03-07-2001 03:09									#1
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As always, comments are welcomed and appreciated!

-=Vel=-

	03-07-2001 10:11									#2
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Great story so far. I find myself hoping that the good chairman will come to his senses and show Ashaandi the true meaning of pain. I guess I'll just have to read on.

I suppose this should be taken as separate from the SC universe.

	03-07-2001 18:48									#3
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It says a lot for the story that the only thing I can find to pick at is a tiny grammatical error...

If someone finishes speaking but you want to put more on later, use a comma and no capital letter on the denotative. E.g.:

"This could be tricky," he said. "There's a lot of them out there."

	03-07-2001 18:57									#4
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Hey guys! And thank you both for reading! Yep….good point, and I guess it was something I should have spelled out. These are just my own ramblings and should be viewed as taking place separately from the venerable Spartan Chronicles. In essence, the tales that may unfold here are ideas in my head at the time I came up with the splinter factions….how they broke free from the originals, and how they interact with the other splinter leaders…I thought I’d begin with Ashaandi since he’s far and away the most talked about “Splinter Leader”

Damn! LOL…good catch on the mistake! That one sneaked past the guards….I’ll make sure to correct it when I add part two (which I’m gonna start working on….about right now!)

-=Vel=-

	05-07-2001 21:45									#5
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Got bit by the writing bug over my day off soooo....here's another little segment....

-=Vel=-

	06-07-2001 07:34									#6
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Vel, it's brilliant, keep it coming....Oh, and I don't suppose you'd want to come back over to the SC and perhaps flesh out Ashaandi's character (or any other) further ? We're all in need of a little kick in the butt to get us started. You can't blame a guy for trying, right?

	06-07-2001 07:48									#7
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May I say that I am greatly impressed by all elements of your story. This is the first time in a long while that I have found myself caught up in any form of literature.

	06-07-2001 21:19									#8
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Hey Argonaut & Kirnwaffen! Glad you guys are both reading and enjoying the story so far! That’s one of the cool things ‘bout writing in the forums….the chance to see who’s reading your stuff and what they think! Personally, that’s my favorite part so if you guys have any comments, criticisms, or ideas on where you might like to see the story go, don’t hesitate to jump in and say something!

Hmmm….that’s a tempting offer on the SC….I have fond memories of writing there….awesome idea, and an awesome story. I don’t know, but I will seriously think about it….how’s that for the moment?

-=Vel=-
(back to the ‘writing board’)

	06-07-2001 22:09									#9
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Great to see Honshu again. And it's good to see that Ashaandi is capable of being beating once and a while.

	07-07-2001 00:29									#10
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Wow man, this just gets better and better!

Looking forward to the next part almost as much as I'm looking forward to your presence on the Unity comments thread (/shameless plug)

	07-07-2001 07:24									#11
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Vel,

Excellent, as always. You've given us great descriptions, and fluid (and eminently believable) conversations and characterizations. Glad to have you back!

It seems you have stepped outside of the bounds of SMAC/X, though, with a new faction fighting for life long after other empires have been established, which does not happen within the game. I guess I am a purist that likes to see fiction that generally fits within or explains aspects of SMAC/X. This small gripe will not, however, stop me from enjoying your prose!

Hydro

	07-07-2001 10:52									#12
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I love the latest section on Honshu. You have me compulsively checking the board to see if you've added anything.

K

	09-07-2001 20:57									#13
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Hey guys! Back from the weekend and ready to do some more writing! Sorry for the delay….wasn’t home all weekend, but I had an idea of where I wanted the next segment to go, so I hope you enjoy it!

And Hydro, old friend! How are ya?! I’m glad you’re reading and enjoying as well, and you’re quite right, noting the departure from the “classic” smac/ac universe. I toyed with the notion of having the splinter factions forming up on the Unity, but decided to have that come later, as each leader was able to more precisely “spell out” his/her ideology.

I suppose that from a game mechanics POV, the closest game equivalent would be when you rescue a faction leader formerly imprisoned by someone, and they go off to start again, with the token colony pod and scout.

Ahhh, and SMAC Fanatic, I’m off to go have a look at your continued story soon as I post this!

-=Vel=-