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OzzyKP is offline OzzyKP
King
Rockville, MD
Oct 1999
time: 00:16
  Old Post 29-06-2005 23:00 Visit OzzyKP's homepage!
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#1 Report this post to a moderator
MS Excel Is F*cking Stupid (or I am) Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

I'm looking through all the functions the program has. (I'm using excel 2003), and I can't find a simple f.cking program that divides. Am I totally missing something here or does excel honestly not have any proper dividing function?

I can't imagine they'd be stupid enough to put functions that do the inverse hyperbolic cosine, but can't do a simple division problem. But then again, it is Microsoft.

If someone can point me in the right direction, I'd appreciate it.
Lancer is offline Lancer
Emperor
Oregon Coast, USA! or Bohol, Philippines!
Apr 1999
time: 05:16
  Old Post 29-06-2005 23:02
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Verto is offline Verto
King

Mar 2002
time: 23:16
  Old Post 29-06-2005 23:02
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St Leo is offline St Leo
King of Scenario League
Member of the Apolyton Social Democratic Party
Jul 2005
time: 00:16
  Old Post 29-06-2005 23:02 Visit St Leo<br><img src=/forums/images/staff-icon.gif>'s homepage!
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It's an operator, not a function.

=4/5

=4./5.

=B3/2

=B3/D9
Sir Og is offline Sir Og
Chieftain
Lurking in Stara Zagora, Bulgaria
Jun 2001
time: 07:16
  Old Post 29-06-2005 23:03
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St. Leo beat me to it.
St Leo is offline St Leo
King of Scenario League
Member of the Apolyton Social Democratic Party
Jul 2005
time: 00:16
  Old Post 29-06-2005 23:06 Visit St Leo<br><img src=/forums/images/staff-icon.gif>'s homepage!
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BTW, addition is also an operator in case the sum() function was throwing you off.

=A9 + C15

Ditto for subtraction:

=G8 - A4

And multiplication:

=H5 * C9

There's also exponentiation:

=2 ^ A3
OzzyKP is offline OzzyKP
King
Rockville, MD
Oct 1999
time: 00:16
  Old Post 29-06-2005 23:07 Visit OzzyKP's homepage!
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Ah, nice. Thanks guys.

pchang is offline pchang
King
Cupertino?
Aug 1999
time: 05:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 00:04
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OzzyKP is F*cking Stupid
Whaleboy is offline Whaleboy
Prince
Please make all cheques payable to Whaleboy
Jan 2003
time: 05:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 00:16 Visit Whaleboy's homepage!
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Be fair to OzzyKP... Excel is a fantastic program in that it's so powerful... you can know 10% of its features and you can consider yourself an expert.

If you're used to =(SUM) and =(AVERAGE) it's probably quite easy to forget +-*/.
Richelieu is offline Richelieu
Warlord
Gatineau
Dec 2001
time: 00:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 00:21
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quote:
 Originally posted by OzzyKP
Ah, nice. Thanks guys.


You have to stop appearing on Fox, man. It's starting to affect you.
MichaeltheGreat is offline MichaeltheGreat
Apolyton Grand Executioner
mooning the house that Ruth built.
Oct 1999
time: 21:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 02:46
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quote:
 Originally posted by OzzyKP
Ah, nice. Thanks guys.


Answered your own question, I see.

OzzyKP is offline OzzyKP
King
Rockville, MD
Oct 1999
time: 00:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 03:18 Visit OzzyKP's homepage!
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#12 Report this post to a moderator
Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

*sigh*.......


Thanks Whaleboy.

reds4ever is offline reds4ever
Prince
of the Spion Kop
Mar 2001
time: 05:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 03:25
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quote:
 Originally posted by Whaleboy
Be fair to OzzyKP... Excel is a fantastic program in that it's so powerful... you can know 10% of its features and you can consider yourself an expert.

If you're used to =(SUM) and =(AVERAGE) it's probably quite easy to forget +-*/.


Yeah, right Whaleboy, sure it is.

I vote for the Ozzy is F*cking Stupid option
(and even that doesn't really do it justice)

Last edited by reds4ever on 30-06-2005 at 03:58
SpencerH is offline SpencerH
King
Co-Ruler of my patch of land south of Birmingham Alabama
Feb 2002
time: 23:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 03:29
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It kinda puts some of Ozzy's opinions into a new perspective

KrazyHorse is offline KrazyHorse
King
Macedonia
May 2001
time: 00:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 03:48 Visit KrazyHorse's homepage!
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^speaks truth

Imran Siddiqui is offline Imran Siddiqui
Deity
The Potterverse
Jan 1970
time: 00:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 03:58
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quote:
 Originally posted by pchang
OzzyKP is F*cking Stupid

Asher is offline Asher
King
Calgary, Alberta
Nov 1999
time: 22:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 04:00 Visit Asher's homepage!
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quote:
 Originally posted by reds4ever
Yeah, right Whaleboy, sure it is.

I vote for the Ozzy is F*cking Stupid option
(and even that doesn't really do it justice)

To be fair, computers are hard to get sometimes.

This one time, at computer camp, my BF was trying to do exponents in C++ by doing "5^8" and asked me why it wasn't working! Of course I smacked him around, told him obviously he had to use pow(5,8), insulted his mother, and ordered him into the kitchen to make me my dinner.
Pyrodrew is offline Pyrodrew
Prince

Dec 2000
time: 21:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 04:01
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Ozzy is just too young to be using MS Excel.
Provost Harrison is offline Provost Harrison
Emperor
The farce is strong with this one.
Feb 2000
time: 05:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 05:05
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To be classed an expert on Excel, you need to have mastered the art of VLOOKUP

Grandpa Troll is offline Grandpa Troll
Immortal
I owe..I owe..it's off to work I go
Jul 2000
time: 00:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 05:36
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quote:
 Originally posted by Pyrodrew
Ozzy is just too young to be using MS Excel.



Hate the Game

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Boris Godunov is offline Boris Godunov
King
Portland, OR
Aug 2001
time: 00:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 06:20
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This should have been a poll.
OzzyKP is offline OzzyKP
King
Rockville, MD
Oct 1999
time: 00:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 07:32 Visit OzzyKP's homepage!
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*sigh*......

I guess since this is officially a tease Ozzy thread, I might as well join in and alert you all to a hilarious (at least I think) job of splicing that one of my members threw together with some of the audio from one of my Fox News things:

Audio here: http://www.oneandfour.org/interview.mp3
SpencerH is offline SpencerH
King
Co-Ruler of my patch of land south of Birmingham Alabama
Feb 2002
time: 23:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 16:55
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Absolutely
Pekka is offline Pekka
Chieftain
em seu burro dos pais!
Feb 2002
time: 07:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 17:43
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HELP ME! I can't find adding function in my keyboard. I think it doesn't have it. What can I do? I must calculate. Also my mouse ran away and speakers got their mouths dry. Monitor hates me and reports my bad deeds to homeland security. What can I do?
Saras is offline Saras
King
Vilnius, Lithuania
Apr 1999
time: 06:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 18:31
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quote:
 Originally posted by pchang
OzzyKP is F*cking Stupid


qft
Saras is offline Saras
King
Vilnius, Lithuania
Apr 1999
time: 06:16
  Old Post 30-06-2005 18:33
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quote:
 Originally posted by Provost Harrison
To be classed an expert on Excel, you need to have mastered the art of VLOOKUP


You ar not a master of excel unless you know TEH ALMIGHTY HLOOKUP!!!1!!
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