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PresidentMarcos
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Chapter 1:
The Major turned the knob and pushed the door open. Shutting it behind him, he strode up to the General’s mahogany desk.
“You wished to see me, sir?” he asked.
“Yes, Major,” the General replied. “I need to talk with you about a certain matter, the secret matter.”
“Continue, please.”
“As you know, the…the Chinese, they have…um…been….conducting colonization on Mars, as we have been doing.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Now we have recently had reports of a number of peculiar incidents.”
“I am aware of these, sir.”
“Recently, we have had operational losses in the ranks of our military forces in the theater. Several patrols have simply…disappeared.”
“Continue, please, sir.”
“Now we strongly suspect Chinese involvement. But before we make any accusations, we need to find proof. At this point, we have no wreckage nor survivors, and very few clues as to what happened. Piecing the puzzle together will require nothing but a genius.”
The Major’s face turned pale.
“And…who is this genius?” the Major asked.
The General opened an envelope that was lying on his desk and handed the contents to the Major.
“You’re going to Mars!”
The General took his PDA out of his breast pocket and pushed a button on the touch screen. Two burly security men grabbed the Major and dragged him away.
“No! Help me!”
The big one squeezed the Major’s neck, rendering him unconscious.
“Good work, boys,” said the General. “Have a promotion!”
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PresidentMarcos
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My therapist says that after what happened in that Martian gorge, the best way to deal with the nightmares and the flashbacks is to record my experiences. Before we begin, a brief disclaimer: If you want truth, look something else. In this story, I'm out to glorify myself and villify everyone else. Get used to it, bub!
I arrived on Mars on the 28th of April, having set off in late January. I spent most of the trip either sleeping or complaining to the crew about the horrible state of the toilet facilities. Believe me, it's very hard to answer the call of nature in 1/8th gravity. After what seemed like an eternity of eating that horrible space food crap and vomiting into the provided bags (the captains birthday was on the 2nd of March, and guess what I gave him!) we finally got to our destination, the Fourth Dirtball Whizzing Round and Round the Sun at Horrible, Vomit Inducing Speeds, or Mars, as it is otherwise known, all 36 passengers (this was a relatively small vessel, the big ones can carry a small town worth of people) took a lander down to the surface. This was, in my opinion, the worst part. I vomited all over the person sitting next to me. He in turn vomited on the other person, and soon the cabin required major cleanup. Sure enough, the lander hit the surface, and when it did, we all put on our helmets and shoved our way out of the hatch. Once we had done that, we proceeded towards the huge dome that covered Zubrin City, the US's main Martian settlement. Just inside, at the reception terminal, there was the vicious, drooling pervert known as the customs officer. After a few others before me had passed, I was the one to be inspected.
"Hello, sir," he said in his high, nasal voice.
He took our a rubber glove after discarding his previous one, then stretched the new one over his hands. He began to reach towards me. I was rather infuriated. I kicked him in the crotch not once, not twice, but thrice. Then, I punched him in the face.
"Keep your ******* hands to yourself, you ******** piece of ******* ****! **** you!"
Everyone stared at me until I flashed my ID, at which point everyone got out of my way.
"I'm not normally like this, I just downright ******* hate ******* space travel!"
A mother covered her childs ears.
"That's much better," I said.
The General, that is, the other one, strode up to me, a smile on his face.
"Good to see you, Major."
"Yes, good to see you too, sir."
"Come along. We have some business to take care of. Valium?"
"Yes, actually."
And this is actually what happened. Wait till you get to the violent parts.
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PresidentMarcos
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I grabbed the bottle of Valium out of the General's hands, pushed down on the cap as I twisted, then dumped it all into my mouth. Immediately, I felt better.
The General stared at me with eyes the size of saucers.
I handed the empty bottle back to him. (Note: In today's world, we tend to eat antidepressants like candy.)
"So, General," I said, as we got into the hovercar, "What's the problem?"
"Well, as you know, we've lost several partrols in the Martian desert. We suspect Chinese involvement, but as you know, we have no evidence. Right now, we're going to look. You're coming along, Major."
I rolled my eyes and began to fume.
"It'll be all right. There shall be a big escort and so on. We'll go to the last known GPS fix of the first patrol. Then, the next patrol. And so on, and so forth. We lost five patrols in total."
"So, do we expect to find wreckage?"
"Yes."
More of Chapter 2 a bit later. I'm in a hurry right now. Sorry, guys!
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18-08-2004 06:10
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