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Micha
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Technical University of Ilmenau, Germany
Oct 2002
time: 06:19
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| MorganLink Mag. Issue 3:
"A relic of the past"
CRIMINAL ARRESTED IN "GREED LAW" CASE!
Morgan Industries Insider[WrG]
The Morgan Department of Criminal Justice has confirmed having in custody a person whom has engaged in the biggest violation of a Law in Morgan Criminal Law called "Deterence to Conducting Unprofitable Forms of Business Deals" It has been dubbed the "Greed Is Good Law". Namely, the Greed is Good law makes it illegal to knowly give goods and or services without recieving compensation in return. Many high ranking Morganites consider its knowing violation at odds with the very principles Nwabudike Morgan himself founded Morgan Industries upon. This person has been charged with over 500 counts of this heinous crime on the children of Morganites. Strangely, most of the victims are known delinquents, and a few have been caught violating the Greed is Good Law themselves! Far more children are reported to have recieved chunks of carbon.
A father of one of the victimized said "I think this a Hive plot to undermine the values our society holds dear! The Hive hates us and what we stand for, because are wealthy, and they can't afford even a single Xenocomfort Pillow! I know my child has a weak spirit and can only calculate the values of options on futures, but not their derivatives, but this is too much. I hope Chairman Yang dies a slow death in the fungus without a single joule!"
When asked for comment, the perpetrator said, "You are the greediest people on planet and need to learn the meaning of Christmas." When he tried explain the meaning of Christmas, many in the court shrieked in horror. Some even got heart attacks. A few hardliners are calling for his execution as a Hive spy. "He is really a Hive spy trying to subvert us! He even wears a red suit! You can be damned sure he's pushing for a planned economy!"
This menace has been observed to terrorize all of the factions on planet with the aid of a prelanding sled and 8 xenodeer which seem to use gravantonics technology by ways our scientists have yet to understand. Somehow this fellon is able to conduct all his evil deals under in a single planet night. For some reason, this fellow terrorizes planet once a year at night, when the days are the shortest of the entire year. Historians say that a similar fellow lived on earth, but was suspected as a myth.
THE LATEST PRODUCTION OUT OF MORGAN PUBLIC RELATIONS AND PROPAGANDA
By arginine
From the creators of the Recon Rover Rick series comes a production of good vs evil, freedom vs oppression and capitalism vs beuracracy. This is the story of Litigator Linslow sent to the base Central Planning in the evil communist nation to negotiate a trade treaty. During his stay, Litigator Winslow sees the communist nation first hand is the hell it is know to be. Citizens are expected to feed and house the garrisons for free?!?! Property is owned by the state, and economic activity is PLANNED by commitees in the capital. Drone riots are prevented by brutal suppression by the military, and not with facilities, or simple luxuries like Xenocomfort pillows?!?! People are expected to work long hours for the good of the state instead of money in a civilized nation?!?! Even in death, the citizen serves the communist nation by "become one with the people". Litigator Linslow overhears plans for a surprise attack to conquer the luxurous base of Morgan Geothermal in the name of the chairman. Linslow thinks of his daughter pledging alliegance to the inept chairman and knows action must be taken. With the aid of his fellow litigators and 200 EC, they showed the righteousness of capitalism to the brainwashed people of Central Planning.
Nwabudike Morgan himself calls in Linslow to scold him for endangering the peace. Linslow delievers a seething speach to Nawbudike Morgan for compromising his principles for the evil chairman. Morgan realizes the error in his ways, and refuses to give the emancipated people of Central Planning back to the evil chairman. Morgan then convinces neighbors of the communist nation to invade with the help the treasury. In the end, Linslow is congrajulated for his congrageousness by Nwabudike Morgan and given a substantial cash prize.
FIRST EVER WEALTH OLYMPICS BEGINS!
To celebrate the glory that is Capitalism, the Executive Board of Morgan Industries has just wrapped up the opening ceremonies of the Capitalism Games, or the Wealth Olympics. The games, which run for the next two weeks, are to be held in Morgan Industries. More in line with the Olympics of Old Earth fame are more traditional events, such as Track and Field or swimming; where each division of Morgan Industries competes with the best Athletes that money can buy.
In an effort to update the games, modern events have been created, such as the 1000m Hostile takeover and synchronized accounting. Also included is this reporter's favorite event of Office Medley: Where a team of four must be the first to complete a circuit of copying, faxing, promoting, and firings.
The games will be held every other year, rotating between MI Field Offices.
M.I.S.E. Update!
After a fantastic two year climb, the Morgan Industries Stock Exchange has leveled itself into a safe (yet profitable) growth rate. Using the Value and Net Depreciating Energy Reserve formula (The VaNDER Formula), stock analysts have set the market Value at 1,385,004 EC and climbing. Those Analysts predict "There is no where to go but up!"
In related news: MichaSoft Systems has been taken over by itīs own daughter company "MichaSystemsIntegrated", which now is the largest supplier of information technology on planet. While the management denies any relationship to the DataAngels faction, some analysts claim to have proofs for that faction being MSIīs main costumer...
| Previous Issue
Quote of the day: "Knowledge is Power; so is Money. Whichever is true, I know that I have money."
Morgan Industries unveils new "Department of Silly Walks"
In an effort to understand why people are the way that they are, the executive board of Morgan Industries has opened a new Department. The Department of Silly Walks (DSW) will be accepting applications for everything from CEO to mail peon. All that is necessary is some sort of stride that is not normal, or silly. Send applications to Morgan Industries Center for Mail Management, 214 Euro St. Morgan Industries, Area code 0001
Breakthrough in transportation research!
Reported by Micha
As "Morgan Institute of Research" (MIR) PR-manager Albert Kuftlheimer announced yesterday, another huge step has been taken in their BioTech program.
For the first time in history, Morganic scientists and bioengineers managed to produce, or better breed, a food-producing automobile!
Named "Motocattle", it can be used just like an ordinary cycle for personal transportation (note that itīs driven by Biomass, which it also produces in the conversion process); But the really remarkable thing is its ability to provide enough milk for a driver and up to three fellow passengers every day!
Should you crash it, itīs not rendered completely worthless, no! It can still be "recycled" into 400 pounds of Goulash!!!
This revolutionary discovery will also be beneficial for other factions:
For the Gaians, because itīs not only ecologically friendly and quietly operating, it also presents a new species they can protect!
For the Spartans, itīs a perfect reconnaisance vehicle, as due to its biological character it wonīt be identified as military equipment.
Even the Believers will finally be able to replace simple horse-driven carriages, as their religion might accept the "Motocattle" as godīs creation...
Educating the Poor
Reported by Arginine
(Part One - Educating a Spartan)
Reporter: How is the soldier from the Spartan Federation doing?
Spartan: Sir! I am the Commanding officer of the five thousandth and eighty ninth recon rover assembly line! My current job is not as a member of the military, but I understand that I may be called into the military at moment's notice, at which time I will be of rank Corporal sir!
Reporter: Are these rovers like the recon rovers used by "Recon Rover Rick"?
Spartan: No sir! The recon rover used by "recon rover Rick" was rover model 1565! Our line now produces the rover model 1623 sir!
Reporter: How have our efforts gone to train our friend here in the ways of "Wealth"
Morgan teacher 1: It's a dissaster. He doesn't even desire the basic comforts like the ScorpioCorp Xeno Comfort PillowsTM! He prefers to sleep on the floor instead. He's had xenochoclate, xenorum, or even xenodoughnuts . The only thing that he enjoys are holovids of combat and war movies. Even then he says he feel 'inspired' to do 1000 pushups and run a few miles with a portable missle launcher on his back. If we can't get to his inner greed, we have no hope of teaching the Spartans "Wealth".
Spartan: Sir! I would like that Gatling laser instead of these projectile weapons!
Morgan Teacher 1: No! That's an advanced prototype.
Reporter: At least he'll make a fine soldier.
Stay tuned for the next editionīs chapter "Part Two: Educating a Gaian" !
In Other News
- Former Chief Editor Vander disappeared. Last lifesign a postcard from "Sunny Mesa" dated MY 2131 ...
- Rumours say the last issue of MorganLink was published 34 Mission Years ago... Rumours lie!!!
- All Gaians are naked pot-heads? Who knows...
- Several top managers drowned while taking a "bath" in their money bins...
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Editor this issue: Vander / Micha
Editor in Chief: Vander | |
Last edited by Micha on 02-11-2004 at 20:27
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02-11-2004 17:01
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