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Guynemer
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Attracting crazy women!
For the past two months, I've been dating this girl. Smart, funny, sweet, beautiful, good cook, into science, etc. Things have been going great, really great. And the sex has been, in a word, spectacular.
Many of you know my theory on sex: the crazier the girl, the better the sex. This was the first relationship I'd ever had which bucked the trend. She was completely normal, but an absolute savage in the sack. I figured she was either the glorious exception that proved my rule, or that she had so compartmentalized herself that she was deeply, deeply insane, and it just hadn't revealed itself yet.
Chock one up for the latter.
She turns to me today and says she wants to break up, because basically she doesn't trust me. What it boils down to essentially is that between my (apparently alleged) 80hr/wk job and the resulting fatigue, she doesn't believe me when I say I can't do something with her. Like I'd have the energy or the brains to have a second woman on the side.
During the course of this discussion, she did an about face and said she wanted to work things out; I decided that this would undoubtedly continue to be a problem, and I simply couldn't deal with it.
If only my ex-fiancee hadn't broken things off over a year go. Sure, I'd be trapped in a loveless marriage (or, rather, one-way marriage), but Christ on a crutch, life would be a whole lot simpler.
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Guynemer
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Undoubtedly true, Rufus.
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Guynemer
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quote:
Originally posted by JohnT
And Urban has it all backwards - you make each other into "the One", you don't just find "the One." |
QFT
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shawnmmcc
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Guynemer - she has some self-esteem/self-confidence issues, i.e. baggage. We all have some. How much do you want to deal with it - how does it compare to the pluses. Since nobody is perfect, look at the issues, see if she will realistically discuss them (I strongly suspect that some of the other poster's analysis is correct) and then, if they are worth it/reconcilable - keep her.
If, on the other hand, she is one of these ladies who expects a fair bit of your time, i.e. high maintenance, when you are not going to have it for years, chalk it up to another experience and move on. Sadly, many of us minimize our needs, and she may have thought - he's this clever, sexy guy who is great in the sack, he's pretty considerate and he loooves cowbells  .
Seriously, though, she may have minimized the impact your schedule would have on you two as a couple, and over-estimated her ability to cope. If that's the case, then she should move on. Counseling can help to let you both see where the real conflicts are, you have to decide is she genuinely worth it. Don't lie to yourself - this kind of conflict out of the blue really bothers you, and not all women are that way. This may be her way of trying to bring up issues, and if you cannot stand that way of doing it - then don't.
Once other piece of advice. From my own past history, if you are looking for a permanent relationship (which is the impression I've gotten), and eventually kids, early on take her somewhere with kids. The Columbus Zoo, COSI, maybe the Newport Aquarium down in Cincinnatti (you can meet my little girl and check out how the lady is with kids at the same time  ). Watch her with them, and then ask yourself if we had a child, and I died, would I want her to raise that child? If the answer is no, for all her other good traits - move on.
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04-07-2005 01:50
Too bad, she was terrific in the sack.
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