16-07-2005 04:50									#1
	The Law of Unintended Consequences Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

So last week, there was a message from the apartment complex on my door. It said that they would be putting up screens on everyone's balconies and porches, since pidgeons and other birds had become a problem. Now, I had never had a problem with avian wildlife infiltrating my balcony, but on the other hand, I figured I could now leave my balcony door open and enjoy a nice breeze without inviting insects. So they come and install the screens, no big deal.

So I get home from work this morning, and I sleep until 3 PM, as is usual this month. (I HATE working nights.) And when I wake up, there are no less than three pidgeons on my balcony. How did they get there? I don't know. And clearly they don't know either, because they can't get back out, and are making an unholy noise (and mess). Naturally, the screens are nailed and screwed into the building frame, and I lent all my tools to some people at work. So my last resort is to cut a flap into the screen and pin it up with an extra nail I have lying around. Of course, the birds are completely ignoring this, and are content to perch on the fence that separates my balcony from my neighbor's, chirping and flapping and shitting all over the place.

Goddamnit.

	16-07-2005 05:08									#2
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

Shoot them.

	16-07-2005 05:56									#3
	Suffering from ads?

I even put some damned bread crumbs on the railing beyond the screen, and the dumb buggers are still sitting there.

My life is farce.

	16-07-2005 06:11									#4
	Increase the size of your Attachments

Don't give them any food, and they will eventually die...it sounds cruel, but from what I understand, they aren't eating the food you give them anyway, so what's the difference...

	16-07-2005 06:20									#5
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

Maybe I'm weird, but I'd rather not have three dead pidgeons on my balcony.

	16-07-2005 07:58									#6
	Full PM-box? Change here!

Yeah, you do. You just don't know it yet.

	16-07-2005 09:09									#7
	Full PM-box? Change here!

Dead pigeons are infinitely preferable to their living counterparts. I suggest a BB gun.

	16-07-2005 09:11									#8
	Suffering from ads?

Know anyone with a cat ?


- "Tweety, meet Sylvester. He wants to play."

	16-07-2005 09:17									#9
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

Put in the "No Pidgeons" hip hop CD and turn it up full blast.

	17-07-2005 07:30									#10
	Increase Your PM Length

French rap will do the trick I believe...

	17-07-2005 07:33									#11
	Suffering from ads?

quote: Originally posted by Dr Strangelove Know anyone with a cat ?

Frankly, I'd rather suffer the birds than have to deal with a cat.

I hate those things.

	17-07-2005 07:38									#12
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

Rice and water, in that sequence.

	17-07-2005 08:06									#13
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

quote: Originally posted by Smiley Rice and water, in that sequence.

	17-07-2005 13:33									#14
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

quote: Originally posted by Commy French rap will do the trick I believe...

	17-07-2005 15:00									#15
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Grab them one by one and push them through the hole.

	17-07-2005 15:44									#16
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

You know, Boris has been the only person to spell pigeon correctly so far.

There is no need for equipment - if you can get hold of them you can simply break their neck in your hands and pile them up. I understand you don't want three dead pigeons on your balcony Guy. Dispose of their lifeless corpses once finished...

	17-07-2005 16:24									#17
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

Let them into your apartment.

	17-07-2005 22:20									#18
	Increase Your PM Length

Invite two friends and eat the three pidgeons.