21-07-2005 23:06									#1
	Evil Telemarketers Get Eviler Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

http://www.oneandfour.org/archives/...telemarket.html


If getting annoying calls every day urging me to buy aluminum siding or informing me of a fabulous vacation package I may have one in the Bahamas isn't annoying enough, telemarketers have cooked up a new plot in their quest to destroy the minds and disrupt the lives of all innocent Americans.

Quite a crafty, formidable opponent to be sure.

These evil geniuses sat down in their secret headquarters, the Cavern of Evil, and brainstormed a way to increase the level of their annoyance for the American public. In recent years they have been losing ground to online spammers and terrorists. Wishing to recapture their number one-most-evil spot they've held onto for so many years (according to Gallup), and weakened by the Do Not Call List, that wonderful super-hero team operating from the Tower of Justice, they did some hard thinking.

They approached the problem methodically. Their jointly-held evil superpower involved the power to make unsolicited phone calls. What were the top ways phones annoy people? They brainstormed for hours. Telemarketers, incompetent tech help from India, calls from the in-laws, being put on hold for hours, annoying automated phone systems, etc.

Since of course they had the telemarketing thing down pat, they looked to the other options to enhance their evil machination. In-laws? Naw, that'd never work. Incompetent tech help from India? That'd only work if people actually needed the tech help. Otherwise they'd just hang up like usual. Ah-ha! (they exclaimed) putting people on hold for obscene amounts of time. The Cavern of Evil thundered with automated recordings of maniacal laughter.

This is all true.

So it was that the newest plot by the Alliance of Evil (Axis was taken) came into being.

I, as one of their newest hapless victims, have brought you this tale as a warning. For I have suffered their wrath and am none too happy about it. I shall tell my story.

For the last week or two I have gotten a telemarketer call (I assume from the Alliance of Evil - who else?) every single day. As far as I'm aware, the call isn't advertising anything. As soon as I pick up I am put on hold. Were I left to simply enjoy the pleasant classical music playing, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad, but as with any company you are put on hold with a recording of a woman comes on every 15 to 20 seconds to say "Please hold on the line for an important message. We will be with you shortly."

Usually I hang up once I realize what it is. But today I decided to stay on the line in hopes of finally finding out what this important message could be. I waited.

Then I waited some more.

Then finally, after being on hold for 10 full minutes (and precisely 10 minutes), they hung up.


What in the name of all that is holy is wrong with these mother ****ers?!?!

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.oneandfour.org/archives/...telemarket.html

	21-07-2005 23:07									#2
	Got spare money?

They always give these jobs to kids. Discrimination.

	21-07-2005 23:14									#3
	Suffering from ads?

I don't know why but I find the annoyance of telemarketers to be not too bad. We just call screen-- if we don't know who you are, we don't answer. The 2 seconds it takes to look at the phone is not a big deal.

Occasionally if I'm in an argumentative mood, I'll pick up, hoping they might be the persistent sort. But alas my " I do not respond to telephone solicitation of any kind" response has always caused an immediate retreat.

	21-07-2005 23:15									#4
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

I tell you what gets to me. Recently I had one of these phonecalls (I now have caller display so I can just ignore these phonecalls) and I picked up the phone. Usually they have a person on the other end trying to convince me that I want a conservatory on my 12th floor flat or that I want to change my gas supplier in an electric-only area. I don't want to know! But to actually get some automated answer machine to ring me up is really taking the piss...do they honestly expect me to listen to it without hanging up precisely as soon as the voice kicks in?

I am not going to tolerate person trying to fob some crap off on me, let alone a recorded message...get real

	21-07-2005 23:16									#5
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

...if it is an important call from a withheld number, there is a perfectly functional answerphone available to leave a message on...not one has taken this opportunity thus far...

	21-07-2005 23:17									#6
	Remove this text

At least they try to sell you something.

I got put on hold.

	21-07-2005 23:18									#7
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

quote: Originally posted by Flubber I don't know why but I find the annoyance of telemarketers to be not too bad. We just call screen-- if we don't know who you are, we don't answer. The 2 seconds it takes to look at the phone is not a big deal.

Thats what I do, the problem is I work shifts and if I forget to unplug the phone I get woken up at stupid o'clock in the morning by a guy trying to sell me a patio door.

	21-07-2005 23:19									#8
	Tired of ads?

Is "eviler" even a word?

Telemarketers

What we really need is some one willing enough to call people without anything to sell. Phone spam!

	21-07-2005 23:19									#9
	Tired of ads?

quote: Originally posted by Provost Harrison But to actually get some automated answer machine to ring me up is really taking the piss...do they honestly expect me to listen to it without hanging up precisely as soon as the voice kicks in? I am not going to tolerate person trying to fob some crap off on me, let alone a recorded message...get real

Agreed-- I actually am even peeved by their use of predictive dialers-- those are those computerized obscenities that can dial 50 or 100 people at once an connect whomever answers to one of their reps so the reps don't waste THEIR time listening to ringing or busy signals. There is usally a 1-2 second delay before the agent gets on the line. Even that is enough for me to hang up.

I did get a recording call me once and ask me to hold the line for an agent-- that call lasted nanoseconds

	21-07-2005 23:22									#10
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Why isn't there a device that detects those telemarketer devices and dumps them?

	21-07-2005 23:22									#11
	Put an end to popups!

quote: Originally posted by reds4ever Thats what I do, the problem is I work shifts and if I forget to unplug the phone I get woken up at stupid o'clock in the morning by a guy trying to sell me a patio door.

My wife could have the same problem when she works nights but they ALWAYS seem to call in the later afternoon or early evening here when she is awake anyway-- Our bedroom phone ringer is almost perpetually OFF anyway though because she doesn't want ANYONE waking her. . . .

	21-07-2005 23:26									#12
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

quote: Originally posted by Japher Why isn't there a device that detects those telemarketer devices and dumps them?

I don't know, maybe there is. I learned about them from my sister who works at a phone company. She said that in a big telemarketing centre they could pretty much have a customer on the line for the agent within a couple of seconds of the agent flagging himself as available. The computer knows average call length, caller response ratios etc and when the number of calls and agents get large, the machine can pretty much keep those agents hopping.

	21-07-2005 23:39									#13
	Inflate your Upload Space

I never answer the phone if I don't recognize the number who's calling.

	21-07-2005 23:40									#14
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

I do the same CI, I just cannot be arsed...

	21-07-2005 23:52									#15
	Inflate your Upload Space

Here that kind of sh!t is forbidden - only if you ask them to make a call, they are allowed to do it, but who in their right mind would do that ?

	21-07-2005 23:53									#16
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

I think it should be illegal too!

	22-07-2005 00:03									#17
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

Oh, forgot to say that newspapers are allowed to do it, but since they usually stick to once or twice a year, I don't care.

Sometimes I even bite - 3-6 months of newspapers for half price of another paper than the usual gives variation .

	22-07-2005 01:41									#18
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

I swear to God this is the truth.
I get an automated call, and I'm listening as it leaves the message, "Press 2 if you're not at home".
Whoever it is has called numerous times.

	22-07-2005 02:24									#19
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

quote: Originally posted by SlowwHand I swear to God this is the truth. I get an automated call, and I'm listening as it leaves the message, "Press 2 if you're not at home". Whoever it is has called numerous times.

So have you pressed two to see what happens??

	22-07-2005 02:29									#20
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

quote: Originally posted by Combat Ingrid I never answer the phone if I don't recognize the number who's calling.

I had another 'withheld' call this evening and I thought I'd pick it up just in case it was something important. Nope, someone trying to sell me a new f**king phone. NO! I'VE GOT ONE! As soon as the Indian accent kicked in, I realised I shouldn't have picked it up. Never again...

	22-07-2005 02:31									#21
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You can only blame yourself

	22-07-2005 02:36									#22
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

quote: Originally posted by Provost Harrison I had another 'withheld' call this evening and I thought I'd pick it up just in case it was something important. Nope, someone trying to sell me a new f**king phone. NO! I'VE GOT ONE! As soon as the Indian accent kicked in, I realised I shouldn't have picked it up. Never again...

PH what I do is be VERY selective about who you give your mobile # to, strictly friends and family only, then only answer the home phone if I recognize the number.

That way I know if its family or friends and it's important they can get hold of me.

	22-07-2005 02:38									#23
	Remove this text

Thing is I get media calls, and they always show up as unlisted too. So I can't ignore those calls, I have to answer them. They might be the most important calls I get.

...or they might be evil evil bastards.

	22-07-2005 02:38									#24
	Get a bigger avatar today!

Yep, people monitoring the software screwed up if you were left on hold for 10 minutes. They do try to tweak it down to a couple of seconds but the longer the period on hold is more profitable for them in terms of effeciency. The really good dialers will adjust fast enough but sometimes needs a human to overide since sometimes the trend changes to rapidly.

The worst thing is if you pick up, even if it disconnects, the software now knows you're home and will schedule a call back within a determined length of time. They try to have at least a couple of minutes pass so you don't connect the two calls. The norm is not to redial the call until an operator is available since there's a much higher probability that you will answer. (since you answered the first time)
Thanks to caller ID, more customers are starting to add 2+2


The 'hang on for an important message' is really tacky.


And yes there is a phone zapper that will drop most of these types of code. The usually sell for around 50 US dollars.

	22-07-2005 02:39									#25
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

I love telemarketers. They are the only people that call me...

	22-07-2005 02:52									#26
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

My favorite reply, when they nab me, is when they ask "How are you doing today, Mr. Shawnmmcc." I reply "I having an absolutely miserable day. What do you want." in my short, no nonsense Air Traffic voice. They almost always hang up.

	22-07-2005 18:34									#27
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https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx

It works!