27-08-2005 13:08									#1
	So I found out my friends are doing drugs Suffering from ads?

I'm not talking about marijuana. Even though I'm a liberal and all that bullsh**, I don't really consider it a real drug. It's grown and not manufactured...AND it's illegal. So you can't say "oh well BEER is manufactured."

I found out that my friends bought some coke (as in cocaine) yesterday and did it. They still have some, but weren't going to use it tonight. my one friend flipped over his fiancee's car drunk (and without a license) and my other friend I guess is just as bad. My friend whose engaged is supposed to be getting his sh** together, and here he goes and does this.

AND this is the same guy who was bashing on another one of my friends for doing meth (as in crystal methamphetamine).

Anyway, so I'm cruising at my friends house, my other friend says he's going to pick up his girl, when I ask..."You guys really didn't do this, right?" He said, "Yeah, we were drunk as heck. And it was a 'hey, you wanna try this?' 'ok, lets do it' kind of deal."

Right there I said, I'm sorry...but I'm pretty disgusted with the two of you right now. My friend who stayed said, hey don't knock it until you try it.

Sorry, all liberalism aside, I'm no damned hippie. All this Peace, Love, Happiness bullcrap is just that, BS. I'll knock it. I've had family members waste away on that sh**...(but I didn't tell him this).

I just told him, "I'm sorry, I have to go home. I'm really disgusted with you. I'll talk to you later."

My other friend called me and asked why I left. After I told him what I heard he said that they weren't going to do it tonight.

I said: "I'm sorry, but I'm really disgusted with the both of you right now. I don't want to see either of you for a while. Bye."


Ok, why am I posting here instead of my blogs? Because my friends read my blogs. And all kidding aside and the jabs I take, I think the people at Poly are smart as well as worldly. There's people here that do drugs, drink, etc etc. (thats why I asked my ASVAB question). And yes, I gotta give respect for the peeps here regardless if I agree with them or not.

I really want to blog about this but have decided not to just to save my friends "face", so to speak.


AND THIS IS ANOTHER REASON WHY I HAVE TO LEAVE!

I'm so disgusted right now.

	27-08-2005 13:17									#2
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Bro man I know how you feel. Even though these guys around here like to brand me as a Commie and leftist, etc., one area I have a problem with is drugs and even booze. I never touch either one and have moral problems with them both.

I've seen alot of friends and family get into something like that and it just destroys them, worse, takes down innocent people around them.

But, moral considerations aside, it sounds like you and your friends are starting to have a difference in lifestyles that just aren't meshing. I'd say you're about 23-25? This is the point where guys have to stop screwing around and decide what kind of life they want to make for themselves. They are no longer kids but turning into adults and have to forge their own living.

It sounds like your friends are going down one path, and you don't like where they are going. Even the drugs aside, I bet their lifestyle choices don't really jive with yours.

So when can you leave?

	27-08-2005 13:40									#3
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quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker Bro man I know how you feel. Even though these guys around here like to brand me as a Commie and leftist, etc., one area I have a problem with is drugs and even booze. I never touch either one and have moral problems with them both. I've seen alot of friends and family get into something like that and it just destroys them, worse, takes down innocent people around them. But, moral considerations aside, it sounds like you and your friends are starting to have a difference in lifestyles that just aren't meshing. I'd say you're about 23-25? This is the point where guys have to stop screwing around and decide what kind of life they want to make for themselves. They are no longer kids but turning into adults and have to forge their own living. It sounds like your friends are going down one path, and you don't like where they are going. Even the drugs aside, I bet their lifestyle choices don't really jive with yours. So when can you leave?

Once again, Ted Striker speaks the truth.

Yeah, we're 24 turning 25. I'm 25. And what you said about stop screwing around and making a life out of ourselves? Totally, that's what I'm trying to do. I don't and CAN'T see myself doing the same old sh*t anymore. They still wanna go to this one bar cause of the hot girls and getting into all that drama.

I told 'em I can't do that. I try to stay away from that bar cause bad vibes and circumstances happen at that place.

quote: It sounds like your friends are going down one path, and you don't like where they are going. Even the drugs aside, I bet their lifestyle choices don't really jive with yours.

Totally. I'm done with that BS. I've had enough of my own drama, even though it might not be as messed up as them, but I've had enough to know that I don't want it anymore.

That lifestyle for me is pretty much done. Hopefully I can leave by the end of September or mid October. Tonight pretty much opened my eyes. I don't care if it's just to try and experiment. I think we're older now and more life-experienced to be smarter than that.

I think this is the straw that broke the camels back, to be honest.

	27-08-2005 13:47									#4
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As much as tonight sucks, I think that it's a good thing for you in the long run. You know where you're headed and this episode just reinforced what you already know.

You will be forging a new life, and build accomplishments and meaningful relationships, meanwhile your boys will spend the next 5 years trying to get on the tv show Elimidate or some other bar-lifestyle related nonsense.

You'll be okay dogg, you got a good head on your shoulders.

	27-08-2005 14:02									#5
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my best friend as a kid got into drugs. I really didn't know what to do. I feel like a crappy friend because he really got heavy into the drug lifestyle. Kind of a white trash lifestyle. I really didn't do anything to stop him. I'm not sure what I could have done.

But even though he was my best friend, we really didn't have that much in common. We both like star trek and D&D, and heavy metal music. But that's about it.

What I really feel guilty about is I haven't contacted him in so long. I just don't want to be in that kind of lifestyle. I'm the type of person who cannot resist peer pressure. Though I guess I could have done so on the hard drugs. But I did smoke pot with him several times. But I don't even want to do that. Marijuana sucks. But it's so hard to refuse when a joint is being passed around.

	27-08-2005 14:03									#6
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quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker As much as tonight sucks, I think that it's a good thing for you in the long run. You know where you're headed and this episode just reinforced what you already know. You will be forging a new life, and build accomplishments and meaningful relationships, meanwhile your boys will spend the next 5 years trying to get on the tv show Elimidate or some other bar-lifestyle related nonsense. You'll be okay dogg, you got a good head on your shoulders.

Thanks, man. But here's the thing, what if tonight was just one of those freak a** things that just happened, and they go about doing whatever they were doing?

I mean, is cutting them off for now more harsh than what they deserve? Its not like they are total cokeheads, but I don't want to be around them. If this was one of those one-time deals that would be one thing, but my friend (who picked up his girl) likes to do various drugs but likes to play the nicey nice boy.

Me? I can see through that farce. Anyway, my thing is whether or not cutting them off totally for now is too harsh? I don't plan on talking to them, nor returning their phone calls for a LOOOONG time...maybe until it's time to leave kind of deal.

	27-08-2005 14:06									#7
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quote: Originally posted by Frankychan Thanks, man. But here's the thing, what if tonight was just one of those freak a** things that just happened, and they go about doing whatever they were doing? I mean, is cutting them off for now more harsh than what they deserve? Its not like they are total cokeheads, but I don't want to be around them. If this was one of those one-time deals that would be one thing, but my friend (who picked up his girl) likes to do various drugs but likes to play the nicey nice boy. Me? I can see through that farce. Anyway, my thing is whether or not cutting them off totally for now is too harsh? I don't plan on talking to them, nor returning their phone calls for a LOOOONG time...maybe until it's time to leave kind of deal.

you don't have to cut them off. Just hang out with them in public places or whatever. Don't hang out with them in their homes when they are doing drugs. That isn't fun. Watching other people do drugs, while you just sit there sucks. I've done that too many times. Get away from that for sure.

	27-08-2005 14:09									#8
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You know best, but it sounds like alot of things have been creeping up for a long time.

Maybe give yourself some time to cool off and then think about your future with your friends.

If you're gone in September anyway, you won't have to make that decision and then things just take their natural course, since you would be parting ways anyway. Maybe you can think about how you want to leave those guys, since you're leaving anyway, and leave it at that.

Sometimes it's best to leave them on a good note.

	27-08-2005 14:12									#9
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Depends on the person. Some people are idiots, coke or no coke. Some people become idiots after they start doing it, with ego problems. Some don't become anything new but be themselves. I'd say problem is if they are stupid to begin with, so .. drugs, especially hard drugs are like catalysts.. idiot people become super idiot in the long run. Smart individuals usually have no problems and stay recreational users. I have some friends, most of them smoke mary jane these days, but most of them also did recreational drugs back in the days, none of them do today. None of them regret it. But then again, they aren't losers.

So, it depends. Of course there is the fortune factor, some people might get sick, do wrong amount, stuff like that, and well.. die.

Get involved with the wrong kind of people, which might be the most dangerous thing in the whole combination. This will give everyone bad fortune.

Just on a note that someone tries coke, or does coke every now and then AND other than that is just cool.. so what. What do I care. Their business. BUT if they become jerks as a result..... then that's different.

BUT first warning sign that makes me eyes hurt is that he says they did it drunk and it was.. woot. I mean. If you have a person who gets drunk and goes to buy coke and does it while drunk, well you have a classic case of someone who does stupid **** while they are high/drunk/etc. And that's the type of person that.. will screw up.

	27-08-2005 14:17									#10
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I was actually in the same situation as Franky at age 24. In my case the friend was getting out of control, violent, suicidal, and crazy. It was a black hole I was getting sucked into.

My life was going one way and my friend's was going the other. It was time for me to move on.

I got tired of the lying and especially the manipulation.

	27-08-2005 14:21									#11
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I recently found out that somebody very close to me was doing cocaine and crack, and had gotten into dealing them to support their habit (every day for more than 6 months).

That made me sad. He's wasting his life, and he's a really smart guy. The best writer I've ever known personally.

	27-08-2005 14:24									#12
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KH, .. that is sad.. maybe he finds something, like religion or something, or falls in love. I guess those are the two things that can save a person from weird situations like that and completely turn them around.

	27-08-2005 14:25									#13
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Well guys, you're all right.

I guess I just need some time to cool off and get my head straightened up. The thing is that after I found out I really couldn't look at them. Crap, I felt sick...which was pretty unique...it's like total disgust with someone that you want to hurl. I don't know if I can hang around them in public for a while.

But yeah, if I'm leaving anyway, I think one last hurrah would be ok.

And Pekka is right, my one friend is notorious for getting blasted drunk and doing stupid stuff. I mean I've done some messed up stuff while I'm drunk, but not things of this magnitude.

	27-08-2005 14:26									#14
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He's living in a **** apartment with another drug addict doing telemarketing from home, making barely enough to live on.

It's not a life for somebody with talent.

	27-08-2005 14:27									#15
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That is sad Krazyhorse

About what Pekka said, I think if Franky is leaving, maybe he can leave his friends on a good note, that way if they turn themselves around, he hasn't completely cut ties with them.

But since he's leaving anyway, he will naturally be distant from them while they are going through all this drama.

	27-08-2005 14:29									#16
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quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker I was actually in the same situation as Franky at age 24. In my case the friend was getting out of control, violent, suicidal, and crazy. It was a black hole I was getting sucked into. My life was going one way and my friend's was going the other. It was time for me to move on. I got tired of the lying and especially the manipulation.

Well at least you kinda know where I'm coming from. My friends arent violent, or suicidal, but I feel that they are getting out of control and a little crazy.

I think it's cause most of them are still going to college and are in the 'college experimental phase'. I'm out, and I think "Man, we're all 25 or going to be and I can't be doing stuff that I was doing at 19-21-23 NOW". Time to get my act together.

Worse part is that one of my friends is supposed to get married.

	27-08-2005 14:32									#17
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There's nothing wrong with drinking, or theoretically with any drug, really.

The problem is that drugs are addictive, and can sometimes cause you to do crazy things.

If you're wasting your life trying to get high then that's ****ed up. If you get violent when you're high then that's ****ed up. If you can't find a meaningful job or a relationship because you're high so much then that's ****ed up. I can't stand to watch people do that to themselves.

	27-08-2005 14:32									#18
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RIght, right, I'd agree with that.. if he is leaving anyway, why not on good note?? I see no reason why it should be all negative and stuff.

As for other stuff.. I'd wait until someone screws up. Before that.. why bother judging. If you can't stop it really, I'd just let it slide, but when the screw ups starts to come into the picture, then it's a matter of evaluating the relationship again.

Also, some people won't screw up. That's why I said this all. LIke my some of my buddies, some of them used to party taking extacy, amphetamine etc. But did they ever do it outside from those occasions? No. And now none of them does that stuff at all, not for years. Well OK they do smoke but I guess that doesn't count. And I was their friend all through the time, never had a bad experience. Not a single one.

Thus I say.. wait and see if something happens.

	27-08-2005 18:55									#19
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quote: Originally posted by Frankychan Well guys, you're all right. I guess I just need some time to cool off and get my head straightened up. The thing is that after I found out I really couldn't look at them. Crap, I felt sick...which was pretty unique...it's like total disgust with someone that you want to hurl. I don't know if I can hang around them in public for a while.

I know exactly how you feel. And I know your situation all too well. Most of my friends from high school were druggies. One ODed like 2-3 years back, one has been in and out of prison for the last 5 years, and one is just dumb as a brick, has health issues and just sits around the house collecting disability and doing pot and watching NASCAR - oh and he's got 2 kids with two different mothers, and isn't dating either. He is a total redneck.

They've all done coke, and meth, and many other things. The one in prison may have even done heroine.

I wish I could advise you with what I did, but I don't have any real good advice. I tried all through high school to help. Bailing my one friend out of jail, setting a good example, telling them how drugs were just gonna **** up their lives (wonder who won that bet?), etc. But they just wouldn't talk to me about drugs anymore, or would lie to me. Except my dumb friend, he just talks about weed all the time.

I never really cut off any of them, well the two still alive I guess. The dumb one I still stay in touch with and he came to visit me here in DC a few months back. (****er owes me a bunch of money now though... *sigh*).

I dunno. Maybe cutting them off really is the way to go. Maybe I'd be better off if I had done that long ago. I'm just a very forgiving person. I don't make friends easily, so when I do make them I tend to hold onto them forever. I've known these guys since like 1st or 2nd grade, so its real hard for me to just tell them to get lost.

I've given up thinking I can help them though. I don't think they are ever going to get their lives straight. Thankfully I now live 10 hours away here in Maryland, so I don't have to deal with them anymore than like once or twice a year when I go back to Michigan. If you're leaving too then I guess that'll work as well. You don't have to cut yourself off, just distance yourself a bit. Make new friends who have similar life priorities.

But yea, I get strong emotional reactions thinking about drugs. Not really with my friends anymore, they are all hopeless losers and I've given up caring, but if I date a girl and find out she's smoked pot, even if a while ago, it really makes me naucious.

I'm with Ted. No alcohol and no drugs for me. I've seen the damage they cause, I want no part of them.

	27-08-2005 18:57									#20
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get some new friends

	27-08-2005 23:07									#21
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I think you may have been too harsh, Franky. Of course, I don't know your situation, and these friends of yours have always been screwed up and stuff like that... But if this is the first time they did something really stupid, I say they deserve a second chance. We are all humans and we all mistakes. Some of us have managed to avoid big mistakes so far, but not everybody is so lucky.

You have your head screwed on straight, and perhaps this is the time when they need you most, to pull them back out.

Again, as I said, I don't know the situation at all. It is your call, and only you can make an informed decision.

	27-08-2005 23:19									#22
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Yeah, just my opinion but I think you've been a little harsh as well (though obviously that's your call to make).

The fact that they've taken cocaine doesn't suddenly make them different people.

I was teetotal until I was 17, long after a lot of my friends had started drinking and I really looked down on them for it. It creeped me out because they were taking a substance that affected their mental state and I didn't understand it - it's a natural reaction, but not necessarilly a right one.

I'm not saying cocaine improves anyone's life (though I've never taken it myself) but it doesn't mean it will destroy them either.

Don't rush into doing anything. If they're truly your friends and you respect them then by all means give them your advice - but you have to respect the choices they make as well.

	27-08-2005 23:23									#23
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yeah cocaine isn't so bad

look what it did for george w bush

	27-08-2005 23:39									#24
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my rule of life is i never go further than weed and hasj...i always tell my friends that also because one old friend is in rehab right now...there is no real reason to take the change with coke, meth, XTC, etc etc. but i never dropped him...i always tried to help him...how to help? i have no idea...just try to talk to him...get him away from those bad influences...and never give him money...take them out for diner ok...but never cash...to risky...but it doesnt always help as he is now in rehab....but i have some younger friends (17, 18) that i can tell not to do anything stronger then hasj or weed...and well they all right now are still listening....it all depends on the person in question i think

	27-08-2005 23:51									#25
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quote: Originally posted by DeathByTheSword my rule of life is i never go further than weed and hasj...

wise

I assume you mean hash...

never tried hasj

does it **** you up?

	27-08-2005 23:55									#26
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Cocaine is fine as long as it's not cut with any **** - the point is not to get sucked into it...

Friends of mine got sucked into the Coke and E lifestyle and it became an expensive habit for them because the buzz was so good - but they were finally able to break the cycle as they were mature enough to realise what it was doing to them.

Sounds to me that they're just being reckless ****ers in general, so they're gonna act like ****ers no matter what and have to get that immaturity out of their system...

doesn't mean you have to be around to have them drag you down with them.

Everything in moderation I say - including Coke...

	28-08-2005 00:18									#27
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I've got no problem with people who do drugs, as long as they aren't addicts. I've got no problem with people who don't do drugs, as long as they aren't jerks about it. I'm pretty live and let live, as long as you don't screw me over.

	28-08-2005 00:55									#28
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quote: Originally posted by red_jon Yeah, just my opinion but I think you've been a little harsh as well (though obviously that's your call to make). The fact that they've taken cocaine doesn't suddenly make them different people. I was teetotal until I was 17, long after a lot of my friends had started drinking and I really looked down on them for it. It creeped me out because they were taking a substance that affected their mental state and I didn't understand it - it's a natural reaction, but not necessarilly a right one. I'm not saying cocaine improves anyone's life (though I've never taken it myself) but it doesn't mean it will destroy them either. Don't rush into doing anything. If they're truly your friends and you respect them then by all means give them your advice - but you have to respect the choices they make as well.

that doesn't matter. It's annoying sitting in a room full of people doing drugs. That's why I don't hang out with my friend from high school. I refuse to do it.

	28-08-2005 03:11									#29
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Huh...well....Hmmm.

I guess I should just think about this. Ozzy and U.R.-you guys sound like to just try and get their heads on straight. I think I need a break from them and like youse guys said, put a little distance between us.

Seriously, when I heard what they did, I felt like gagging. I don't know about them not becoming addicts or anything, I HOPE that they don't get hooked on it. But a few of my friends have been in and out of school (college) and doing drugs constantly. I look and see where they are and it's like they got no ambition (some of my friends) and just want to do drugs, go to bars and get hammered, and be content with that.

Yeah, I think this move will definitely get my head on straight.

I think I'll wait a couple of days to cool off some more and have a very light and brief talk with them about trivial crap. I think it's going to take some time for me to get over this bullcrap.

	28-08-2005 03:34									#30
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Yea, that all makes sense.