27-01-2005 01:16									#1
	New poem Get a bigger avatar today!

Here's a new one for you. Hope you like it! It's called "I love you (but your labia minora look like wicket-keeper's gloves)".


I'd dreamed about your knickers ever since my puberty
and you made my dreams come true when you asked me round for tea.
But when I got inside them, I knew it would bode ill
'cos it felt OK, but it looked like roadkill.

Your labia minora look like wicket-keeper's gloves.

We've made the duvet rock for the past eleven years
but my knees still knock when your thighs are wrapped around my ears.
I know that I'm shallow, but I still want to ease in
to something that I find more aesthetically pleasing

Your labia minora look like wicket-keeper's gloves.

I love you, yes it's true, but prepare yourself for shock
for your "pant kebab" has become a stumbling block
I can't deny the fact that I'd like a nice 'un.
Not one that's done ten rounds with "Iron" Mike Tyson.

Your labia minora look like wicket-keeper's gloves.

So my bags are packed and I won't come back no more
and the sharp heartbreak just cuts me to the core.
But I can't turn back, I've just got to leave
I can't deal with a mimsy like a wizard's sleeve.

Your labia minora look like wicket-keeper's gloves.

Oh who could have guessed that our future would hinge
on the sight of your large and leathery minge?

Your labia minora look like wicket-keeper's gloves.






I'm going to go straight to hell, aren't I? Where does this madness come from?

	27-01-2005 01:18									#3
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Don't talk to Dutch ppl any more...

	27-01-2005 01:18									#4
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Didn't the Sex Pistols record this?

	27-01-2005 01:28									#5
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If they did, they owe me a motherlode of royalties, the bastards.

	27-01-2005 01:33									#6
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quote: Originally posted by Japher Don't talk to Dutch ppl any more...

Eh... where do we fit in in all this?

	27-01-2005 01:34									#7
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It's a Counterglow thing. We have really weird Dutch people.

	27-01-2005 01:43									#8
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I'm the king of generalizations

	27-01-2005 01:47									#9
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Now that's what I call poetry!

	27-01-2005 02:04									#10
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Not enough teen angst. Can't possibly be a poem.

	27-01-2005 03:14									#11
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I've written poems too.
Ja, slowik, tu bylem (cytat z Niobe)

Mar chmary, komary
Nad glebia kasaja
Mur stary, konary
Nad glowa zwisaja

Slow cztery, litery
Na glucho zatarte
Przez Kery; rudery
Drzwi glowne otwarte

Mir? Swiry, wampiry
Skra glosy zaprosza
Mor; zbiry w rewiry
Tej gluszy zaprosza

W te bory; potwory
Tam glodne czyhaja
Swiat Kory; kolory
Tak glosne, sypiaja

I chmury, kontury
Sa gladkie, ciemnoscia
Lad bury, ponury
Jest glazem, cichoscia

----

I glupi i durny znow
Tych dawnych niepomny zdarzen
Od cudzych i obcych snow
Do wlasnych powracam marzen

----

I jeszcze jeden!

"Butelka"

Jak czesto w przejeciu
Wzdycha za pewnym panem
Poznanym na przyjeciu
Z hojnie lanym szampanem

Musi czasem poplakac
Widac to ciezka dola
Kompletnie sie zakochac
W barze pijac jabola

Straszny smutek przezyla
Byla to milosc wielka
Kompletnie sie skonczyla
Niczym wina butelka

OK, You won't understand a thing.
Learn Polish!

	27-01-2005 04:47									#12
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Pant kebab

	27-01-2005 07:17									#13
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quote: Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp It's a Counterglow thing. We have really weird Dutch people.

Talk about redundant...

"CG", "weird" and "Dutch" all in the same sentence?

	27-01-2005 07:27									#14
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Laz, you are a credit to your nation.

	27-01-2005 10:26									#15
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I don't know where you get these ideas from, but I hope they continue to come regularly.

	27-01-2005 11:02									#16
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You've done it again.

ACK!

	27-01-2005 12:12									#17
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quote: Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp It's a Counterglow thing. We have really weird Dutch people.

seeing as i have a marginally tighter grasp on the rules of the game,

"100 - nil."

	27-01-2005 12:19									#18
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Would only be valid if Hueij knew that in advance, sb.

And type in regular letters goddamnit.

	27-01-2005 12:35									#19
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quote: Originally posted by self biased seeing as i have a marginally tighter grasp on the rules of the game, "100 - nil."

Not obvious to you, sb. Obvious to the person who made the post that resulted in the totally obvious response.

Look at 100-nil as 1st degree homicide. It is 100% premeditated, not some roadkill that you happen upon and claim as a trophy of your prowess.

	27-01-2005 13:44									#20
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not bad, it's certainly no young marble giants, though.

	27-01-2005 13:54									#21
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and here was I thinking Spike Milligan was dead

(bravo Laz)

	27-01-2005 15:27									#22
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things that I didn't understand:

knickers
bode ill
labia minora
wicket-keeper's gloves
duvet rock
"pant kebab"
nice 'un
mimsy
wizard's sleeve
minge

	27-01-2005 15:46									#23
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those were the bits the mods didn't get either

	27-01-2005 16:15									#24
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quote: Originally posted by Atahualpa things that I didn't understand: a: knickers b: bode ill c: labia minora d: wicket-keeper's gloves e: duvet rock f: "pant kebab" g: nice 'un h: mimsy i: wizard's sleeve j: minge

a; Ladies' necessary articles. Also found in ice cream parlours as part of a dessert.

b: Someone who has a heavy cold is explaining to the teacher that the twins are absent through sickness.

c: A small holiday resort near the palace of Knossos in Crete.

d: A disfiguring affliction of the hands or groin, associated with an English summer's day, rain and triumphal Australians.

e: A form of self-abuse associated with solipsistic teenagers into thrash metal.

f: A misheard order for a number of items of fast food of Asian origin in Wales.

g: Exclamation commonly heard amongst all male groups on the passing of wind, especially after the ingestion of 'f', or alternately on the sighting of 'c'.

h: Alternative term invented by a mathematician/storyteller for 'c'.

i: What the neck of a Hollywood actress of d'un certain age should look like, were it not for scalpels and industrial strength bulldog clips.

Also: alternative name for Michael Howard

j: Seaside town renowned for its fishing fleet on the south east coast of England.

I hope my role as Ezra Pound to il miglior fabbro, Lazarus, has been of some assistance.

(p.s., Laz, 'pants kebab' flows better, and you need to brush up on your rhythm method)

	27-01-2005 18:11									#25
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Ouch!

Can someone translate THAT?

quote: b: Someone who has a heavy cold is explaining to the teacher that the twins are absent through sickness.

What's twins got to do with it?

quote: d: A disfiguring affliction of the hands or groin, associated with an English summer's day, rain and triumphal Australians.

I assume this is ORed.
so triumphal Australians = wicket keeper's gloves.
affliction of the hands in summer or during rain (wtf?) = ...gloves

quote: e: A form of self-abuse associated with solipsistic teenagers into thrash metal.

So if I dare to translate Laz poem into english:
I'd dreamed about your makeup ever since my puberty
and you made my dreams come true when you asked me round for tea.
But when I got inside them (rel. dreams, i'spose), I knew I would fake illness
'cos it felt OK, but it looked like hit and run.

Your sunny place feels like an affliction on my hands during rain.

We've been on self-abuse for the past eleven years
but my knees still knock when your thighs are wrapped around my ears.
I know that I'm shallow, but I still want to ease in
to something that I find more aesthetically pleasing


Your sunny place feels like an affliction on my hands during rain.

I love you, yes it's true, but prepare yourself for shock
for your asian fast food has become a stumbling block
I can't deny the fact that I'd like a nice fvck.
Not one that's done ten rounds with "Iron" Mike Tyson.

Your sunny place feels like an affliction on my hands during rain.

So my bags are packed and I won't come back no more
and the sharp heartbreak just cuts me to the core.
But I can't turn back, I've just got to leave
I can't deal with the speed of light like the aging neck of a hollywood actress.

Your sunny place feels like an affliction on my hands during rain.

Oh who could have guessed that our future would hinge(???)
on the sight of your large and leathery seaside town?

Your sunny place feels like an affliction on my hands during rain.



And slowly this begins to make sense...

	27-01-2005 18:31									#26
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quote: Originally posted by Atahualpa What's twins got to do with it? And slowly this begins to make sense...

Both in English refers to two (as in the two of them= the twins).

If you have a heavy cold, it impairs your ability to pronounce consonants, so 'both' becomes: 'bode' .


Yours, cunningly linguistically.

	27-01-2005 20:03									#27
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Well thank you sir!

	27-01-2005 20:04									#28
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quote: Originally posted by Atahualpa Well thank you sir!

Dane ardour.

	28-01-2005 09:28									#29
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this poem seems to be biographical

	02-02-2005 23:39									#30
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Please excuse the bump, but FYI: http://www.dangermouse.net/cricket/gloves.jpg