18-05-2005 07:40									#391
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Czar Mickeyj,

I must inquire to the purpose of your very large Army due east of Stettin. It is very impressive in it's might. My scouts report a Cossack army group with many other individual Cossack units, a large contingent of infantry, and eight grand batteries. You are two clicks within British borders. Please redirect your troops due east.

Additionally, a naval task force has been spotted east of Kristianstad in the Baltic Sea. This is also within British territorial boundaries. Please alter your heading due east back into Russian waters.

Yours,
King Shogun Gunner of England

	18-05-2005 07:41									#392
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Camel courier to Sultan Andydog (Jan 1805)

	18-05-2005 16:40									#393
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--> Mike

	24-05-2005 13:18									#394
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And MArch 1805 Onwards

	24-05-2005 20:02									#395
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March 1805 to Lord Gunner

	24-05-2005 21:57									#396
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can't wait to get home to see if the Russian army group and naval task force have continued moving West deeper into British territory or have returned to their borders back East

	24-05-2005 22:18									#397
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The peaceful Russians...

the very people who would not face the French in Battle...

	25-05-2005 07:19									#398
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Dearest Czar Mickeyj of Russia,

I have a grave concern. My polite request regarding your troops returning to your territories seems to have been ignored. My scouts report that the Russian army group has continued to advance on Posen, United Kingdom.

I must inform you that I have overruled my military advisor, who recommended an immediate strike against your forces around Posen, UK and against the Russian naval task force in the Baltic. In reviewing the data, I do concur with my military advisor, who guaranteed England would have triumphed on both land and sea.

So, my dear friend, let us both take a step back from the abyss. Turn your forces around. If they are in British territory next turn, they will not return home alive.

Yours,
King Shogun Gunner of England

	25-05-2005 07:21									#399
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March 1805 Sacred Save delivered by boat to the Ottoman shores, courtesy of the British Navy.

	25-05-2005 16:00									#400
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THe troops have been instructed to move it appears they had not received the new commands last turn.

	25-05-2005 16:03									#401
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So.
The English are starting to throw their weight around are they.

Care to teach them a lesson Rasputin?

	25-05-2005 16:10									#402
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oh lesson teachers are you?

	25-05-2005 16:34									#403
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The Sultan is never shy of teaching a lesson or two.

In fact he inquired after the frogs this morning. Apparently the spanish amongst you are sick of being badly treated, and are close to boycotting snails in favour of bull fights.

	25-05-2005 16:57									#404
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is that right

last time I saw you in the area your lads were running back home

	25-05-2005 18:19									#405
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I don't know about "throwing our weight around", but defending British citizen's rights, life and property is my only concern. If France or England had parked a signficant number of troops and artillery next to an Ottoman city what would your reaction be?

Perhaps the 'ole Sultan is considering a first strike....

	25-05-2005 18:44									#406
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That old Sultan is a mischievous fella isn't he. Take no notice of him, he's only stirring the poo-pot.

We have no quarrel with the Brits, or anyone who makes fish n chips as good as they do.

Would the English be interested in some fine Ottoman dyes perhaps? We can discuss it over a cup of tea if you like.

Edit - spelling

Last edited by Andydog on 25-05-2005 at 18:53

	25-05-2005 19:35									#407
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uh oh. What a crafty fella you are. It must be hard hiding your secret. Yes, I know the Sultan's deep dark secret.

I know your past -- you were (ARE!) British. It must be difficult convincing the other camel jockeys that you are a real Turk -- an Allah fearing Muslim --- an Arab. Those typical British features must be tough to cover up with makeup every day. And who do you trust to tie your turban up for you every day? If your subjects knew you couldn't even tie a turban... Poor sap. And how did you ever hide that accent????

quote: Originally spoken by the British subject, Andydog, posing as an Ottomon Sultan Tally ho, good chap! Join me for a spot of tea in my tent? I must have set me bum in the camel dung -- oh, bloody hell.

Listen, the Royal Navy is in force in the Aegen Sea. You have a choice. Get aboard one of your rickety "boats" and paddle over to our fine Man-o-War/Ship of the Line vessels and return back to England -- your roots. Your mum misses you. Or send that floatjam you call a navy over to challenge us. If you choose the later, I might have to inform the Turkish mullahs of your real identity.

It's your choice, but the way I see it, you don't seem to have much of a choice, "old chap".

Sincerely,
Your King, the King of England, King Shogun Gunner

	27-05-2005 09:00									#408
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Uhhh.... take no notice of me if I'm stirring the poo-pot too much.

	27-05-2005 09:11									#409
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ahhh the Sultan of Swing

	31-05-2005 15:07									#410
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quote: Originally posted by Shogun Gunner uh oh. What a crafty fella you are. It must be hard hiding your secret. Yes, I know the Sultan's deep dark secret. I know your past -- you were (ARE!) British. It must be difficult convincing the other camel jockeys that you are a real Turk -- an Allah fearing Muslim --- an Arab. Those typical British features must be tough to cover up with makeup every day. And who do you trust to tie your turban up for you every day? If your subjects knew you couldn't even tie a turban... Poor sap. And how did you ever hide that accent????

crickey now there is an accusation and a half! Of course to suggest there is English in a man such as the Sultan, whose heart clearly pumps only the richest and mightiest blood of the Ottomans, is quite absurd. In fact, we understood it was indeed the king of England who puts on the makeup, (every Tuesday night and sometimes on Friday), the makeup nicely complimenting his collection of bright frilly dresses.

	31-05-2005 15:52									#412
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Damn. Acusation is a two way street!

	31-05-2005 16:33									#413
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Indeed.

The sultan recalls a conversation he overheard during the Summit of Versailles between the King of England and his ambassadors. Apparently went something like this:

"Tell you what lads, when I get back to the Palace I'm going to rip the Queen's knickers off."

"Feeling frisky your highness?"

"Naaahh.. the elastics are hurting my legs."



the turn is with jet setter Mike btw, who will be back from Eastern Europe on the 12th.

	31-05-2005 21:23									#414
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this made me laugh

Attachment: pbf014adcheckshot.jpg
This has been downloaded 27 time(s).

	31-05-2005 21:24									#415
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and this one

Attachment: pbf011adhammerscrewed.jpg
This has been downloaded 27 time(s).

	13-06-2005 10:09									#416
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awesome stuff

	14-06-2005 12:37									#417
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Turn Away.

Queen shogun ;-)

As you will notice I have removeed my troops from your lands, now please remove your fleet from my waters.

tzar

	14-06-2005 15:34									#418
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1799, to Gunner, May 1805 AD.SAV


Game On

	15-06-2005 07:57									#419
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May 1805 to the Sultan

	15-06-2005 11:42									#420
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July 1805 --> Ra Ra Rasputin

I trust Queen Shogun of England won't mind my boat sailing past Gibraltar?