 |
| |
|
|
Sn00py
|
 |
From New Zealand
Aug 2001
time: 13:16
|
|
As many will know, Superman 5 or rather Superman Lives will be released 2006.
I watched Superman 1 and 2 on DVD recently, and noticed many many... physical.. impossibilites, and other errors.
If Superman picked up the Statue of Liberty, would it cumble?
If Superman held someone's hand, would Superman have to try so hard to be gentle so as not to crush the hand? Would that not be a momental task everytime he has to touch something or bump into something?
and so on
So.. what would it really be like to have Superman's powers?
The reason I ask, is because I think the physics, the reasons, need to make sense in the movie, they need to be accurate and believable.
These are his powers:
Strength:
No one knows how strong he is yet, but let's just say, that he is "biggest swear word ever" strong.
X-Ray
Heat-Vision
Super Speed
Flight
Invulnerability
Super Hearing
Super Breath
There are others, (smaller ones, like the ability to hold his breath for hours) but the above are the main ones.
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Brent
|
|
Batman was neither super nor hero. this is true. He can't possibly compare to any superhero. As I see it, in the movies and comics, he's not much of a hero. Way too dark. Superman is by definition THE superhero. Aquaman, Green Lantern, and Flash are good too, in that order.
|
|
| |
|
|
|
techumseh
|
 |
of the frozen North.
Apr 1999
time: 22:16
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Sn00py
As many will know, Superman 5 or rather Superman Lives will be released 2006.
I watched Superman 1 and 2 on DVD recently, and noticed many many... physical.. impossibilites, and other errors.
If Superman picked up the Statue of Liberty, would it cumble?
If Superman held someone's hand, would Superman have to try so hard to be gentle so as not to crush the hand? Would that not be a momental task everytime he has to touch something or bump into something?
and so on
So.. what would it really be like to have Superman's powers?
The reason I ask, is because I think the physics, the reasons, need to make sense in the movie, they need to be accurate and believable.
These are his powers:
Strength:
No one knows how strong he is yet, but let's just say, that he is "biggest swear word ever" strong.
X-Ray
Heat-Vision
Super Speed
Flight
Invulnerability
Super Hearing
Super Breath
There are others, (smaller ones, like the ability to hold his breath for hours) but the above are the main ones. |
You forgot 'telescopic vision'.
|
|
| |
|
|
|
SnowFire
|
 |
New York City, NY
Jan 1970
time: 00:16
|
|
What GePap said. Also, while I'm generally willing to suspend disbelief over any one thing, it gets hard to do it over multiple things. Superman's incredible powers, okay, we can let that pass. But in order to give him a good challenge, his villains have to be similarly overpowered.
That said, the one thing that Superman has that he really shouldn't is super-speed. If Superman was merely a flying invulnerable super-strength thing, then sure, he can do a lot of stuff, but he can't be everywhere at once. He'd actually have to use his brain in order to at least be in the right location to stop the baddies. With super-speed, I mean, heck, he could be the entire world's cop if he wanted, not to mention do quite a bit more as far as constructive civilian projects (which sadly do not make good comic book material, but for an altruist with super-powers, would in some ways be far more rewarding than merely fighting crime).
Edit: So getting back on topic, how does super-speed work anyway? Does your mind actually speed up as well? If so, then wow, Superman truly is unstoppable. He's living 1000 times more than the rest of us, brain-wise. If not, then you'd think super-speed would cause problems if you weren't flying at a very high altitude- oops, I accidentally ran over that cat at 1,000 miles an hour. Heck, even at altitude, you'd have to be careful not to fly into planes, meaning you couldn't use your super-speed as much.
That said, I think it's pretty clear that Superman has his mind speed up as well, since I think he's done things like instantly tie up criminals with rope, which would require a bit of precision. I wonder if there's any balancing factor? Like, when he uses super-speed, does that age him faster, for instance?
Last edited by SnowFire on 12-03-2005 at 10:34
|
|
| |
|
|
|
GePap
|
 |
of the Big Apple
Nov 2001
time: 23:16
|
|
I must say I generally hate "flying" as a superpower, because most of the hero's who 'fly' do so in some completely magical way.
Already accepting a large willingness to ignore reality, one could imagine that the kryptonian race grew up in say much higher gravity, or whatever, for some reason the race is superstrong (thought crushing coal into dimonds is just, well, silly)- but what does being super strong have tyo do with the ability to ignore gravity and it seems all other basic universal forces, and move about whichever way you wanted? The hulk is also usperstrong, but the writer of that comic seems to understand this does not mean flying. I can accept some telekenetic character flying, in theory they are simply throwing themselves about, or some character like storm, who in theory has control over air pressure...but someone like Rogue should not fly because Miss Marvel had no reason to have that ability, anymore than Superman.
Batman rocks because his character is relatively utterly believable- a vigilante who trained himself to fight, and happens to have enough cash to buy himself the best toys possible.
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
|
JohnT
|
 |
Capitalist
Mar 1999
time: 00:16
|
|
Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex
by Larry Niven
quote:
He's faster than a speeding bullet. He's more powerful than a locomotive. He's able to leap tall buildings at a single bound. Why can't he get a girl?
At the ripe old age of thirty-one (*Superman first appeared in Action Comics, June 1938*), Kal-El (alias Superman, alias Clark Kent) is still unmarried. Almost certainly he is still a virgin. This is a serious matter. The species itself is in danger!
An unwed Superman is a mobile Superman. Thus it has been alleged that those who chronicle the Man of Steel's adventures are responsible for his condition. But the cartoonists are not to blame.
Nor is Superman handicapped by psychological problems.
Granted that the poor oaf is not entirely sane. How could he be? He is an orphan, a refugee, and an alien. His homeland no longer exists in any form, save for gigatons upon gigatons of dangerous, prettily colored rocks.
As a child and young adult, Kal-El must have been hard put to find an adequate father-figure. What human could control his antisocial behavior? What human would dare try to punish him? His actual, highly social behavior during this period indicates an inhuman self-restraint.
What wonder if Superman drifted gradually into schizophrenia? Torn between his human and kryptonian identities, he chose to be both, keeping his split personalities rigidly separate. A psychotic desperation is evident in his defense of his "secret identity."
But Superman's sex problems are strictly physiological, and quite real.
The purpose of this article is to point out some medical drawbacks to being a kryptonian among human beings, and to suggest possible solutions. The kryptonian humanoid must not be allowed to go the way of the pterodactyl and the passenger pigeon.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I
What turns on a kryptonian?
Superman is an alien, an extraterrestrial. His humanoid frame is doubtless the result of parallel evolution, as the marsupials of Australia resemble their mammalian counterparts. A specific niche in the ecology calls for a certain shape, a certain size, certain capabilities, certain eating habits.
Be not deceived by appearances. Superman is no relative to homo sapiens.
What arouses Kal-El's mating urge? Did kryptonian women carry some subtle mating cue at appropriate times of the year? Whatever it is, Lois Lane probably didn't have it. We may speculate that she smells wrong, less like a kryptonian woman than like a terrestrial monkey. A mating between Superman and Lois Lane would feel like sodomy-and would be, of course, by church and common law.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
II
Assume a mating between Superman and a human woman designated LL for convenience.
Either Superman has gone completely schizo and believes himself to be Clark Kent; or he knows what he's doing, but no longer gives a damn. Thirty-one years is a long time. For Superman it has been even longer. He has X-ray vision; he knows just what he's missing. (*One should not think of Superman as a Peeping Tom. A biological ability must be used. As a child Superman may never have known that things had surfaces, until he learned to suppress his X-ray vision. If millions of people tend shamelessly to wear clothing with no lead in the weave, that is hardly Superman's fault.*)
The problem is this. Electroencephalograms taken of men and women during sexual intercourse show that orgasm resembles "a kind of pleasurable epileptic attack." One loses control over one's muscles.
Superman has been known to leave his fingerprints in steel and in hardened concrete, accidentally. What would he do to the woman in his arms during what amounts to an epileptic fit?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
III
Consider the driving urge between a man and a woman, the monomaniacal urge to achieve greater and greater penetration. Remember also that we are dealing with kryptonian muscles.
Superman would literally crush LL's body in his arms, while simultaneously ripping her open from crotch to sternum, gutting her like a trout.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IV
Lastly, he'd blow off the top of her head.
Ejaculation of semen is entirely involuntary in the human male, and in all other forms of terrestrial life. It would be unreasonable to assume otherwise for a kryptonian. But with kryptonian muscles behind it, Kal-El's semen would emerge with the muzzle velocity of a machine gun bullet. (*One can imagine that the Kent home in Smallville was riddled with holes during Superboy's puberty. And why did Lana Lang never notice that?*)
In view of the foregoing, normal sex is impossible between LL and Superman.
Artificial insemination may give us better results.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
V
First we must collect the semen. The globules will emerge at transsonic speeds. Superman must first ejaculate, then fly frantically after the stuff to catch it in a test tube. We assume that he is on the Moon, both for privacy and to prevent the semen from exploding into vapor on hitting the air at such speeds.
He can catch the semen, of course, before it evaporates in vacuum. He's faster than a speeding bullet.
But can he keep it?
All known forms of kryptonian life have superpowers. The same must hold true of living kryptonian sperm. We may reasonably assume that kryptonian sperm are vulnerable only to starvation and to green kryptonite; that they can travel with equal ease through water, air, vacuum, glass, brick, boiling steel, solid steel, liquid helium, or the core of a star; and that they are capable of translight velocities.
What kind of a test tube will hold such beasties?
Kryptonian sperm and their unusual powers will give us further trouble. For the moment we will assume (because we must) that they tend to stay in the seminal fluid, which tends to stay in a simple glass tube. Thus Superman and LL can perform artificial insemination.
At least there will be another generation of kryptonians.
Or will there?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VI
A ripened but unfertilized egg leaves LL's ovary, begins its voyage down her Fallopian tube.
Some time later, tens of millions of sperm, released from a test tube, begin their own voyage up LL's Fallopian tube.
The magic moment approaches...
Can human breed with kryptonian? Do we even use the same genetic code? On the face of it, LL could more easily breed with an ear of corn than with Kal-El. But coincidence does happen. If the genes match...
One sperm arrives before the others. It penetrates the egg, forms a lump on it's surface, the cell wall now thickens to prevent other sperm From entering. Within the now-fertilized egg, changes take place...
And ten million kryptonian sperm arrive slightly late.
Were they human sperm, they would be out of luck. But these tiny blind things are more powerful than a locomotive. A thickened cell wall won't stop them. They will *all* enter the egg, obliterating it entirely in an orgy of microscopic gang rape. So much for artificial insemination.
But LL's problems are just beginning.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VII
Within her body there are still tens of millions of frustrated kryptonian sperm. The single egg is now too diffuse to be a target. The sperm scatter.
They scatter without regard to what is in their path. They leave curved channels, microscopically small. Presently all will have found their way to the open air.
That leaves LL with several million microscopic perforations all leading deep into her abdomen. Most of the channels will intersect one or more loops of intestine.
Peritonitis is inevitable. LL becomes desperately ill.
Meanwhile, tens of millions of sperm swarm in the air over Metropolis.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VIII
This is more serious than it looks.
Consider: these sperm are virtually indestructible. Within days or weeks they will die for lack of nourishment. Meanwhile they cannot be affected by heat, cold, vacuum, toxins, or anything short of green kryptonite. (*And other forms of kryptonite. For instance, there are chunks of red kryptonite that make giants of kryptonians. Imagine ten million earthworm size spermatozoa swarming over a Metropolis beach, diving to fertilize the beach balls... but I digress.*) There they are, minuscule but dangerous; for each has supernormal powers.
Metropolis is shaken by tiny sonic booms. Wormholes, charred by meteoric heat, sprout magically in all kinds of things: plate glass, masonry, antique ceramics, electric mixers, wood, household pets, and citizens. Some of the sperm will crack lightspeed. The Metropolis night comes alive with a network of narrow, eerie blue lines of Cherenkov radiation.
And women whom Superman has never met find themselves in a delicate condition.
Consider: LL won't get pregnant because there were too many of the blind mindless beasts. But whenever one sperm approaches an unfertilized human egg in its panic flight, it will attack.
How close is close enough? A few centimeters? Are sperm attracted by chemical cues? It seems likely. Metropolis had a population of millions; and kryptonian sperm could travel a long and crooked path, billions of miles, before it gives up and dies.
Several thousand blessed events seem not unlikely. (*If the pubescent Superboy plays with himself, we have the same problem over Smallville.*)
Several thousand lawsuits would follow. Not that Superman can't afford to pay. There's a trick where you squeeze a lump of coal into its allotropic diamond form...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IX
The above analysis gives us part of the answer. In our experiment in artificial insemination, we must use a single sperm. This presents no difficulty. Superman may use his microscopic vision and a pair of tiny tweezers to pluck a sperm from the swarm.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
X
In its eagerness the single sperm may crash through LL's abdomen at transsonic speeds, wreaking havoc. Is there any way to slow it down?
There is. We can expose it to gold kryptonite.
Gold kryptonite, we remember, robs a kryptonian of all of his supernormal powers, permanently. Were we to expose Superman himself to gold kryptonite, we would solve all his sex problems, but he would be Clark Kent forever. We may regard this solution as somewhat drastic.
But we can expose the test tube of seminal fluid to gold kryptonite, then use standard techniques for artificial insemination.
By any of these methods we can get LL pregnant, without killing her. Are we out of the woods yet?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
XI
Though exposed to gold kryptonite, the sperm still carries kryptonian genes. If these are recessive, then LL carries a developing human foetus. There will be no more Supermen; but at least we need not worry about the mother's health.
But if some or all of the kryptonian genes are dominant...
Can the infant use his X-ray vision before birth? After all, with such a power he can probably see through his own closed eyelids. That would leave LL sterile. If the kid starts using heat vision, things get even worse.
But when he starts to kick, it's all over. He will kick his way out into open air, killing himself and his mother.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
XII
Is there a solution?
There are several. Each has drawbacks.
We can make LL wear a kryptonite (*For our purposes, all forms of kryptonite are available in unlimited quantities. It has been estimated, from the startling tonnage of kryptonite fallen to Earth since the explosion of Krypton, that the planet must have outweighed our entire solar system. Doubtless the "planet" Krypton was a cooling black dwarf star, one of a binary pair, the other member being a red giant.*) belt around her waist. But too little kryptonite may allow the child to damage her, while too much may damage or kill the child. Intermediate amounts may do both! And there is no safe way to experiment.
A better solution is to find a host-mother.
We have not yet considered the existence of a Supergirl. (*She can't mate with Superman because she's his first cousin. And only a cad would suggest differently.*) She could carry the child without harm. But Supergirl has a secret identity, and her secret identity is no more married than Supergirl herself. If she turned up pregnant, she would probably be thrown out of school.
A better solution may be to implant the growing foetus in Superman himself. There are places in a man's abdomen where a foetus could draw adequate nourishment, growing as a parasite, and where it would not cause undue harm to surrounding organs. Presumably Clark Kent can take a leave of absence more easily than Supergirl's schoolgirl alter ego.
When the time comes, the child would be removed by Caesarian section. It would have to be removed early, but there would be no problem with incubators as long as it was fed. I leave the problem of cutting through Superman's invulnerable skin as an exercise for the alert reader.
The mind boggles at the image of a pregnant Superman cruising the skies of Metropolis. Batman would refuse to be seen with him' strange new jokes would circulate the prisons...and the race of Krypton would be safe at last. |
|
|
| |
All times are GMT. The time now is 05:16.
Apolyton Time is 00:16. |
top of page
|
|
|
Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is ON
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON
|
|
|
|
|
|
12-03-2005 08:22
Attachment: 
ACK!
|
