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Illuminatus is offline Illuminatus
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  Old Post 08-10-2004 15:13 Visit Illuminatus<br><img src=/forums/images/staff-icon.gif>'s homepage!
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Voice of the Planet Issue #7: Suns on the horizon Help yourself to an AD-FREE life





Fear not, the Planet is your friend.

In this issue:



*Weather Paradigm completed!

*Cha Dawn accepts peace initiative

*Diplomatic scandal!

*Learning with Planet

*Quote of the Day

*Other news in brief

*Advertisement

*Entertainment

*A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Gaian Union

*Hagar the Gaian






Weather Paradigm completed!




In the first years after Planetfall, every faction has devoted resources to exploration and evolved its own version of Centauri Ecology. Most of the factions treat Planet as a resource to be exploited in the desperate quest for survival. However, we in Gaian Union have the foresight to take a different approach.
We followed the ideal of the so-called "Weather Paradigm," treating Planet as a source of mystery and enlightenment, first suggested by our beautiful leader, Lady Deirdre Skye. We chose to submit to Planet, thoroughly understanding local ecosystems before taking any action that might disrupt them, instead of taking acts without consideration, as other factions do.
This strategy may cost us a great deal in the short term, as resources badly needed for immediate survival were devoted instead to exploration and research. Still, the Weather Paradigm will bring immense benefits in the long run. Our deep understanding of Planet and its systems is greatly multiplied by the Weather Paradigm and it will increase effectiveness of our former teams. We will be able to build up our economic infrastructure with great speed now the Paradigm is fully developed. Paradigm also allows us to try some of more advanced types of terraforming, which have been only been discussed in theory. Since some of them may cause serious disruption of Planet's ecosystems, Council will have some serious discussion about use of them in future.
Meanwhile, we also established a training school for terraforming engineers, which will become the envy of every other faction. Eventually, former teams from all over Planet will come to learn the secrets that the Weather Paradigm had uncovered and we shall welcome them in school with pride (contact embassy of Gaian Union for details).
Lady Deirdre Skye made a speech at the opening ceremony:

Before 41 years, I made a promise to a group of people that we shall learn from our mistakes. I gave them a hope, a dream about a society that is willing to remit for mistakes made by our ancestors.
41 years later, the dream is far from reality. But we are making steps towards making it real. When we landed on Planet that was the first step. When we established our faction, that was the second. Many steps have been made since then, and many more shall be yet made. Completion of the Weather Paradigm is the latest step in our path, but it is also a manifestation of our ideology.
It shows that understanding Planet, rather rejecting its strange ways can yield great successes for both us and Planet. Understanding complex weather patterns of Planet shall help our efforts and reduce overall damage to Planet. Since we will be able to contain our efforts to a smaller area, less of Planet's surface shall be disturbed by our growth.
I call other factions to follow our way, and seek partnership with Planet, since man and Planet can learn a great deal from each other. Our minds should always be open to new possibilities.




Cha Dawn accepts peace initiative!



After a 22 hour meeting with Lady Deirdre at secret location, Prophet Cha Dawn has accepted peace initiative of Lady Deirdre. Planet Cult will stop all terrorist actions and abandon Gaian Union in exchange for amnesty for all Cult members and full control of a colony pod, which will be build and given to Cult to found their own faction. Area near border with Hive is to become future lands of Cult of Planet which should be consider an indenpendent faction when the time comes.
Public has accepted this with mixed feelings:
'The Cult of Planet is a terrorist organisation! They are responsible for deaths of hundreds of innocent civilians! They should be trialed and executed, not given amnesty and colony pod!' says Earl Grayne, former operator whose wife was badly wounded in terrorist attack two years ago.
'I am glad we found a peaceful way to deal with it. After all, peace is the Gaian way. We need to seek a diplomatic solution always. Without it, the attacks will surely continue.' - say Lord Hans Weltschmerzzeger,
'Lady Deirdre is creating a buffer zone between us and the Hive, and is also stopping dreaded attacks, which our police force was unable to do so. I believe Cult will concentrate on Hive and leave us alone, so everybody wins.' - comments Lord Illuminatus.
Colony Pod is nearly complete, and will be in comission next mission year. Lordship of Law and Order is already preparing a full amnesty for all Cult members. General Darsnan has set forces on alert in bases nearest to Hive. Meanwhile, confusion grows among public. Some say this is a huge leap forwards, other comment this is a historical mistake, only time will tell.





Learning with Planet


Although the mind worms are the most terrifying of Planet's creatures, there are other dangerous animal forms which have similar symbiotic relationships with the xenofungus.

The monstrous sealurk lives in the deepest parts of Planet's oceans. How it survives at such depths is unknown, since there is very little food or dissolved oxygen available in its normal range. Its tie to the xenofungus is also unclear. Its relationship with humankind is similar to that of the mind worms, however. From time to time it emerges from the deep waters to attack ships, pelagic bases, or coastal colonies.
A sealurk is a long, serpent-like creature with a massive head, reinforced by bony armor forming a kind of natural ram. Most of its body has no armor protection, except the already mentioned head. It's mass ranges from 1 to 8 tons, depending of age and experience of the sealurk. A sealurk uses a telepathic attack similar to that of a mind-worm boil, attempting to paralyze its victim in preparation for ramming. Once the victim's defenses are silenced and it is relatively motionless, the sealurk uses rams to break through any armor and reach the edible material inside. When attacking physically, a sealurk will try to ram at full speed. A sealurk is perfectly willing to attack ships, or coastal and offshore colony bases.
A sealurk will withdraw from combat if the victims' defense has not yet collapsed by the time it uses up about a quarter of its energy on psionic attacks. It will also withdraw if it can find no way to batter through the armor of its prey. Otherwise, it will attack until it can sink a ship or wreck base facilities, picking off as much edible prey as it can.





Quote of the Day



Friendship makes prosperity brighter, while it lightens adversity by sharing its griefs and anxieties. (Lat., Secundas res splendidiores facit amicitia, et adversas partiens communicansque leviores.)


-Marcus Tullius Cicero



Diplomatic scandal?



A rising star among Lords, Lord Ouro_827 has became a public blunder for the Union, according to some reports. He has disregarded his duties in Lordship of Diplomacy couple of times, and he has admitted not reading GAIA or other Lordship reports. Meanwhile, he is spending more and more time drinking in mysterious locations. Some even say they've seen him going to Hive lands. Not only he drinks, he is drinking iced blood! . A Gaian contacted his regional Lord in order to start discussion about this in the Council. His close friends are appealing him to join anti-addiction programs.
Lord Ouro claims that he is simply making friends in other factions. Sharing stories and bottle is all just part of a diplomat's job, he claims. Staff of Voice of the Planet was ready to say several good words for him. "He has submitted several articles, and he helps us when he can." - says Louisa Plain, chief entertainment editor. Also, chairman of GAIA, lord [censored] claims that Ouro regulary visits all embassies but prefers to be silent, and that this accusations are pointless. Other claim that he is simply busy with new program found in datalinks - Rome: Total War - rumours tell that is a educational one. Two opposing sides, but what is the truth? Members of the High Council are mostly on Ouro's side, but public opinion is against him.





Entertainment



A drone and a doctor are talking about test results in a field hospital. 'Doctor, please tell me the truth. Am I alright?'
'I am sorry son, but you swallowed mindworm eggs while eating fungus. They have spread through out your body and when they hatch, their larvae will kill you instantly."
'Oh dear! How much time do I have left?'
'15'
'15 what? Years, months, weeks or days?
'11, 10, 9, 8....'



Two drones are talking.
'What place is more distant, Pholus moon or University?'
'University obviously.'
'Why?'
'Can you see University from here? Duh.'

Stories for our Lordship of Progress (names have been altered):

[operator]Good day to you, and welcome to TechSupport of Gaian Union.
[customer]Hello. I wish to get a free technology using Network Node but it doesn't seem to work.
[operator]Okay. Let's go through this step by step. First check if your Network Node is plugged in.
[customer]It is.
[operator]Okay. Check the screen of the Network Node and verify it is on and is receiving enough power.
[customer]It is.
[operator]Now let's start recalibration of holographic imaging devices. First we will....
[about 45 minutes later]
[operator]Okay. Try it now.
[customer]Nope. No free techs for me.
[operator]That is strange. Let's examine the AA then. Make sure it is in right positi-
[customer]Wait a minute! I have to have an AA in order to get free tech from Network Node?
[operator] Argghh! Those drones! We need more talents around here.
*ends connection*
[customer]This sucks. Why do I need an AA for a free tech?


[customer]Hello. I have a problem.
[operator] How can I help you?
[customer]I am trying to capture a native lifeform, but it isn't working.
[operator]Which one? Mindworm? Spore launcher? Isle of the Deep?
[customer]No... I am not sure how is it called.
[operator]Describe it to me.
[customer]It is round, grey, it is sessile....
[oeprator]Sir, a rock is not a native lifeform. Believe me.




Other news in brief



*Gaians rejoice at completion of the Weather Paradigm. Meteorologists faint from happiness.

*Xenologists may have a spectacular discovery, rumours tell.

*Market examination shows apparent monopoly of Voice of the Planet, staff both confused and happy

*Asylum to Foreman Domai denied, however escort to University teritory has been offered to him. Lordship of Diplomacy awaits response.

*Tourism income increases by twenty five percent compared to last year.

*Lord Smacksim lost in hurricane attack, search parties dispatched

*Former teams assemble for construction of new and experimental terrain improvements.

*Navy decides to investigate strange reports at sea.

*Forests continue to expand.

*Virus spreads through Planetary Networks, misspellings and other errors increase



Advertisement



Do you wish to do something for Gaian Union? Do you wish to contribute? Government has started a great reorganisation and they have a job for everyone. Your participation shall be rewarded.

This a research sponsored by Voice of the Planet Marketing Department(TM). We are interested in our number of regular readers. As a part of our new policy, we offer email delivery of your favourite Chiron newspaper. For details contact publisher via PM.

Buy the new Learning with Planet DLD! Order at
www.morgazon.com ! We offer a discount of 15 percent for all purchases until mission year 2144!





A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Gaian Union



Part Three - The Planet Parkway

Located near Lady Deirdre's Planet-friendly mansion is the nerve of the Union itself - the roadway known as 'Planet Parkway.' The road itself runs is out of place in the capital of the Union - while the city is build along orderly, concentric circular roads, the Parkway runs in many directions all over the place, even once turning, looping, and crossing itself (where, most incidentally, traffic accidents are most likely to occur in the entire faction). This road follows what is said to be the first design idea of the original colonists - that all roads should follow the natural contour of Planet. This was, of course, dismissed as a very stupid idea, and many thought that the head of the former team had had one too many xenobrews, but not before the Planet Parkway was built. The solution, when the 'more natural' circular roads were first built, was to simply to build over the Parkway. Though, even today, there are occasionally calls for the designers of the Parkway to be taken out into the street and shot.

While the streets of Gaia's Landing were built intentionally to encourage walking and public transportation, the Parkway was built for vehicles. The wide lanes are generally the only place you'll find individual cars moving about, most of them on official business from one part of the faction to another.

Planet Parkway is lined trees along it's entire length,which stretches to all of the factional bases, to make the manmade construction more environmentally friendly. And, since it was build by the formers to follow the natural contour of the land, the road is filled with curves. The longest straightway stretches 1km along the rather dull White Beach (which, ironically, is around 42km from any body of water).

The road is a very pleasant sight-seeing drive. Bus tours are generally available every day, and cars may the cheaply rented to allow one to drive himself. It is not recommended that one walk, though, since a great many areas of the roadway were constructed along xenofungus, where you might be ambushed by a rouge spore launcher or, as has been the case of a number of young students hiking near a mysterious monolith, you may be verbally insulted by a rather dishelved-looking Chairman Yang (he has been spotted several times in several areas, reported yelling as passers-by 'Your mother was a hampster, and your father smelt of xenoelderberries').



Authors of the Issue: Octavian X, Illuminatus, with material from Jon F. Zeigler


No native lifeforms have been harmed in making of this newspaper. No Earth plants or animals have been harmed in making of this newspaper, although victims of colony pod Hope shall be remembered forever.
No Gaian life has been harmed, most of staff is still running naked through the trees (what stamina) and has not yet met the punishment for not submiting promised articles.
Be prepared for more issues soon! Gaia'sLanding.MY2141-4582.45hdlg447643.--hr.56tz.

Edit history: removed xenobug


Hagar the Gaian*


in episode: Fungus or food?

*Hagar the Gaian is not in any way stealing or copying the original Hagar the Horrible. All rights are reserved to author of Hagar the Horrible, Chris Browne. This comic uses graphics of the comic with the respect towards the author and comic, and does not intend to claim any of the rights reserved for author. We do nto not intend to disgrace the author and the character in any way, and if author requests, comic shall be removed. We appreciate the talent of the author and quality of the comic.

Last edited by Illuminatus on 09-10-2004 at 14:01

GeoModder is offline GeoModder
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The most erratic Overlord!
Jan 2004
time: 06:21
  Old Post 08-10-2004 18:40
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Hope that drone upthere doesn't has eggs in his soup...

Micha is offline Micha

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Technical University of Ilmenau, Germany
Oct 2002
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  Old Post 15-10-2004 02:40
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Good work, again!

I really hope the MorganLink Magazine will be published soon, it´s almost finished by now..

quote:
where you might be ambushed by a rouge spore launcher


One thing:
I propose to officially change the spelling of the word "rogue" to "rouge". Three reasons:
- everybody already spells it that way
- it is french and thus sexy
- one more step on Morgan´s way to world domination through "frenchization" (=devastating any military effectiveness) of treehuggers...

Kassiopeia is offline Kassiopeia
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Jyväskylä, Finland
Jul 2001
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Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

On point one: No they don't.

On point two: Yes, but it means something completely different. "Rouge" in French is "red", the colour, while "rogue" in English means someone who is outside the law, a criminal, a renegade, a criminal, a thief, etc.

On point three:

Micha is offline Micha

King
Technical University of Ilmenau, Germany
Oct 2002
time: 06:21
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Increase the size of your Attachments

On your "on point one": Sure they do! I have read about 200 times "rouge" on a forum for an online game where it should be "rogue", and now I read it here, too... Coincidence?

On your "on point two": I know Though it´s rather unimportant what it means, as long as it sounds good

Kassiopeia is offline Kassiopeia
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Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

On your "on your "on point one"": That still doesn't make it right.

On your "on your "on point two"": Pfft.

Illuminatus is offline Illuminatus
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Hmm.. Octavian is the author of the Hitchhiker's Guide, I guess it is his call how to name it.

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