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BustaMike is offline BustaMike
King
You think you're better than me? You've been handling my ass pennies!!!
Nov 1999
time: 21:25
  Old Post 13-02-2005 05:48 Visit BustaMike's homepage!
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#1 Report this post to a moderator
WoW, Jesus saves virtual souls Inflate your Upload Space

You gotta love Landover Baptist.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0105/wow.html

quote:
Winning Souls to Christ in The World of Warcraft
Christian Video Gaming News

Christian game enthusiasts around the US are turning the world of Azeroth inside the new video game, "World of Warcraft" into a mission field, where virtual battles are fought and real souls are won to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Billy Houston, a Landover Baptist Senior High youth, has been sharing Jesus in the virtual gaming world for over three years. "I evangelized in Lineage 2, Everquest, Diablo, and a bunch of other games," he says, "but I haven't seen nearly as many people who are as open to hearing the Gospel message as I have inside the World of Warcraft." Billy has what gamers call, a Level 57 Undead Priest with Holy Focus. "I'm also in one of the largest Christian guilds on our server," he says. "I think the reason so many people are open to hearing about Jesus in the World of Warcraft is because the majority of people who play the game are lonely kids who don't have any friends. I doubt any of them play sports so you can pretty much guess that there are lots of gay boys and fat little pale-faced Wiccan girls on the servers who hate themselves and escape into virtual characters so they don't have to deal with their pathetic lives. When they hear that someone loves them, even if it is just the Lord Jesus Christ, they always want to hear more!"

The World of Warcraft is ripe for eager young Christian evangelists to ply their trade. "I'm studying to be a missionary at Liberty University, in Lynchburg, Virginia," says one gamer (who prefers to remain anonymous) and sharing the Good News of Jesus in Azeroth is a great way to practice soulwinning in Arkansas, where I'm from originally. I think that when Jesus said in Mark 16:15, Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature, He knew that True Christians™ like me in the future, would be called into virtual worlds where we'd be witnessing to gnomes, trolls, night elves and all sorts of other creatures. I also think that verse applies to Christian astronaut missionaries in the future who will encounter and evangelize unsaved alien life forms on other planets. I believe with my whole heart that Christian gamers are sincerely answering the Great Commission of Jesus and we are able to do it without getting out of our chairs or leaving our bedrooms. I bet the Apostle Paul is so jealous!"

One prospective missionary at the Landover Baptist Christian Academy says, "Most people who are mean, liberal, nasty, lonely, unsaved losers in real life choose to play the Horde (an evil race of characters in the World of Warcraft) and people and guilds who are conservative, Republican and pretty much easier to win to Jesus Christ with are found in the Alliance. That's why the real True Christians™ pick the Horde to play as characters and start their guilds in Horde territory because they like the challenge of sharing Christ's message in a perilous, lava-soaked, environment. Sometimes you have to pester people for weeks before they listen to you. I followed some stupid gnome around for 8-hours until he finally told me that he would accept Jesus as his Personal Savior if I would just promise not to contact him anymore. Now that rocks!"

"I really like our guild leader," says young Billy Houston. "He has a strict policy against letting unsaved people join our group. I think he's from Alabama in real life. In fact, he won't even party-up with anyone who isn't a Christian. He's a level 60 Priest, and gets a lot of respect. He can climb right up to the top of the dwarf statue by the gates of Stormwind City and start street preaching to the Dark Elves and they will listen to everything he says. He's done conversion duels on multiple servers where he challenges other players to duel with him. If he wins, they accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. If he loses (which he never has) he will give them 6 pieces of silver."

Christian gamers are also excited that they are able to live out their faith in the same way the early True Christians™ did, before their religion was sissified by liberalism, science, and political correctness. "It is such a rush to kill other players who refuse to accept Jesus Christ as Lord," says one gamer. "I feel like I can really practice my faith the way God intended it. It is like I'm fighting alongside Christians of old, instead of the pansies and sissies from my Sunday school class."

Young Billy explains that it is very simple to announce the message of God's love across the World of Warcraft game channels. "I have a hot-key macro that broadcasts, Jesus Loves You! Please Love Him Back or He Will Burn You in Hell! PM Me if you want to learn more! across four channels. I do it right when I log in. I usually get PM'd (Private Messaged) by a few characters who I then add to my buddy list. I follow them around the game, across snow-capped mountains, and blasted wastelands until they accept Christ or persecute me so much that I have to report them to the server administrators for making fun of my religion. I think I've been responsible for getting over thirty accounts suspended for bigotry directed at me because of my faith."

Landover Baptist Pastors originally expressed some concern over the game because it looked like it promoted occult activity. "I told Pastor Deacon Fred that every single time I find an item that looks like it has something to do with the occult, I hop on a griffin and head straight to Ironforge where I auction it off. Christian gamers shouldn't be carrying that stuff around. We don't enter places that serve alcohol in the game either. It is just not a good testimony. All the money I make from selling occult items to unsaved gamers, I auction off on E-bay for real cash, which I then put into the offering plate at our church on the last Sunday of each month."

Unspeakable Horror is offline Unspeakable Horror
Emperor

Oct 1999
time: 02:25
  Old Post 13-02-2005 05:55
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#2 Report this post to a moderator
Put an end to popups!

Good roleplayer

DinoDoc is offline DinoDoc
Emperor
AECCP loves Democracy
Sep 1999
time: 23:25
  Old Post 13-02-2005 05:57
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#3 Report this post to a moderator
Remove this text

I bet the people inflicted with the spam hope for non-consesual PvP to be enabled against those people.

BustaMike is offline BustaMike
King
You think you're better than me? You've been handling my ass pennies!!!
Nov 1999
time: 21:25
  Old Post 13-02-2005 05:58 Visit BustaMike's homepage!
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#4 Report this post to a moderator
Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

PvP is enabled. It shipped with PVP enabled. That's part of the game

DinoDoc is offline DinoDoc
Emperor
AECCP loves Democracy
Sep 1999
time: 23:25
  Old Post 13-02-2005 05:59
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#5 Report this post to a moderator
Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

What are you talking about Mike?

BustaMike is offline BustaMike
King
You think you're better than me? You've been handling my ass pennies!!!
Nov 1999
time: 21:25
  Old Post 13-02-2005 06:01 Visit BustaMike's homepage!
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#6 Report this post to a moderator
Enter the AD-FREE zone

Ah!!! You DanS'd your post .

Kuciwalker is offline Kuciwalker
Emperor
of Schmooism
Feb 2001
time: 00:25
  Old Post 13-02-2005 06:54
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#7 Report this post to a moderator
Tired of ads?

I thought landoverbaptist was a real website, but some of that is just too stupid not to be satire... is it?

Q Cubed is offline Q Cubed
Prince
t3h y3ll0w p3ril
Apr 1999
time: 23:25
  Old Post 13-02-2005 07:04 Visit Q Cubed's homepage!
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#8 Report this post to a moderator
Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

kuci:

it is satire.

the sad thing is...

landover baptist has an article on how god struck down the columbia shuttle.

a few days later, godhatesfags.com of fred phelps and westboro baptist fame, also had an article about how god struck down the columbia shuttle.

==

one of landover's more inspired articles is about SARS, or Sino-sinners Are Rightly Slain. Those nese...

Jaguar is offline Jaguar
King
Montgomery County, MD
Apr 2000
time: 00:25
  Old Post 13-02-2005 07:08
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#9 Report this post to a moderator
Put an end to popups!

quote:
Originally posted by Kuciwalker
I thought landoverbaptist was a real website, but some of that is just too stupid not to be satire... is it?

No. Objective.jesussave is a real website. landoverbaptist is fake.

Immortal Wombat is offline Immortal Wombat
Prince
in perpetuity
Dec 2000
time: 05:25
  Old Post 13-02-2005 07:10 Visit Immortal Wombat's homepage!
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#10 Report this post to a moderator
Support Apolyton

The Landover Baptist church which has an 18 years of age limit on its website? not satire?

Kuciwalker is offline Kuciwalker
Emperor
of Schmooism
Feb 2001
time: 00:25
  Old Post 13-02-2005 07:14
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#11 Report this post to a moderator
Suffering from ads?

quote:
Originally posted by Q Cubed
kuci:

it is satire.


Verto is offline Verto

King

Mar 2002
time: 23:25
  Old Post 13-02-2005 08:38
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#12 Report this post to a moderator
Inflate your Upload Space

They should expand into Halo 2.

Join the sInDiE!! clan

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