20-05-2005 12:37									#31
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Keep your money seporate from your husbands if he has a gambling problem. Hopefully he isn't addicted and he's just acting dumb but lots of people are addicted and lose everything because of it. They do have programs to help people over come the addiction.

	20-05-2005 12:43									#32
	Re: Re: Re: Loosing your shite Inflate your Upload Space

quote: Originally posted by Oerdin Alcohol is a depressant and it is never good to give a depressed person a depressant.

I think that depends on the person. Sometimes a drink hits the spot.

	20-05-2005 14:48									#33
	Re: Re: Re: Loosing your shite Full PM-box? Change here!

quote: Originally posted by Oerdin Alcohol is a depressant and it is never good to give a depressed person a depressant.

There was a slight tone of sarcasm in my post

	20-05-2005 16:42									#34
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Then she should drink a 2 liter bottle of coke.

	20-05-2005 17:07									#35
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I second what UR and Oerdin said about your husband and gambling. If he has a gambling problem, don't lease him any money from your father's inheritance anymore. Gambling is meant to suck your money and to make you addicted to it. Gambling is made to give you the illusion that you can recoup your losses if you continue to play, because you'll win the "big one" at one point.

It seems your husband believes that by "investing" money in gambling, he'll recoup his losses and he'll be able to pay back your debt. It won't happen. For alli intent and purposes, consider that money lost and don't lease a penny that your husband will waste in the slot machines.

	22-05-2005 01:04									#36
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Yes he is addicted well.....if by addicted you mean he goes every day and when he doesn't go he acts like a petulant 3 year old and thinks about it consistantly...then yes I would say he's addicted. He and two of his employees have found these game rooms all over town which working nights and driving affords them that opportunity. He has one guy that works with him that is the instigator. He's always calling him on the radio or phone...so we going to the game room tonight? I've really been thinking about finding him alone or going up to work when I know he's going to be there without Steve around and lowering the boom on him and telling him to quit asking Steve. However, Steve is a big boy and should be able to control his impulses. When the guy calls just say no thanks not tonight.

No I didn't loan him the money outright. Hubby isn't that stupid. We have the wonderful $500 overdraft protection on our bank account which also extends to our debit card of which he has one since he is the only one working right now (which was his choice btw) so what he does is go and pull money out of the ATM and just incure the freeeeeking $25 overdraft fee every time. So when the bank account was way overdrawn and the rent check was due to hit he knew I wouldn't let that happen so I put money in the bank to cover it and once that process began he ran with it. To the deplition tune of $2500.00

In the last 5 days I've paid $700 in overdraft charges and after not once but three times (gets paid weekly) the last three weeks each check gets direct deposited in the bank and instead of having his check in there to pay bills he was left with respectively $26 first week -$11 second week and $140 this week instead of over $750. You would think you would get it. I left him with $80 for the three days that I was to be gone so he could get gas food etc cause lets face it he's a guy and won't cook while I'm gone. I call the day I left when I got here and he already only had $40.00! How do you do that to yourself. I don't understand.

And the Hawaii suggestion.....actually my best friend called me up last year and said I'm coming to Austin to say goodbye. I say goodbye? Yup. Why? Well I've quite my corporate job in Dallas and we are moving to Hawaii. To which I screamed How? Why? and generally looked dumbfounded and he responded.......Why not? He's been there every since and never regreted it. Sounds like a good plan.

And yes some me time would be good.

	22-05-2005 01:13									#37
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I personnaly would not move to hawaii or honolulu mor specific. i was there for 3 months and found it rather depressing. Course i was there on work contract. But the homeless was very rampart and i found that a bit of a bother since most of those folks werent natives of the island but folks from the mainland that moved there searching for the big dream of living in hawaii.

	22-05-2005 01:25									#38
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Yeah -- it is kind of disheartening that poverty is aplenty in what first world citizens would call paradise.

	22-05-2005 01:34									#39
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you hit right on mr fun. I for one was excited to be going of all places hawaii. It was supposed to be paradise. However every day i was there i saw the folks sleeping bout sleeping at the bus stops and in the parks on my way to work. The beach outside the place i lived was littered with bodies that didnt have place to live. So i was alot disappointed. Tia hope all goes well with your health, and marriage seems sucky to have to deal with both at the same time. so soon after ur recent loss

	23-05-2005 03:11									#40
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Hawai or whatever, Tia, you definetly need to get away for some time on your own. And not that I want to get too personal or anything, but have you ever considered leaving your hubby? Or at least take a serious break and tell him to sort his **** out? It sounds like he´s walking all over you, the way it is now. And that´s not good.

Living with an addict only brings you tears. I know this for a fact...

	23-05-2005 03:41									#41
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Maybe you should firmly confront him with his habit and what it's doing to the family. Impress upon him his duties as a family man are as much the definition of his manhood as his freedom to take risks (in the gaming room). Perhaps you could help him sit down and figure out how much money he's lost gambling vs, how much he's won. Challenge him to commit to a period of time (3 months) gambling free.

	23-05-2005 03:45									#42
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this may not cheer you up, but at least you are not me. That would cheer me up at least.

Not that my life is overly complicated. Because I do feel like you when I'm stressed out. This is why I go to great lengths to keep my life simple. Even if that means missing out on some of the finer things in life.

	24-05-2005 02:53									#43
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Yes have strongly considered leaving. But as anyone who has ever dealt with an addict knows there really isn't any reasoning with them. I showed him the bank account and all the overdrafts. He actually got pissed and snapped his bank card into **whew** Funny sinces he's done that and has no access to the bank account we're not overdrawn anymore. wonder what that means?!?!! I shared that information with him last night and all I got was....so are you saying this is all my fault? Gee! Ya think!

We've even been in therapy and the therapist called him on the carpet and can you guess his response? He didn't go back the next week. Maybe I have left I'm not sure. I'm still at my parents. I was only supposed to be gone for three days I'm going on my fifth and not really sure when I'll go back. He's calling whining about being out of money. To bad so sad. I left you with $80 freeking dollars to make it through 3 possibly four days and by the second day you were just about out. You know what........not my problem!

	24-05-2005 02:59									#44
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You go, girl! He seems like he needs a really massive wake up call. You taking an indefinite break in the relationship might be it...

OTOH, maybe not. But then you know what to do I suppose...

	24-05-2005 03:02									#45
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quote: Originally posted by Dr Zoidberg You go, girl!

That would be two snaps back and around the world for me

	24-05-2005 03:12									#47
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quote: I shared that information with him last night and all I got was....so are you saying this is all my fault?

Did you answer "yes"? If not, you gave him a pass.