10-05-2005 09:05									#31
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quote: Dang, Ash, did you crawl out from a rock or something? Repetition among friends makes a good joke better.

not when you've got social skills learned at the UoC

	10-05-2005 09:06									#32
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quote: It doesn't seem at all like Giancarlo, who is not liked at all, is more emotionally vulnerable, and who people like to tease and prod for cheap emotional bullying pleasure.

Now if that isn't a perfect description of Asher and our "relationship" with him, I don't know what is.

	10-05-2005 09:06									#33
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quote: Originally posted by JohnT quote: I was never bullied in school at all... Anybody who believes this, please raise your hand.

And if it were true, would that give us any reason to think less of Asher? You've admitted yourself that you were bullied before.

	10-05-2005 09:07									#34
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quote: Originally posted by Shi Huangdi And if it were true, would that give us any reason to think less of Asher? You've admitted yourself that you were bullied before.

I've been given **** for it outside of school lots -- holding hands with the SO in public, for instance.

	10-05-2005 09:07									#35
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quote: Originally posted by JohnT Anybody who believes this, please raise your hand.

In the past, Asher indicated that he refrained from being a jerk IRL. It's very likely he got by without being picked on more than any other average student.

	10-05-2005 09:08									#36
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quote: Originally posted by JohnT Now if that isn't a perfect description of Asher and our "relationship" with him, I don't know what is.

Then again, I don't come to Poly looking for acceptance like other people.

If I was, I'd air my dirty laundry about my daddy issues and about my kids like other people here do.

	10-05-2005 09:10									#37
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You can ask people like Zylka and November Adam (who is AWOL) how much of a jerk I am IRL.

Hell, I gave Zylka $200 out of my pocket for a plane ticket once. And taxied him around the city more than once.

	10-05-2005 09:11									#38
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quote: It doesn't seem at all like Giancarlo, who is not liked at all, is more emotionally vulnerable, and who people like to tease and prod for cheap emotional bullying pleasure.

I partly disagree with that. I like Giancarlo, and I think I'm not the only one. It's true that he's emotionally weak (at least, now that he's at peace with his sexuality, there's an area where he is emotionally normal), but that doesn't mean that he's hated.

	10-05-2005 09:12									#39
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I did? When?

I've discussed a couple of fights that I've been in (eg: "The Movie Moments of your lives" thread), but can't recall discussing bullying in any great detail. Not saying that I didn't, just that I don't recall it.

However, I was a poor target in the few times I was bullied as I did fight back.

	10-05-2005 09:12									#40
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quote: how much of a jerk I am IRL.

Then why are you such a jerk on the forum?

	10-05-2005 09:13									#41
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quote: Originally posted by Asher Then again, I don't come to Poly looking for acceptance like other people.

Funny, MalevolentLight used to say exactly the same thing

	10-05-2005 09:14									#42
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IIRC, you said before you were bullied frequently in school until you read some books on martial arts, beat up some of the people who were bullying you, and didn't recieve any bullying since then.

	10-05-2005 09:15									#43
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quote: Originally posted by mrmitchell Then why are you such a jerk on the forum?

Because there's less need for pleasantries and formality online.

It's a place where you say what's on your mind, for better or for worse. You learn a lot more this way, and there's less diplomacy involved.

I can only stand so much of it. In real life I need to be the most pleasant, helpful, sympathetic person on the phone with customers. I'm extremely generous/kind, and I'm known for it -- my BF told me "oh, you're so full of ****" last night when I was very enthusiastic about how good the food was at the restaraunt we were at, but it was terrible.

	10-05-2005 09:16									#44
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quote: Originally posted by Shi Huangdi IIRC, you said before you were bullied frequently in school until you read some books on martial arts, beat up some of the people who were bullying you, and didn't recieve any bullying since then.

WTF?

Are you confusing me with Pekka or something?

I got in a fight with one person, and it was a friend of mine at the time. He was telling everyone I was gay (we fooled around a lot and he finally figured out it meant he liked it too), and I suckerpunched him. He fell on the curb and chipped a tooth. That's the only fight I was in, and I don't consider that bullying.

	10-05-2005 09:18									#45
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quote: Originally posted by Asher WTF? Are you confusing me with Pekka or something? I got in a fight with one person, and it was a friend of mine at the time. He was telling everyone I was gay (we fooled around a lot and he finally figured out it meant he liked it too), and I suckerpunched him. He fell on the curb and chipped a tooth. That's the only fight I was in, and I don't consider that bullying.

I was talking to JohnT, not you.

	10-05-2005 09:18									#46
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So, you're a hypocrite in real life, and you make up for it online by being a jerk? It seems to me that you're the one who doesn't understand what social skills are.

	10-05-2005 09:19									#47
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quote: Originally posted by Shi Huangdi I was talking to JohnT, not you.

My mistake.

	10-05-2005 09:20									#48
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quote: It's a place where you say what's on your mind, for better or for worse. You learn a lot more this way, and there's less diplomacy involved.

It's too bad that what is on your mind is put-downs and personal insults. It seems, as what Spiffor suggests, that you are saying is that deep down you really are a jerk, it's just that online you don't supress it with formality and pleasantry like you do IRL.

	10-05-2005 09:22									#49
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quote: Originally posted by Spiffor So, you're a hypocrite in real life, and you make up for it online by being a jerk? It seems to me that you're the one who doesn't understand what social skills are.

How am I a hypocrite in real life? I don't think you're applying the term correctly.

I speak my mind online. Sometimes that makes me a jerk, but that's how it is.

I don't see how that plays into understanding what social skills are at all.

Talk to me IRL on a personal level or professional level and you will receive a different style of conversation and treatment. That's because I have the social skills.

Whether I choose to use the "diplomacy" aspect of it online or not doesn't taint my understanding of them.

	10-05-2005 09:23									#50
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quote: Originally posted by Shi Huangdi It's too bad that what is on your mind is put-downs and personal insults. It seems, as what Spiffor suggests, that you are saying is that deep down you really are a jerk, it's just that online you don't supress it with formality and pleasantry like you do IRL.

You make it sound like all I do is insult people.

I insult people I have a history with, because I really don't like them -- usually they cast the first stone. I hold a grudge.

JohnT is on my list, for instance.

	10-05-2005 09:24									#51
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quote: Originally posted by Shi Huangdi It's too bad that what is on your mind is put-downs and personal insults. It seems, as what Spiffor suggests, that you are saying is that deep down you really are a jerk, it's just that online you don't supress it with formality and pleasantry like you do IRL.

I don't think it's really that. To me, it seems more like Asher confuses pleasantries and hypocrisy. On the forum, he feels allowed to speak his mind, and he makes no effort to be pleasant while doing so, because he associates being pleasant with lying. In order to speak his mind, he seems to make an effort at being as much of a jerk as he can (thus putting down everybody who disagrees).

If he didn't have such a negative attitude toward pleasantries, maybe his posting style would be very different.

	10-05-2005 09:25									#52
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quote: Originally posted by Asher Then again, I don't come to Poly looking for acceptance like other people. If I was, I'd air my dirty laundry about my daddy issues and about my kids like other people here do.

You don't remember how you used to brag about your pops accomplishments and possessions as if they were your own? That was way back when you were Glonk, but it was still you. Two sides of the same coin and all that...

And what about this gem:

quote: For as long as I can remember, I've always had some intense anxiety in social situations or anticipation of social situations. I know it's normal to have it to some degree, but I think it went beyond shyness. For the past couple of years the major effects of this have been treated as a sideeffect from some other medication I was on, only I'm not on medication these days. So I don't get that benefit anymore. So now, I've essentially become anti-social once again to some extreme points. I don't, ever, want to call anyone on the phone. I haven't done this in a LONG time and I always get someone else to call if possible. I also instantly dread when the phone rings because I think someone might want to talk to me. At school I listen to music almost all the time when I'm not in a lecture so as to make me harder to approach to talk to. It's especially bad when I see someone I know that might try to strike up a conversation at a bus stop or something. I'll just avoid eye contact and hope that they don't come talk to me. And if they do come talk to me, I can't wait till it's overwith and it feels like punishment. When my friends ask me to go out and do something I'll always think up some excuse and not go anywhere. Even online in instant messaging, I'll almost NEVER message someone first. Almost always, they have to be the one to message me if we're going to talk. I always feel like I'm imposing or something if I message someone. After I'm messaged though, I'm usually okay. And on online forums too, I have no problems there...or with family in person either. ... So, how can I get back a normal life? I figure on the internet on a forum like this there'll be other people who have been through or are going through this too, so it doesn't hurt I guess...

You can't even ask for help without insulting everybody here!

And let's not forget this one:

quote: JohnT: Businessman and father extraordinaire, you're going to raise wonderful children.

Awwww. I didn't think you noticed. Oh, wait: You did.

	10-05-2005 09:27									#53
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quote: Originally posted by Shi Huangdi IIRC, you said before you were bullied frequently in school until you read some books on martial arts, beat up some of the people who were bullying you, and didn't recieve any bullying since then.

Naw, that wasn't me. Sorry.

	10-05-2005 09:27									#54
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quote: Originally posted by Asher Talk to me IRL on a personal level or professional level and you will receive a different style of conversation and treatment. That's because I have the social skills.

Social skills isn't about lying in order to be accepted (what you seemed to do at the restaurant). If you believe that pleasantries = compromising your ideals, then either you're an extremist in absolutely everything, or you haven't understood what a pleasantry is.

	10-05-2005 09:27									#55
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Wow, how petty can some people get

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	10-05-2005 09:28									#56
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quote: Originally posted by Spiffor I don't think it's really that. To me, it seems more like Asher confuses pleasantries and hypocrisy. On the forum, he feels allowed to speak his mind, and he makes no effort to be pleasant while doing so, because he associates being pleasant with lying. In order to speak his mind, he seems to make an effort at being as much of a jerk as he can (thus putting down everybody who disagrees). If he didn't have such a negative attitude toward pleasantries, maybe his posting style would be very different.

Pleasantries are smalltalk, smalltalk is all false to begin with.

"My, what a nice tie you have on. It really brings out your eyes"

	10-05-2005 09:30									#57
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Asher, I don't know if you realize it, but you just basically said "deep down inside I am an *******, in real life I fake being pleasant with people, but online since I can't get punched I reveal my inner self."

	10-05-2005 09:31									#58
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quote: Originally posted by Asher Pleasantries are smalltalk, smalltalk is all false to begin with. "My, what a nice tie you have on. It really brings out your eyes"

quote: Originally posted by Spiffor you haven't understood what a pleasantry is.

	10-05-2005 09:31									#59
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quote: In real life I need to be the most pleasant, helpful, sympathetic person on the phone with customers.

You work at a help desk?

I thought you were doing programming or something equally techie?

	10-05-2005 09:32									#60
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quote: Originally posted by JohnT You don't remember how you used to brag about your pops accomplishments and possessions as if they were your own? That was way back when you were Glonk, but it was still you. Two sides of the same coin and all that...

They are my own.

quote: You can't even ask for help without insulting everybody here!

That wasn't intended to be an insult. It should be a pretty obvious fact that online forums will have a high percentage of people with anxiety disorder, asperger's, etc.

I'm sorry that you can't see words past the surface.

quote: And let's not forget this one: quote: JohnT: Businessman and father extraordinaire, you're going to raise wonderful children. Awwww. I didn't think you noticed. Oh, wait: You did.

I don't get it -- what is your point...?

I say nice things about you, and you got upset? Or you are upset?