10-08-2004 12:38									#1
	Monkey Madness!!! Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Monkey Madness

Surly Simians Run Amok in Pythonian Capital

Camelot, Jan. 71 AD — Thousands of monkeys are creating havoc in the corridors of power in the Pythonian capital, barging into government offices, stealing food, threatening bureaucrats, and even ripping apart valuable document

The increasingly aggressive animals swing effortlessly between the offices of the defense, finance and external affairs ministries, and have even been spotted in the prime minister’s office, government officials say. “They are moving in very high security areas,” said defence ministry officer Sir Ralph. According to estimates by officials, there are at least 10,000 monkeys scampering in and around the stately red sandstone buildings just a stone’s throw from the grand palace.

Can't Kill Monkeys

But officials say there is little they can do to deal with the monkey invasion of the government buildings, built by the country’s rulers several hundreds of years ago .Killing them is not an option because monkeys have equal rights as sentient beings. Authorities used to capture the monkeys and ship them to neighbouring states. But that option now is closed because many states say they have enough trouble coping with their own monkey population.
Chief Director of F.U.C.K Darekill said "Ha!!! I told you this would happen!!! They jhought I was crazy when I warned them that these monkies were vicious but they wouldn't listen, Oh how I warned them!!!"

Humans vs. Simians

Two years ago, the government had a high-level meeting to seek a permanent solution to the problem. Suggestions ranged from setting up a separate park for captured primates to “monkey contraception.”
But little has been done since then and government employees still walk warily to work armed with sticks and stones to prevent monkey attacks.
“I am sometimes faced with groups of monkeys, big huge looking fellows,” said government employee Rendelnep . “What I do is make some noise with my shoes so the monkey moves away. If that doesn’t work then I get the bow and arrow out, that usually scares em’ ”. Equal rights activists and pacifiasts say the main problem isn’t the rising number of monkeys but the growing population of humans. “We have encroached on their homelands, we have taken away their fruits, we have reduced their water sources and we are trapping them from their home range, from their forests, so they are coming to the urban areas,” said a expatriate Sunshine member.

Orignial Story here

http://abcnews.go.com/sections/worl...010109.html

	20-08-2004 01:32									#2
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quote: Monkeys attack women, children From correspondents in Khartoum 20aug04 HORDES of monkeys are running wild in the Sudanese state capital Kassala, attacking women and children and looting shops for food, Al-Anbaa newspaper reported today. The groups are going on the rampage in two suburbs of the city, close to the frontier with Eritrea, the newspaper said. The monkeys launch "organised attacks which last several hours", targeting "bakeries and grocery stores". They attack women and children, run into homes, "breaking kitchen utensils and snatching food from the children" and open the doors of refrigerators to get at the food inside, according to one resident, Salah Osman al-Khedr. He put the phenomenon down to the wholesale cutting down of trees which has deprived the monkeys of their sole source of food. The attacks start at dawn and sometimes last until dusk, he said.

http://www.theadvertiser.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5936,10506019^401,00.html

	20-08-2004 02:16									#3
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

A plague to mankind.

Or something.

	21-08-2004 08:38									#4
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

Monkeys WILL inheret the entire CIV world

Mu hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha