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MacPhearson
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I regularly play MP with a college buddy, and any difficulties we have had setting up games can be attributed to our connections. Firewalls and routers have been the real culprit in such situations. I assume that both of you have opened up the corresponding ports on your routers? In our case, even though neither of us use a non-windows firewall, and even though each of us has opened the same ports, only I can host games. The router my buddy uses prevents him from hosting from what we can ascertain.
In addition, we have tested this with a wireless Motorolla router in which case I could not host games either unless I used a DMZ settings which pretty much opened all my ports and served as a beacon to some unwanted software. This leads me to believe that there is another router port or setting that is blocked off in some routers.
To recap, this sounds like a connection problem to me. Verify that you both have your port settings correct, I find this is normally the case. If that doesn't fix it, it may be the router.
Btw, we have played MB on all 3 variants of civIII, so if you two have been using the same set up for a while, then maybe there is something beyond my experience with it. Good luck.
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