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petersalia
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Here is an idea against shyness for shy men. I would like to know what you think of it.
To strain oneself/to make an effort
Shy people often think that they are not worth very much, that they can`t achieve anything in life. They have a low Self-worth, while most people have a rather high self-worth from birth.
To increase the self worth, one has to strain oneself in order to prove to oneself that one is actually worth something, able to achieve something. Trying to change this belief (that one is worth nothing) by positive thinking/trying to change one`s attitude doesn`t seem to work. It didn`t work for me in any case. What did work in my case was to strenghthen the muscles. This may sound strange, but if you have weak muscles and are of the intellectual kind, then it is definitely an effort to streghthen the muscles, while thinking just comes naturally, with no effort. Strengthening the muscles of the base of the body is the most important thing, especially if you have a hollow back/problems in the lumbar area, as I did. It is very hard to change a hollow back to normality, you have to tense the (this may sound silly) abdomen and buttock muscles a lot of time, for months and months. But you get a big reward: a lot more self –worth and less health risks. If your muscles are already strong enough, you have to look somewehre else in your life to see where an effort would be useful and necessary.
Strengthening the muscles is certainly not a cure for all, it only works if you have to make a conscious effort to do it. If you are bad in maths, getting better there would also be an effort. But the motive is also important. Shy men are often top students (I am one of those) but study a lot out of fear (the wrong motive), and they study too much instead of using their time in a more useful way.
Most women don`t want to be with men with low self worth, even if they are as nice as shy men are, because self worth is like the base of the character, without it you are litterally not worth much. So the motivation for shy men to raise their self-worth should be to be “worthful” enough to deserve the love/appreciation of women.
Here is a link if you want to read more details about this:
http://www.geocities.com/marksz98/shyness2.htm
What do you think of this idea?
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15-07-2005 01:37
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