22-07-2005 04:05									#1
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I have a bit of a dilemma. My good friend is coming to visit me tomorrow for few days. Basically I have to show him good time. Not a problem. But I know for a fact that he wants to go to places I don't. That, plus the fact that I'm not swimming in money right now and I'm trying to save up to get a sofa, impossible task almost it seems like. So a weekend would blow money.. I know he wants to go to plastic teenage bars to listen to latest shitty euro trash pop and feel ecletic and then ****ing argue that it's fun for me too. It's something I liked when I was 16-18. Now I freaking hate those kinds of places. But I know he insists going to exactly those places and it's like a debate if I say let's rather go somewhere else. It's like.. 'that's best, period.' 'I don't.. I won't enjoy myself there listen man let's go somewhere we both enjoy' 'no this is best'. You know.. it's useless to argue. It's one of those anti-intellectual debates that actually makes me angry when it goes on long enough.

So I want to have good time, but I have these pressures I won't have good time at all, it'll blow my savings in a way I only feel frustrated and anxious anyway and stupid, and yet if I don't do that, it'll be me being a partypooper stupid guy. Yeah and I know he goes as far as offering to give me a loan. So I can afford it. It'snot a rgument 'well it's expensive and I don't even enjoy it that much'. Then he offers me money and say this is where we go. It's not like I can take the money, because then I have to pay it back soon. SO no I don't feel great about spending 50 euros a night when I can save up to 150 euros a month IF I live like a monk. It just.. sucks.

But he's a good friend, so I don't want to get into arguments about that, only because it's frustrating the hell out of me. Someone trying to argue why the teenage bar is the best, and why I WILL enjoy it when I almost start having heart attacks from frustration even going past one.

And he is maybe my best friend so.. I just have the pressure from this already. And I can't have fun when I'm pressured so.. and it's not that .. I just don't like goign into places that has the average age limit of 18. I'm serious. I hate those freaking places, in here especially. You want to see how the punks in here have fun? I'd rather have a knife fight. I just.. it just ruins my whole day most likely. And he wants to go 100% guaranteed. In fact he wants to go to ALL of them. And I'll know it'll be difficult for me to enjoy the day even because it'll be all planning for that crap the whole day.. he's excited, I'm not. Because I know we w on't go to places I like. Or if we go, he'll be disappointed. And he is the guest so.. I won't.. but.. ****. Suggestions?

Oh and by the way, debating with him is impossible. His legit arguments consists of 'yes!' 'No!' 'The tracks I like are bes tin the world, it's a fact because.. you don't like it?`Well you're wrong you DO like it'. Not if it's bad track, but that YOU like it in fact you just don't know it.

WTF?! And he's serious as cancer too, and never gives up. It's frustrating so I just like give up and try something else all together.

	22-07-2005 04:13									#2
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He's staying with you? He's a good friend? He wants to go? Let him pay. Not loan, pay. He's already getting a deal with a place to stay.
End of discussion.

	22-07-2005 04:14									#3
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Apply a blunt object to the back of his head. Problem solved

	22-07-2005 04:14									#4
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I suggest you don't beat anyone up. I dreamt you got in jail for doing that last night.

	22-07-2005 04:18									#5
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Do you often dream about Pekka?

	22-07-2005 04:19									#6
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It's perfectly normal to dream about Pekka. Isn't it?

	22-07-2005 04:23									#8
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So, do you?

	22-07-2005 04:24									#9
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I bet he does, the man lover he is.

Sloww, yeah I know.. I've been thinking about that.. but I know how it goes.. he's ok with it and gives me like 10 euros. What I'm supposed to do with that anyway? It'll get me in and pay for my coat to be hung and MAYBE if cheap, one sorry beer. And then I'll hate it the whole night anyway . I'm ready to sacrifice yeah.. but we'll see.

ALSO I know it'll be both nights too he wants to do exactly that. I'm totally not up to it. I want to go out and have fun but not just the type he feels. He's the type of person you'd go to sauna with, have few beers or not, and then suddenly he wants to go to one of them places even underaged get in and it'll be all macho BS from guys and crying suicidial teenage girls trying to get attention.. and worse. he's actually done it several times, he gets a freaking taxi and pays 30 euros just for the taxi to get in the most crappiest places in town ever. And he'll go alone too if he has to. But before that he argues with everyone how we are all supposed to go, and none of us usually even want to go to them anymore. He's the type of guy who would just go to hang around one if that was all he can do. Just irritating. But a very good friend so I just watch through that little defect.. But yeah I have to solve the problem soon.

	22-07-2005 04:25									#10
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Pekka - just be upfront with him. Tell him you simply cannot afford to go out and all of that. He's welcome to do so but without your company.

If he doesn't respect this, well perhaps you should reconsider your friendship.

	22-07-2005 04:32									#11
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barinuths, that was exactly the type of answer I almost covered in the OP but then decided not to.

Reconsider the friendship? what ever.. hmm.. you guys must break up with your best friends often for petty crap? No thanks, not for me.

But.. you're right I have to be upfront, then again I always am. Like I said, no debating is good, I mean if you say you don't have en ough money to go balls out to every bar in the city for the whole weekend but you can go out but just with in reason, hey I'm young lad it's not like I wouldo suggest to go get one beer and then home to sleep. That's not it.. but when it's a fact, the money situation, and it's a fact that I strongly feel disgusted getting into those places, genuinely not being able to enjoy myself, it still is not good enough, because BUT YOU DO ENJOY and YOU HAVE ENOUGH MONEY or I CAN GIVE YOU SOME MONEY. And that money thing, I know how he thinks because he's not the sharpest knife in the kitchen when it comes to camoflaguing his intentions with his friends, because he is predictable. He's like an old dog doing the same bad deed thinking it can now do it perfectly but nothing changes.

He thinks if he gives me the minimum money, pocket change, I'll change my mind once we're in and I get little drunk from half a beer. And then I spend all the moeny I have and we have a great time and he doesn't have to get me anything anymore. But that's not how it's going to go. Somehow he is convinced this is how it goes though. It hasn't gone like that for some years now so I doubt there will be a sudden change in me 'OHH I LOVE PUKING TEENS AND THEIR PUNK BOYFRIENDS WHO THINK THEY NEED TO KICK MY BEHIND BUT END UP HAVING THEIR ARMS WHERE THEIR LEGS USED TO BE'. Actually I wouldn't mind arranging few joints but I just don't feel like going into those teen hellholes. I'm 25 damn it and I don't FEEL LIKE IT!

	22-07-2005 04:36									#12
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:shrug: it's your life

For me respect is very important. I do not consider this "petty crap." Basically based on what I understood, if I was in your shoes, he'd be dragging me all over the town to places I do not want to go and causing me to spend money I do not want to.

If I said no, I meant it, and I expect my feelings to be respected. People love having me as their guest - why? I'm very independent person and am capable of going off on my own without needing someone to guide or whatever. That way if my host am not up to it or whatever, that's cool, he or she can stay home or do whatever he or she wants while I do my own thing.

	22-07-2005 04:39									#13
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Well good for you.

With me and my friends, we can do all that we feel like, but nothing means disrespect. Stealing from one another would be disrespect, but nothing said in words or other stuff. Besides, disrespect is acceptable from the best of my friends for me if that should ever happen. We have stronger bound than some words or little acts. At the end of the day, week, month, year and decade, we're still tight bunch, and that's the way it is.

	22-07-2005 04:55									#14
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quote: Originally posted by Ben Kenobi Do you often dream about Pekka?

No. I think this was the first time.


You, OTOH ...

	22-07-2005 04:56									#15
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the first time is always the best.. but the other ones are at least spectacular also.

	22-07-2005 05:49									#16
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quote: Originally posted by Pekka Well good for you. With me and my friends, we can do all that we feel like, but nothing means disrespect. Stealing from one another would be disrespect, but nothing said in words or other stuff. Besides, disrespect is acceptable from the best of my friends for me if that should ever happen. We have stronger bound than some words or little acts. At the end of the day, week, month, year and decade, we're still tight bunch, and that's the way it is.

Nod, to everyone their own.

	22-07-2005 06:16									#17
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Maybe he will get the hint your not swimming in cash when he goes to ur apartment and sees that ur a little short on the furniture department.

	22-07-2005 07:24									#18
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move to Cincinnati

	22-07-2005 07:27									#19
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Being with someone that doesn't have the money to go around sucks and can ruin friendships. Try to make him understand that you don't have much money to spend and he will adapt.

	22-07-2005 09:11									#20
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Don't you know any sluts?

This is a simple case of
1) Give in and go to the bar
2) Introduce him to waiting slut, 5 minutes after you get there
3) Don't worry about seeing him again until teh end of the trip, when he calls to apologize for not spending more time with you

	22-07-2005 09:12									#21
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To Pekka: sluts=women