20-02-2005 22:07									#1
	Other love advice thread with a poll Got spare money?

Yep I'm proud to join the ranks of those folks who ask for love advice on 'Poly.

I have a situation and I'm curious what you guys have to say.

Last Halloween I met this hot chick and we hit it off. After a while I determined that she was much older than me. It's not an issue for me but it may play a factor in what's going on.

Anyway to make a long story short, here's several points:

She's in the States on a visa and has been trying to get a green card.

She's in her 30s. She also claimed that out of all men she was with, I'm the only one whom she can truly enjoy certain adult x-rated activities and actually have big 'O's. It's a nice compliment and certainly an ego boost. However it doesn't make my situation any easier.

As time goes by, I'm starting to find her more and more annoying. Now I'm no longer interested in being in a relationship with her.

Right now she's in Ohio until May for a theatre production tour. If you haven't defered this yet, she's a stage actress.

She will be in my area as a part of her tour in mmm March I believe.

I definitely want to get out of this relationship. That's my problem - I was never too good at breaking up. I usually wait for her to break it up. Much easier that way since it'd be mutual. But with this girl, I seriously doubt that she will initate the break-up. She told me about this guy she used to date - after three months she wanted out but he kept crying and crying so she felt bad and stayed with him. She finally left him three years later. So it's clear to me that I have to do the dirty work here.

Yes I'm an emotional sissy or whatever you want to call it. I'm too sensitive for my good.

My options as I see it are:

A. Break up now. However the only method of communication we have is email. I feel that's kind of harsh - breaking up via an email. I want to give her as much of an enclosure as possible to help her to move on. She can be rather dramatic. She's an actress after all!

B. Wait until she's in town for her tour and before we do anything naughty, tell her how I feel. The downside is that I know she'd be very excited to see me. So this'd be unexpected bad news for her. Probably mess up her acting.

C. Wait until the entire tour is over and tell her once she's back into the town. Seems like the best option.

No matter what choice I make, I predict a lot of drama. Sigh.

	20-02-2005 22:29									#2
	Got spare money?

Undermine her efforts to get a green card, then when her visa expires she'll have to leave the country.

You will still get to enjoy "x-rated" activites with her too.

ACK!

	20-02-2005 22:30									#3
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Break up now. Send her an e-mail asking for her to call you or meet up if that's possible.

If this is the way you feel, you shouldn't prolong your relationship, even by being just passive. It won't make it easier the longer you wait, and you both deserve a clear image of how the other one feels (for lack of a better way of phrasing it).

	20-02-2005 22:31									#4
	Suffering from ads?

That would work too.

ACK!

	20-02-2005 22:36									#5
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

Strictly speaking, I didn't ask for romantic advice, I just asked WTF had happened...just to clarify.

I have no idea what to do about your predicament, other than ask somebody with experience in relationships specifically if at all possible. There are too many people like me on this board.

	20-02-2005 23:02									#6
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Sei radikal!

Terminate it now.

	20-02-2005 23:22									#7
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

how about just telling her that certain behaviors of hers are kinda wierd and that she should stop doing that.

	21-02-2005 02:29									#8
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

quote: Originally posted by Elok Strictly speaking, I didn't ask for romantic advice, I just asked WTF had happened...just to clarify. I have no idea what to do about your predicament, other than ask somebody with experience in relationships specifically if at all possible. There are too many people like me on this board.

Guess I was right in the first place - that I should do it right away.

	21-02-2005 04:28									#9
	Inflate your Upload Space

Get the girl deported.....?

	21-02-2005 04:37									#10
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

C

She may already have hints of what you are up to, by the way. Something probably feels weird or you conversations seem a bit off.

If I was her, I would want it to be A, but I'm different, I don't have time to f around with crap like this. But for some reason I think interrupting her tour with this would be a bad idea, so I'd error on the side of caution.

The big question is, how are you going to explain this to her when she asks why?

Tough situation playa, it's never fun to be in!

	21-02-2005 04:39									#11
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

You have to do it face to face. Anything else is a disgrace if you had any feelings for the girl at some point. Face to face, it deserves it. You feel a lot better afterwards when you do it properly.

	21-02-2005 04:40									#12
	Support Apolyton

SuperCitizen/Naked Finnish Army Heartthrob is correct.


Email is wack, face to faceis class.

How come you don't like her, by the way?

	21-02-2005 04:42									#13
	Support Apolyton

Next time she emails you, send her an email saying you couldn't receive it.



:P ACK!

	21-02-2005 04:46									#14
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Ted Striker, I am righteous.

	21-02-2005 08:17									#15
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker SuperCitizen/Naked Finnish Army Heartthrob is correct. Email is wack, face to faceis class.

I agree - I definitely prefer face to face. Doing it via an email, that's just cowardly. I could instant message her but that's not same as face to face.

quote: How come you don't like her, by the way?

Couple of things. For one thing she's so insecure it drives me nuts. A lot of women are insecure but she's worse than the most. She can be paranoid - she keeps worrying that I'd cheat behind her back and stuff like that.

Common sense is something she's very short on. I can't think of an example right now but it's definitely annoying. Sometimes I find myself wondering how she managed to survive this long.

She isn't a social person - she prefers to be alone with me. Normally that doesn't bother me as long she understand that I do want some time with my friends. If she doesn't want to come along, that's her choice.

She's a terrible kisser :P

That's all I can think of.

I'm sure she noticed that the vibes are different. I haven't heard from her in several days now.

Pretty what I would tell her is that I do not want to be in a relationship right now which is true anyway.

Don't get me wrong - she's a terrific gal and she does have wonderful aspects to her personality. She's just not for me.

	23-02-2005 10:42									#16
	Put an end to popups!

She contacted me today and asked what's going on. So I told her. The dilemma has been resolved.