07-05-2005 01:15									#1
	Why Wouldn't It Just Fly The f*** Away Remove this text

Ok, I've been sick the past three days. Spent most of my time in the bed and today I get out for the first time and went to have lunch with my girlfriend. So I'm driving back not feeling very well and I see this bird standing on the highway in my lane and it takes off running to the side of the road. About a second later I notice a second one running across to but now I'm getting close. Now I don't want to kill it. I'm not in a killing mood by far because the BBQ was making me a bit sick to my stomach. I slow down but the bird decides to go squirrel on me and start back across the road to the other side. Not flying mind you but now just walking around

It wouldn't ****ing fly like it should and I wasn't gonna stop for it It lost the game of chicken and became a dead bird

I just hope it wasn't a momma bird, it being so close to mothers day and all. But in the movies its always the girl running behind so odds are it was the chick bird. Now I have a dead bird on my conscience along with a stopped up head and runny nose.

PS. And it wasn't a road runner or anything. It looked like a sparrow. If it's not deer or squirrels or possums, its ****ing birds I kill.

	07-05-2005 01:19									#2
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was your girlfriend in the car with you? How did she react?

	07-05-2005 01:19									#3
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I once plowed into a bird and it got stuck in my grill... I ended up at a gas station in Bakersfield prying a dead bird out of my car.

Best day of my life.

Also, my wife once cried when she nailed a squirrel on an off ramp. Sorry Boshko, I laughed.

	07-05-2005 01:20									#4
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So...why did it cross the road?

	07-05-2005 01:21									#5
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quote: Originally posted by Dissident was your girlfriend in the car with you? How did she react?

She was back to school when I hit it. She will probably laugh when I tell her. She ran over a rabbit about two months ago with her 6 year old daughter in the car. Talk about having to have a big long talk about that later before bedtime.

Momma, we need to talk about you killing the bunny. Talk about heartache.

	07-05-2005 01:22									#6
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quote: Originally posted by The Emperor Fabulous So...why did it cross the road?

To feel the power of some goodyear tires apparently

	07-05-2005 01:28									#7
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So far I've hit:

Three deer (I live in Oregon, though one was in Jersey)

1 Crane type bird, beautiful all white. It was in Florida and a whole mess of them were on a road. I slowed as they took off in a flock, but then when it was already safe, one, just one, turned back around and ate my grill. Didn't stick though, it went under and crunchingly passed under my vehicle. I saw it take its last flop in my rear view.

Any number of squirrels, mostly in Jersey where there are plenty.

I almost hit an elk once. It jumped out of the forest just far enough in front of me to miss. Must have weighed 1000 lbs. It was like a horse.

Also almost hit a bald eagle once. Flew out of the forest just in front of me but pulled up in time.

	07-05-2005 01:30									#8
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Oh, and I killed a badger while on my motorcycle in Jersey. It jumped out in front of me and I ran over the back of its neck. No time to react...it was stone dead.

	07-05-2005 01:30									#9
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I've hit a ton of snakes and lizards... Driving north out of Reno in the summer = nasty

	07-05-2005 01:31									#10
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Where's Sloww? He'd tell us how to cook all this up!

	07-05-2005 01:33									#11
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quote: Originally posted by Lancer Also almost hit a bald eagle once. Flew out of the forest just in front of me but pulled up in time.

While traveling at high speed (120 kph or so) I had a seagull do a kamakaze run at my van. I fully expected the bird to pull up....but it didn't. Took the windshield out.

	07-05-2005 01:36									#12
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the advantage of living in a place that can't support any animal life is you never hit anything . I may have hit some snakes and lizards, but they are too small to notice.

jackrabbits can sometimes dart into the road. And just stare at you (I think those are the creatures taht can only see from the sides of the head and can't look straight at you). But I've never hit a jackrabbit.

	07-05-2005 01:42									#13
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quote: Originally posted by Lancer I almost hit an elk once. It jumped out of the forest just far enough in front of me to miss. Must have weighed 1000 lbs. It was like a horse.

I break for everything bigger than a great dane

I hit deer three months ago. It hit my front tire and slid down the side. It was about 2am and I was definitly awake after that. Now when I go to see my gf and I see deer crossing the road I stop and just let them pass. Thankfully I see most on a dirt road.

	07-05-2005 01:42									#14
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It's easy enough.

First, make sure none of the musk glands were popped, because if they were, you can walk away at that point.

After a cursory exam to see if anything is recoverable, slit the belly and remove the viscera, as that's just dead weight, unless you have dogs. This would be a good time to remove anything else you consider inedible, for the same reason. Toss it in the bushes for the local wildlife to enjoy.

Take it to a butcher who knows how to dress game.


You may want to check local and state regulations.

	07-05-2005 01:43									#15
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I wonder if animals use the road for suicide because sometimes they just seem to want to get hit.

	07-05-2005 01:43									#16
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It's legal to take road kill in Idaho... but I think it counts against your limit.

	07-05-2005 01:44									#17
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quote: Originally posted by The Mad Monk It's easy enough. First, make sure none of the musk glands were popped, because if they were, you can walk away at that point. After a cursory exam to see if anything is recoverable, slit the belly and remove the viscera, as that's just dead weight, unless you have dogs. This would be a good time to remove anything else you consider inedible, for the same reason. Toss it in the bushes for the local wildlife to enjoy. Take it to a butcher who knows how to dress game. You may want to check local and state regulations.

If its big enough to cause a dent and its edible, I'm going to get something out of it.

	07-05-2005 02:10									#18
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The annual venison dinner sponsored by the gun club my father belonged to in New Jersey used roadkill venison donated by the state's conservation agency.

	07-05-2005 02:30									#19
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here's where I admit I'm a city boy.

I have no idea how you would convert an animal into useful meat.

In fact the whole process seems pretty disgusting. Eating meat seems disgusting. Yet hamburgers and chicken sandwhiches taste so good...

	07-05-2005 03:58									#20
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Quail: The Avian Lemming.

We have aproximately 84 quintillion of them per square mile here in Reno. Yet, I've never seen a dead one despite their favorite game of playing Chicken with cars and trucks. Go figure.



Incidently, I was walking to the building my Thursday class is in and I noticed above me a magpie chasing after an owl. The owl flew right into the second story windows of the building I was going to. It hovered there for a moment before falling to the ground. It got up and was definitely dazed. The magpie landed nearby and kinda bothered it, hopping back and forth pecking at it. I didn't see the rest of the performance as I had to get to class but they were both long gone by the time I got out.

	07-05-2005 04:16									#21
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"I break for everything bigger than a great dane "

I definately did brake for that huge elk. It wasn't like a deer, it pranced like a horse. Hitting one at any speed is the end for your vehicle. I've even heard of them killing drivers with their hooves, though that might just be legend.

DRoseDARs, have you ever eaten quail? I've heard they are good, but small. You need a 'brace' of them, whatever that is.

	07-05-2005 04:32									#22
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No, I have not.

	07-05-2005 04:40									#23
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I may have had quail once, but if I did, it was not very memorable.

smoked pheasant, on the other hand, is quite good.

	07-05-2005 04:44									#24
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I went over a pigeon the other week in my car. It was defiant, it would not move, it thought I should drive somewhere else and it was staying put. It stayed put, embedded into tarmac

	07-05-2005 04:46									#25
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quote: Originally posted by Provost Harrison I went over a pigeon the other week in my car. It was defiant, it would not move, it thought I should drive somewhere else and it was staying put. It stayed put, embedded into tarmac

You were driving through an airport?

	07-05-2005 04:47									#26
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What?

	07-05-2005 04:49									#27
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Oh, I get it now. This is another one of those British versus USAmerican English things, isn't it?

	07-05-2005 04:49									#28
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Tarmac = pavement for runways and taxiways in airports

	07-05-2005 04:51									#29
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Can be, but it is also the material used to surface roads...

	07-05-2005 04:53									#30
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...otherwise known as asphalt.