the waves made our aiming imprecise. We soon struck upon the shore, opening our forward landing gates and driving our rovers out onto the beach.
“Be on alert for clusterf*cks!” I shouted, meaning, avoid colliding with crashed vehicles in front and creating pile-ups. A deafening explosion stung my ears, and a ball of fire scorched my left side. I looked to my left to see half of my rover missing. Fortunately, it still had four tires, but it had no steering wheel, which presented various difficulties - namely, the fact that I had no way to swerve out of the way of a quickly approaching wrecked rover, from which bright orange flames were billowing. The rover swerving violently, dove out of the cockpit, hitting the ground at about fifty kilometers an hour. I looked over to see my rover disintegrate in a great fiery crash and felt the heat on my (slightly) scraped and scorched skin. Rovers around me were slowing down. “Don’t stop!” I yelled. “Keep going! Get to the gates! Proceed with the attack!” I hobbled over a short way and timed a jump into a rover speeding past me. It was not fun. Nevertheless, I took a few swigs of fungal tonic and felt the burning liquid go to work right away dulling the pain.
As we approached the wall at about a distance of 300 meters, I could hear nothing over the screech of missile fire and sentinel guns spraying nearby rovers with thousands of bullets per minute. The perimeter defense near the gate was still stubbornly holding up. The gate was ringed with sentinel turrets embedded into the steel perimeter of the perimeter defense. Dozens of missiles were hitting the gate each minute, and yet the gate accommodated each strike with a slight shudder, nothing more. “Are we not getting direct hits on the right spots?” I wondered. I took aim at the bottom of the gate and fired a round from my rover’s missile launcher. With the explosion I noticed a small amount of sand, stone, and steel kicked up and a small depression in the ground at the bottom of the gate. “Fire at the bottom! Carve out an entrance!” I ordered on the officer audio-feed. A series of missile strikes hit the bottom of the gate, carving out a large culvert in the ground. “Forward! Rover crews over the top! Runners under the gate!” I ordered. All those still with rovers drove up to the walls, threw grappling hooks and hooked ladders over the walls, and proceeded to swarm over the top. Soldiers on foot who had had their rovers destroyed battled their way to the middle and progressed up towards the gate, sometimes crouching and firing from crater holes, sometimes charging forward at full speed like madmen. A reserve force stayed back and provided cover for the advancing groups. If the gate wasn’t going to be taken down by sheer force, then Spartan soldiers would have to swarm inside, secure the sentinel towers and outer perimeter, and open the gate from the inside. Then the rovers would be able to move in.
The runners at the gate, without any vehicles or armor, were getting massacred. The forces going over the top were getting tossed back. Only a few portions of the wall and a few sentinel towers had been secured. I was starting to come to the conclusion that I had gravely underestimated the Peacekeeper minions. I sent an audio-feed back to Googlie to report on the grim situation.
“And so the R-112 rover corps comes to its bloody end, so it seems. Unless the tides of this battle change very soon, I don’t see how we can take this city.” I explained.
Googlie sounded astonished. “What? This is not going at all as I had planned. What’s going on? I don’t see how we could not be advancing into the city right at this very moment. So you’ve already spent the second wave?”
“The second wave?”
“Why, of course. We recently had so many young Spartan recruits wanting to sign up for service in the renowned R-112 rover corps that we had to tack-on a second contingent to your unit. You weren’t briefed on this new development?”
After a long sequence of swearing I told Googlie that I would send in the second wave immediately.
The Peacekeeper defenses were already showing faint signs of failure when the second wave sped off their landing craft and onto the beaches. And these new recruits were no slouches, having been put through the distinguished Spartan training schools. When the second wave met up with the main contingent and joined with the attack already in progress, the Peacekeeper defense folded. In minutes Spartan commandos had secured the gate from the inside, and Spartan missile rovers were pouring into the streets of U.N. Planning Authority. The citizens of U.N. Planning Authority greeted the liberation of their city with understanding and hope; some were even cheering and dancing in the streets. I even talked with some citizens individually, most of whom whole-heartedly agreed with me that Lal’s declaration of war was both completely uncalled for and a sign of his covertly totalitarian nature. The citizens I talked with had complete trust in the Spartan Federation and promised to do everything that they could to bring their former master to justice.
That night all of the soldiers from the R-112 rover corps gathered around a great bonfire of Peacekeeper flags and had many a hearty ale to drink. Such was their tribute to their comrades, fallen and living, for another job well done.
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19-02-2005 06:43
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