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This is a contest to see who has encountered the most hairbrained AI schemes. My entry is: It was in a game with large map, diety, bloodlust, 7 civs, and RH Barbs. It was 1945. The Russians were playing a fundy warmonger strategy, and had conquered every civ but mine: a peaceful 25 city democracy. They had over 50 cities, but most were at size 5 or 6, compared to my cities that were all at at least 15. Anyway, I decided it was time to use all the money I had been saving in a full scale assault on russia. My attack went smoothly, and gained momentum as it went. Eventually, I was ready for my final attack on the last 5 russian cities: Odessa, Minsk, Sevestopol, St. Petersburg, and Moscow. I first got 7 Howies ready to attack Sevestapol, and I get a message that I caught the Ruskie's transport in port. Then I find the city empty, and march in. Same thing happens with Minsk and Odessa. I decide that Lenin must be gathering his forces in his two best cities. I attack St. Petersburg, to find it defended by a freight and a frigate.  Then, finally, I attack Moscow. It has a total of 3 defenders: 2 engineers and a transport. What the... I would like to hear your stories. Please post them.
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Carolus Rex
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Sweden
Jan 1970
time: 06:12
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Here's a recent one.
In the WWII challenge I was at war with Hitler. He attacked Prague and knocked out every defender I had. Instead of walking in he offered a cease fire...
Carolus
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Surely the AI has more dumb exploits we can add. 
(Translation)
BUMP!
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Civ-wrecked
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San Jose, CA, USA
Apr 1999
time: 05:12
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How about the circling settlers ?
The AI tries to build cities in the direction of your civ, which is a good thing to do. However, if you set up a choke point then for thousands of years it will send settlers after settlers to the same choke point to stand around even though there are empty land to build new cities in any other directions. This is especially true with the perfectionist AI civs, not those which tend to send their settlers out on triremes all the time anyway.
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SCG
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of less than all that I see
Jun 2000
time: 00:12
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I'm not sure quite how to classify this, but i wouldn't exactly call it smart  I just finished OCC 7, where my starting point was a tundra on the polar icecap, and where other than a whale, I had no food tile of more than 1, and most 0. The English, who I was at war with decided to cross the 10 or so tile ocean to get to the pole with a caravel full of settlers. First it attacked my city (and nearly died against my sentried caravan), then it unloaded all its settlers, made peace and proceded to to wander the entire length of the pole, 1 glacier at a time  There was all sorts of unused ariable land, all over the place (the designer made sure of that), just absolutely nothing were he placed our settlers There must be something in the AI coding that says build towards the human, reguardless
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April Cantor: Sire, in order to expand further we must first gain favor of the King
SCG: darn, I've never really got the hang of that tribute thing, guess it will be a long time until i make prince
*goes off and starts gifting gold and techs*
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SandMonkey
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I dunno if this is the dumbest thing I have ever seen the AI do, but here it is...
I was playing ToT last night on the world.mp, original game. I am mopping up the Zulus, and I have them down to their last two cities in S. Africa. They had a walled city, and I wasn't about to start sending my knights to their death, so I just decided to wait it out around the outskirts of the city on some good defensive ground (swamp w/ river and some mountains). I moved a phalanx (one that I bribed) within a couple squares of the city, so the Zulus moved a catapult out to combat my Phalanx. Not wanting to get my perfectly good phalanx wasted for nothing, I pulled him back into a fortress with a couple Knights, for safety in nu,bers reasons (plus there was no road/river connection from the catapult to any of my units). I figured that the Zulus would pull the catty away, since they can see everyhting and would have seen all of my units. Well, no of course they didn't, they moved right up next to all of my guys! Needless to say, I blew it away with a vet catty, but still, why would you move a unit into certain death like that?
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jpk
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Minneapolis
Feb 1999
time: 05:12
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Once I had one city on an AI continent. A coastal AI city was about 5 squares from my city. Turn after turn the AI tried to send an overland diplomat to my city. Turn after turn I destroyed the diplomat. It never occurred to the AI to put a diplomat on a boat. Since I was not patroling the ocean and there was coastal grassland adjacent to my city so the AI could have landed the diplomat and done whatever it wanted to do with no difficulty.
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I can't remember dumb AI moves as well as successful conquests probably due to dumb AI moves, but my most recent game DID have a dumb AI move.
I was fighting the Spanish (my classical enemy) in the early era. I had Chariots, Elephants, and Catapults. It was an impressive army, I had gotten 3 units from every city and moved across an ithsmus (which of course the AI did not take hold of...) and I moved out into a large plain. The vanguard of my army was ripe for the picking, but they made no attempt to attack. I used Catapults to clear their original defenses and they did not attack the catties.
I managed to capture Seville (i think) and I signed a cease fire. (I had only a attack units and I needed time to prepare since their roads were horrible). And then I began taking up positions in their abandoned forts. I kept prodding them towards war, but Queen Isabella never declared war, and she moved in huge quantities of troops that could have at least heavily damaged the invasion force. Finally, I got her and attacked first. It was over after that. I just kept moving toward Madrid.
One of the cities was way off in the boonducks and every small army I sent to take it out was annihilated by some unseen force. So I finally just put a Knight a few spaces from the city to wait for the mysterious unit to appear... instead they built a city 1 square away from my Knight with no support!!!
There was another time when I put my catapults in the forests around Madrid, and there had been a Chariot that was attacking my forces and was currently in Madrid. I bribed a Phalanx and positioned him at the doorstep to Madrid... instead of attacking the Catapults, the Chariot took the bait and took on the fortified Phalanx. That was it, an army of diplomats followed until the city walls were down and the Catapults did the rest.
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Were you playing a no-wonder challenge?
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Yeah, but you still should have vet units to guard your capital.
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But you do know that AI vet ironclads have had a history of beating riflemen, don't you? 
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AsSmAn
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I once fought a enemy that had 19!!!! Nukes in 1!! city, guarded by 1!!!! riflemen!(AND HE WASN'T EVEN VETERAN!)
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How did you get stealth fighters before you had launched your ship? I never get stealth very quickly, b/c i make a bbeeline for SF and Superconductor.
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Murgatroyd
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95 South, 113 West
Feb 2000
time: 21:12
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This one happens to me in almost every game:
(please note: One of my goals for every game is a spotless reputation)
I am far ahead of everyone else in technology. I have an overwhelming military advantage. I discover Space Flight. Suddenly, all of the pathetic AI civs I have been tolerating send out their diplomats (or occasionally spies) to steal it. Now, I'm usually a nice guy, but this is intolerable. Of course, I declare war (after all, they were asking for it).I usually wipe out a couple of civilizations right then.
Then, when I discover the other two spaceship technologies, they do it again!
Murgatroyd
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Longfistking
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Springfield, Mo. USA
Sep 2000
time: 05:12
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(Even though I'm new to this forum I've played Civ II for years. Finally got up the courage . . . )
Diplomats keep coming up here, and I think the AI is dumbest in this regard. I've seen an AI civ send diplo after diplo to steal techs even though I'm maxed to the hilt in techs and military power, and I've nearly wiped their civs out. Once a civ-the Egyptians, I think it was-had one measly city on one pathetic island and they were begging and begging for me to trade for techs. Sure enough, they sent a diplo over and tried to steal something. Well, sir, I had a lot of cruise missles to unload then . . .
Another dumb trick the AI plays-it tries to figure out where your biggest shipyard is and send destroyer after destroyer to blast it, even though you've just sent most of your navy to their side of the map at the same time to blow them to smithereens. The AI could be a little more intuitive, I think.
[This message has been edited by Longfistking (edited September 15, 2000).]
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18-08-2000 06:59
Gotta love those "29 units were lost" messages...
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